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AM I NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

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by
Shurtugal
, 11-12-2007 at 04:53 PM (1291 Views)
I'm mad! Very mad... so confused and mad that i'm ready to scream! oh yes, prepare thy ears world, for they are about to be pierced! Gosh, will people stop saying i'm crushing on boys! i am not, nor plan not to unless they like me first. evan my mom has started to tease and my best friend in the world asked me if i had a crush on Jo. NO! NO! NO! I DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is it a crime to talk to a boy? To give them a hug good-bye? To follow them some just to talk to them? Goodness, people are cruel. I am just looking for a friend, yes a guy friend. For i find them more fun to be around with, and evan though they sometime they don't under stand me and they look at me weird if i saything wrong, it's different from a girl. THe girls supposed to understand another [COLOR="Gray"]girl! i'm not putting guy down, the least of my intentions. but it has been proven that most men (not all) can't quite understand girl/women the way we understand each other. But it is not evan funny how much i desire a guy friend. not funny how much i do desire. and the thing that trips me is i don't know why... why? i ask you that question. have you an idea? i don't. so unfair you are world! so unfair![/COLOR]

forgive my rambling... i am going through another blasted emotion of confusion. i really hate growing up! can someone shoot that! just kill growing up. my sword and i have been after it for such a long time; but on my quest, i've yet grown up more... just kill it! just kill it! i don't want to grow up! to many emotions and responsibilities i have found. and so many people say "your becoming such a grown-up" in a postive sort of way. if only i had courage like others, how'd i tell them not to curse me so! i don't want to be reminded that i'm growing up! i still want my inosence, but the world seems like it doesn't. so i've read, seen, and watched more stuff that has jolted my growing to full speed. And goodnes! why does the world want us to grow up and go in relationship? what is the point? nothing, no, nothing. keep your youth... it is the best gift; and shall last as long as you hold it.

now, here is another topic that i'll thrust apon thy plundering mind. why must books be so- what's the word- indesent? vulgar? inapropiate? why must a gay person be in every book? why must the bad turn around and some how be good? what is the point? there seems to be none... nay, none at all. the world is coming to a hidious generation. And my generation is so stupid. oh so terribly stupid. i'm sorry if i affend any, but it is true. they are stupid and they seem just to follow the stupidest. not all, but in general, most of them are just stupid and illogical. and i must be part of them! ugh! just shoot me or plunge a sword through me, i rather not live in the generation to come. to vilent, and vulgar are they. movies, our beloved books, music, posters, ect...
Peter Pan! Come rescue the ones who desire to stay innocent and young! the heartless and careless! come take me away from the cruel world! Take me to Neverland so we shall never grow old!

sorry for that friends, but do we all not ask someone from our favorite books for that.. to come rescue us? no, well then i just am crazy.

and why must my mind be so strong willed, so determind, yet my body just quiet and meek. in my mind i'm bold, funny, smart and cute. Cunning and wise, now just the right words... but when i am finally adressed, the words are lost and all my ability is gone behind a shadow that i can not pierce. One day, Lord willing, i shall cut it and come out as what i wish to be. but untill that time i write, for that is when i am in full controll of the character. words then are like magic, and i am a skilled dragon rider who wields them at my will.
i must go, school calls... -argetlam
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Comments

  1. Virgil's Avatar
    Growing up is disorienting Shurty. And you're right, I can't understand girls like girls understand girls. What's strange though is that girls seem to understand guys pretty well. Why is that? Are we that simple?
  2. andave_ya's Avatar
    Where'd it go? EDIT: sorry; computer was acting up yesterday and I couldn't see your entry. Anyways, growing up is hard. And it's going to get harder, I think especially for you, before it gets better because you're so affectionate. We live in a time when the only notoriety girls get is through being "in love" though, evidently, the term seems relative and not for keeps. Take a look at me. You see? I'm not popular because people think I know so much and they are afraid of me. But you don't have to hate growing up. I know that all the new emotions and responsibilities are overwhelming, but how can we know the pluses of being grown-ups? We're not even 18 yet. Remember what the Bible said? Be ye in the world but not of the world? You don't have to like this violent time, but you are in it. Be the light you wish to be. Let God shine through you. I know what you mean about our generation being stupid but I really think that's a bit harsh. We're living in California. People make it a habit to be stupid here. Other places, the teens are better, I promise. I know what you mean about wanting to pierce the shadow and show yourself as you think of yourself in your mind to the world. Amanda, you and I belong in different, fictional places. There is a reason they're fictional. You need to understand that the time for valor and chivalry and courage and bravery as it is in books like Gone with the Wind and Peter Pan is gone, replaced by a different, colder sort of courage and much, much more violence that is for real. Keep your chin up.
  3. Shurtugal's Avatar
    andya, what do you mean?
    and that could be an options virgil!
  4. B-Mental's Avatar
    Peter Pan! Come rescue the ones who desire to stay innocent and young! the heartless and careless! come take me away from the cruel world! Take me to Neverland so we shall never grow old!


    Such sane words in a world of chaos...please don't forget one thing. You are an equal to any man! You do not need to wait until he is interested... if you do, you may end up with the frog that doesn't become a prince...the two greatest fears in the world are speaking in public, and approaching one you desire.
    Best wishes, B
  5. applepie's Avatar
    Growing up isn't all bad. I don't miss my youth much at all, and I've many happy memories of it that I cherish. It goes much easier when you don't fight the process, but it is a bouncy road to travel. As for the having a guy friend... don't let everyone else get to you. All my best friends are guys, and the ribbing over it never goes away. I just "get" men better, and it sounds like you may have the same thing going on. Hope things get easier soon.
  6. Shurtugal's Avatar
    thanks for caring all!!!!! i just go threw rampages where life is just to crazy for my wee little bwain. (brain)
  7. Shalot's Avatar
    About youth - most of mine is best left light orange or blue text on a beige background.

    It does suck. i don't have anything else to say. I hope that you emerge from it unscathed with no regrets.
  8. Shurtugal's Avatar
    i would like to let everyone know that i'm happy, and i'm sorry if i freaked anybody out... i'm settle in mind and i can control it again. the feeling is still there but at the moment, it is calm and somewhat happy, for it sparks my creativity. thanks so much fo caring y'all!