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When you think the trials and tribulations are over and you can breathe again lo another one comes your way.

On Friday, even though the winter weather was at least 15 degrees warmer--21 degrees--the car affectionately known as The Boat (86 Mercury Grand Marquis) STILL would not start at 8:30 am when the long suffering spouse is trying to get to school.

Ruth tells me it's making the noise that it really really wants to please be a taxi service for its ungrateful owner--after all when was the last time it ever got a coat of wax so maybe it's the battery.

I redundantly remind Ruth I am in my usual state of two days past payday down to five dollars or so--no make that one dollar--I bought two more cheap Avengers yesterday--477 to go thank you as we now start a keep count when I blog with the goal of finishing all 503 issues (plus Annuals) BEFORE the forum Count to 10,000 game gets finished. The credit cards are either cut up or maxed out. The AAA Battery Service we have gets you free testing and on site installation at an average of $106-$119 for a new battery. The current one was installed 2002.

Then a surprise move on the part of put upon spouse. Whereas I had cut up a Chase VISA card about a year ago to keep from using it I had TOTALLY forgotten that SHE had an a matching card--remarkably not used by her. This is interesting to me as the credit cards bills of her I pay on I do NOT have such a matching mate.

Ego quickly shunted aside. I know there is at least $200 paid down on it and I was hoping to get it out of my life as part of the windfall the Citi-vulture loan being paid off would enable me to work on more aggressively. Just as well there are Bookery temptations all the time and I have a plan already in motion to clear up the file sooner and then go back to staying on top of it in the future.

AAA sends out the battery service.

Fifteen minutes discrimination against elderly cars charges are considered by me to be filed brcause my car is so old they don't have the precise battery available to install. This is not good.

Will a smaller one do?

Will it fit? Duh--that old catchphrase whatever works--blood pressure --nerves--diva syndrome competing with the drama queen mud wrestling for supremacy. Sheesh as Ben Grimm would have said in very old Fantastic Four comics. Put 'er in please we're not that picky.

Battery installed and I'm out another $119 and a whole years of paying off that darn card goes up in smoke. Maybe I should join the herd and do the bankruptcy deal. No as long I can work and make payments we have YET to trod that trail. Partner Tonya at work went that route and three years later she and hubby are as down as ever with money troubles. Besides whatever little pride/Christian spirit I have in me balks at this attempt to weasel out of bills my arm wasn't twisted into creating.

Now the other night when I was traipsing my way through Meijers and avoiding the gaze of lady shoppers who might conceive me as a stalker (a very ladylike snort comes from Logos as she gathers this new bit of evidence for her casefile) the wife wants to show me what she wants for Christmas.

Clothes--no--no sense of fashion. That would be a disaster clearly forecasted.

Jewelry--not really she has enough and the cats knock it on the floor with alarming regularity. Jewelry boxes aren't made for stampeding cats chasing each other across dresser tops these days.

Oh cool--the cheap DVD section---surely they'll be something I want to watch too unless its the complete Joyce Meyers collection (who's tolerable in small doses).

Nope--near that area is a chair.

A chair. That's it. As bad a gift idea man as I am even I never thought of a chair.

Mystery solved--its a swivel chair with built in massage mode for the computer. Marked off at half price and only four left on the shelf. I agreed that I would get that for her AFTER the bills were paid with the mid-month check and IF AAA gave us a bonus this year--which is fairly likely but after 9/11 in 2001 three years went by before they could afford it again.

Now with the battery bought and the car back up to speed there was enough to get the chair on the credit card. Ruth annoys me by asking if it's ok seeing as how I mentioned it was already when the battery was getting done as a means to free up the cash flow and make sure she got what she wanted. I give my blessing thanking God I don't have to pick it up myself and lug the thing home since Ruth's car is not ready.

NOTE: It would be but her brakes are going and I went ahead to get that done too rather then have it in the shop a month or so later as it's never convenient. So she gets her wheels back Monday and I had no weekend plans anyway.

Now from the box it surely looked like it was sitting nicely put together.

Nope. Much assembly required. I channel Tim Allen can-do spirit hoping the wrecklessness doesn't seep in with it.

Ruth vanishes into the study to read e-mail while I puzzle out the parts and instructions on putting this modern miracle together. I challenge myself to do this labor of Hercules without sound effects to inspire guilt in my spiritual helpmate and it works. An hour and a half later all that's left is connecting the armrests to the seat portions and for that I do need her help. With a minimum of grumping/whining we achieve comfort tush status and her Christmas is DONE.

Until I can figure out what surprise gift to get her first before the guttersnipes--let alone grandkids.