andave's place

Happy New Year, everyone!!

It is 1:53 A.M. January 1, 2008.
I'm turning 17 this year.
I will likely get my drivers license.
I will more than likely get a job.
I will take my SAT test this year.
I will start my last year of homeschooling this year.

Oh my giddy aunt. I'm a big girl now. It's rather interesting to be on the threshold of adulthood, though my nickname since I was eight has been 'grandma'.

Thursday through Saturday I had been at a winter snow retreat for Camp Taylor siblings(you remember Camp Taylor, right? The camp for children with heart disease?). Most of the people were teenagers; I think only four were below 13.
Teenagers are weird. Really seriously. The conjunction of adult/juvenile behavior is fascinating even while it is irritating. It's queer to be able to stand away and see that, though, especially since I'm supposed to be smack dab in the middle of my own teenage years. I came away from the retreat with the definite and slightly uncomfortable feeling that I am not a teenager, never have been a teenager, never will be a teenager. They're really weird! So much for a booksy and unusual teenager. I guess there is no real stereotype for a teenager. Good thing or bad thing?

Friday at the retreat we went up to the Sequoia National Forest, to play in the snow. It was absolutely stunning. Tremendous, grand sentinels of trees laced, frosted, sprinkled with snow. It even snowed for a few moments while we were there. Feathery little cotton balls gently brushed our faces and made us look as though someone had sprinkled sugar on us, like Christmas cookies in our green sweaters. I went sledding there for the first time in my life. Once was enough. All I really wanted to do was take a long walk by myself, music lilting softly from my iPod. I didn't even bother asking the shouting and yelling crowd behind me, though. No adult could be spared to go with a teen uninterested in athletics.
But they still couldn't overwhelm the heady stillness of the trees!
My back against one of them, I stood away from the group and listened to the quiet. It came softly, first, gentle strains of harmony, the whiteness of the snow. Then they deepened, the denizens of the forest, the trees, asserting their age, their history, their definitive right to be there. The brass came in then, cementing the melody and hardening the harmony.
That's the dreams of trees. Sorry if I scared you with my prose.

I'm dead tired. We had a lovely New Year's Eve Dance that a family in our church coordinated. There were over a hundred people and I DANCED! Ballroom dancing! Me! I love ballroom dancing!

I've always loved dancing, watching Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Gene Kelly, in as many of their movies as I could get my hands on. But I never dreamed I could or would ever dance ballroom. It's actually not very hard, and rumors are floating that I might actually be a good dancer, especially once I practice a bit. I'll not forget the gallants that took pity on me and danced with me. At a wedding reception we went to on Saturday I got a bit of a lesson but it pales in comparison with what I learned today: waltz, cha-cha, polka, swing, and two-step. How cool is that? It is so elegant, you guys. Beautiful. All the lovely girls in their beautiful dresses and all the handsome guys in their tuxedos. My parents took me and my sister shopping and we both got new shoes. My first real pair of pumps. Told you I'm a big girl now.

We all welcomed the New Year in with a Martinelli's toast (nonalcoholic sparkling cider) and a countdown. For the first time ever, I felt kinda apprehensive about the New Year. Things are set in motion that cannot now be undone, said Gandalf. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Over all my mixed emotions there is the sure knowledge that God rules all things and is in charge of my life, to whatever purpose He pleases. That comforts me indeed, Gandalf the White. Next year I'm going to be 18. Job.

And yet, He is in control. That is beyond reassuring. I didn't make any New Year's resolution, but I know that more than anything I want to grow in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I want Him to take my services and use them for His glory. I want to tell the world that I'm a Christian. Use me, my God!

Happy New Year, my friends! May 2008 be as good to you as you have been to me.

2:41 A.M. and goodnight.