Halls of the Dark Muse

I feel so inhuman at times, and perhaps I do have a generally mean-spirited nature which I am sure must stem from my misanthropic ways. But there is this forum board where I post my poetry, and over all I like the board. I like posting my work there and I like the other people upon the board. It does not seem so far to have the problems I have encountered on other like boards which mostly envolves the egos of certain crtics just getting in the way.

But though I do not truly dislike any of the people there, on a personal level in someways they just drive me crazy and I cannot relate to them in the least. The problem is that a lot of the people there have first met through support forums and so on the poetry forum board they have a place where people just talk about thier personal lives and problems and such. And most of them are all sucidies and depressed or this or that, and a lot of them have had really bad experinces.

But I just cannot garnaer any sympathy for them, though I do not wish them ill will they just strike me as people who like to play the role of victim and enjoy thier self pity, as I have perosnaly known people whom have had some very bad experinces before, but they do not spend all thier time wallowing in thier suffering they acutally moved on with thier life and dealth with thier issues.

And though I have not had any truly tramatizing events, I struggle with manic depression as well as a laundry list of other mental issues, but though I do have my down times and my hard times, I do beleive in mind over matter and the power of the will and doing things to help yourself. It is easy to just give into it, but that is a choice a person makes for themselves and I choose instead not to let it control me or rule my life, but I fight against it.

I just cannot stand to listen to people whine about thier problems when it seems in large they are more or less allowing these things or just choosing to give up and accept it instead of trying to acutally do something about it.

I guess that is part of the problem I am by nature a strong person, and agressive to some degree, a natural fighter, and so I just cannot relate to those I preccive as being weak. I do not understand people like that.

And I am not trying to say that they do not have legtimate problems but I still think there is always some level or degree of perosnal choice.