Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Sorry, haven’t blogged for a while. I’m still half asleep and my left eye won’t open completely because of a spot on my eyebrow which is making it swell up. I’m playing music quite loudly for two reasons; 1) Because I like the song and 2) to ward off evil vampires. I’ll explain.
I’m at home now, dad got me at about 7:30-45 on Saturday morning.
So, last night, well it was this morning actually, I went up to bed late, no surprises there, and continued reading the subtle knife for an hour or so. Last checked my watch at 5am ish so I must’ve fallen asleep around that time. Normal sleep until I started dreaming about vamipres.
You know those dreams where something’s going on and you just know what it is, you just know who that guy you’ve never seen before is and you just know you’ve got to do this?
Well, this was one of those. I just knew this head vampire, Dracula type guy, was going to kill me. All these vampires were after me and I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t stay in a room with people I knew when it was night time because they turned into vampires (apparently). Eventually they cornered me and I screamed “Why me? Out of everyone why do you have to kill me?” Turns out the head vampire guy needs my blood. It’s the prefect blend from generations of my family. “So I say in that case why aren’t you going after the rest of my family,” kind of sickens me now that I’d try and throw the rest of my family in the way to save my own hide, but it’d make a good story if I threw it together. That was easy enough to answer, though it took some explaining at the time. I’m the only one combining both my mum’s family and my dad’s family and evidently those are the two families that the vampire needed. And, having no siblings I was the only one so therefore I was the only one going to die. I struggled, screamed, basically protested as much as possible. Then, they cut my face off and gathered the few drops of blood, that dripped from my chin, in a vial (Like I wouldn’t be spewing blood everywhere at having my face cut off.) and he drank it. Then it was like time had been frozen throughout that ordeal and I found myself running down a hill with this boy who, I just knew, was my friend Bobby. Then it went a bit crazy with some miscellaneous little girl in pigtails running up to a bus being driven by a big, orangey brown cat. The scene shifted again, the pigeons were what was keeping the vampires here. Then I was back in the vampire’s mansion with my face being cut off again but this time in stead of peeling off smoothly as before it kind of flaked, peeled and sort of floated off in bits, as if I was somehow some kind of zombie or member of the living dead. Then my friends came to get me, which really turned crazy, because they had super powers but I can only remember one of them now and he was, basically, the Silver Surfer, called Danny, who could shoot out silvery things in any size or form he liked (Kind of a little bit like Magneto guess), so he made several silvery blobs and threw them at the door and they, suddenly, emitted an electrical charge that blew the door apart. And the head vampire said “your friends have come to rescue you”. So, one comes in to rescue me while Danny, the Silver Surfer imitation, held the other vampires off, like they wouldn’t have all been around the head vampire in the first place. Then it turns out there’s just four, the head vampire, his wife, daughter and son. And there’s a yellow force field around the mansion and if we try to escape we blow up, but the daughter can cross it because of a special necklace she wears, but if the force field is changed to green (because they obviously change colour in this story) then we can cross but she’ll blow up.
Confused?
I wasn’t but I am now.
Somehow we tricked the daughter into walking through the green force field, because we had the remote, conveniently. When the others rushed to help her we escaped and switched the colour so they were locked inside forever. Then we said we’d defeated the vampires, but I pointed out that we’d only killed one and the others could escape someday. Anyway, to get rid of the other vampires (who were obviously around but we couldn’t see them anymore) it was decided that we should destroy al of the pigeons, by some toxic chemical or other. But I love pigeons so I organised a breeding colony to be captured to continue the species after the vampires had dies out. Some were caught in these little nets so we could get them easily but we couldn’t tell their sex. And one had a broken net and kept escaping and returning when there were no people. I was going to call him Houdini. Then I caught a chicken and tried to hypnotise it with some chalk like I’d seen on a TV program, but it didn’t work and I painted a tattoo on it’s side.

Then I woke up to find it dark and my watch only said about 5:05. I was going to go back to sleep when I thought it was about that time I went to sleep. I couldn’t have dreamt all that in a few minutes. I checked the date on my watch, mon 17th, same day. Then I thought, what if it’s the afternoon? I checked again for the little P on my watch which signals pm. It was there, but to make doubly sure I switched it to 24 hour time, because it’s clever like that, 17. No mistaking it. I’d been asleep for about 12 hours. It was dark and I was still scared of vampires so I had to put all the lights on and call mum just to be certain.
Weird, no?

I know I promised I’d tell you about the origami earlier, I will but I’ve gone no long enough for now.

Bluebiird out.