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Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

I am so depressed

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4 Comments
by
Bluebiird
, 11-14-2007 at 01:52 PM (882 Views)
I'm so ****ing depressed. Somehow I've gotten into using the word **** too, a little more casually than before.
The long and short of it is that I've been working flat out to finish my creative writing work in time. I've hadrly eaten all day and I've been staying up trying to get it done. I got to the library, printed out what I had too late and I got there too late, by about half an hour. This means that my work will be marked down and it's completely **** as it is. To top it all off I left my A4 notepad at home and I'm now five days behind in my story a day thing and I made myself swear to make up the missed days and if I break an oath to myself then there's no hope for me.
I might as wel just ****ing kill myself right now and be done with the whole ****ing thing. Now the adrenaline's worn off I'm so unbelievably depressed. I have to read paradise lost yet, finish Jane Eyre and write another essay. The thing that really ****ed me up was I thought the essay part of my creative writing work was due in next week, however I found out last night from Sara that it was today and I had to rush it. I am so ****ing depressed right now. I cried. I haven't cired since my first day. i couldn't habd in my work to her beause she left at 4 so I've had to leave it by her door where anyone could steal it or something, it could happen, then I'll be deep in the ****ing ****. I feel so low right now. At least I wasn't the only one though, someone else had to give in their notebook but she had an excuse, she'd handed in half of her work, so she might not get marked down. But I certainly will. I sa there on the floor for about 20-30 minutes banging my head on the wall.
I have to cheer myself up. I can't get depressed, I mustn't. I'll listen to my Kaiser Chiefs and if that doesn't work then I'll get out The Rasmus, I haven't heard them since I moved in. I've also found The Young ones and the early Blackadders to watch and I can always watch a film perhaps and if that fails then there's always Bottom.

watching the people get lairy
it's not very pretty i tell thee
walking through town is quite scary

I predict a riot.
I predict a riot.
I predict a riot.

I love that song.

Bluebiird out.
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Comments

  1. B-Mental's Avatar
    Hey BB. I hope things will get better soon. I know how it feels, and a good break in nature always helps me. I like to take long walks in the park, when I'm down. They seeem to reinvigorate me.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Hey girl, I know you can recover. I've watched you come back time and again. You're a fighter and too stubborn to be a quitter. I do think you tend to be hard on yourself. I suggest an outing or something or go get pizza with that one friend you made when you arrived at school. Me I live by lists so I don't forget anything. Hope the one teacher got your assignment. Please please remember this is your first year and it's very much a transiiton period for you. This is to be kindly put but not 'much' is expected for first years--beyond a certain standard (unless you school adhers more to expectations) and some leeway will probably be made. Hopefully by year two your act and procedures and study habits will be more in place and second nature to you. There is a strong possibility I haven't a clue what I'm talking about. But I do care about how you're doing. I just always liked how you spelled biird that first got me noticing you. Still think it's cute. AND the first time I ever ran into the word balmy was in a Phantom comic book--because I had to look it up---waay back in the early 60s. (I still have the issue--not the original one but a replacement bought years later--Gold Key Phantom #7 to be precise.
  3. Niamh's Avatar
    Poor Blue. I hope everything gets better. (i also like that song.)
  4. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Don't be blue, Blue! Things will work out -- the life of a student is NEVER easy, full of rushing, insanity, sleeplessness, tears, sweat (did I make a point). But it is also a time in your life that for some reason when you look back, the student years are the years you will treasure for a lifetime. So hang in there Blue, we are cheering you on. Your Friend, Kizzo