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merciless cycle

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Aunt...I'm an aunt now. As if bob really wants to rub it in my face you're growing old, missy, old *sinister cackle*. And, on top of me being an aunt, comes the other end of the deal: a nephew. Not just any nephew, MY nephew. And he's cute..wait, the whole affair disgusted me from the start. There was a parasite in my sister's stomach for nine months ... and then it's "born" and takes MY title as the youngest kid in the family. Abdicate-shmabdicate, alright? It has no right to shimmy with its cute, wrinkled ~ 8 lb behind and just pull MY throne from under me!
Ech..ech again. Mister drama king with its innocent dazed face hiding the menace to come! humph.
My friends said that after he'd be born, I'd become comfortable with babies and little kids-- uh...nuhuh, it didn't happen yet. Nothing changed me, I'm just responsible for giving someone an authority/maternal-caringish figure. I get left with the dirty work and he, HE enjoys being the center of everything in the world forever!
I wish I could understand the poor, frightened thing, trying to discern all the sights and sounds from one another. I wish I could ease the terror of a new world, another phase among a gazillion...I wish I could save him from that garbage we succumb to entertain us. I wish I could teach him about loving to learn like he's doing now, rather than baking into a cookie cutter shape the educational system tries to make us embrace.
I fear for him, I see the hurt he's going to feel when he finds his first dissapointment, his vulnerability, his ego getting shattered for the first time, the pain when reality sinks in-- when he's realized that whatever he did before was all just a brainwashing of some kind, enforced by corrupted media. His first bout of sadness...his start to his end. Loss of hope...
But then I see the beginning, a renewal from his comfortable fetal-womb mutualism, freedom from the umbilical cord of mother's protection, overcoming societies potholes and earthquakes. The beginning of community, the beginning of exploration, the beginning of EMOTIONS, the beginning of spirituality, and love. Love of the world, love of his past, longing of his future, love of his life, love the physical response to love, love the virtual camaraderie,...LOVE.
I see a return to his first love, his mother, my sister, my mother's daughter, my brother-in-law's wife, my brother's sister, my sister's friend's friend, god's creation, GOD, love of god, love of everything, return to his SELF-- acknowledgment of self v. him v. his mother's child v. society's child v. god's beautiful creation.
Well, that brat's lucky

I don't know how to phrase this:
Please pray(/hope/some other form of supplication you believe in) for all the innocent deaths happening everywhere (politically motivated, personally, etc) to receive their due peace.

btw tea makes you go to the loo...and three pots of that stuff is dangerous
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Comments

  1. B-Mental's Avatar
    Umm, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the prison cell this morning, lol...j/k craze...wait a couple months, and you will really get to like the little feller.
  2. crazefest456's Avatar
    yeah, I had a fever last night and was going through my spice tea regiment (which makes me feel even more hot), so I guess I bursted with this.
    The thing is, I haven't seen him, besides pictures, because my sis lives a 1000 miles away. And it seems like everyone's just extremely happy about it except me. I feel extremely strange because it really looks like the kid just fell from the sky and landed here...And I don't hate him at all, he's very, very cute, but it feels very odd.
    Maybe after I actually meet the lil guy, will I get used to the idea of a new baby thing...
  3. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I have a feeling that any negativity will all dissolve the first time you have the privilege of holding this little person. Babies smell soooooo good (well, most of the time). Congratulations to your family on this little bundle (even though he is miles away!)
  4. stephofthenight's Avatar
    lol trust me im expecting my first neice in january...but i baby sit and did sunday school and trust me the first time he smiles at you while u hold him u will fall in love with him and he will have you wrapped around his little finger with his eyes and smile and laugh...babys are soo cute
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Despite your rampage you seem to love the little tyke. Babies are wonderful and let us hope for peace to the innocent deaths. A wonderful blog entry craze.
  6. RoCKiTcZa's Avatar
    I'm an aunt too... ever since I was eleven actually... to my cousin's baby. Unlike you, I still haven't seen my three nephews... up to now. So lucky for you
  7. mtpspur's Avatar
    Finally someone that really has figured out the throne grabbers place in the scheme of things. Great entry and I think you will be a fine aunt or at leats an aging one.