Shannanigan's Search for More...

I think that just about every young couple goes through a pregnancy scare at some point. It's so funny, because ever since 8th grade I've had friends periodically coming up to me, asking how much they can trust the at-home pregnancy tests, was I sure they couldn't have gotten pregnant through oral sex, or if I knew of an anonymous clinic they could go to. I'm the information girl of my groups of friends, what can I say? And usually, all these worries were total overreactions of girls who weren't even late, or who were stressing themselves out so much over the idea of being pregnant that they had stressed themselves into being late...

I'm not saying that nobody ever got pregant in high school or soon thereafter. My boyfriend's cousin walked across the stage with her 8-month-swollen belly, another aquaintance disappeared off island for a while and came back with a baby, and now one of my best friends is due in April. It does happen, and it is scary...but a lot of times I would look at the other girls freaking out and think "Hey, look, if you took a test and it says negative, you're probably not pregnant...and if it turns out that you are, your family will always love you and will help you through it."

Now, of course, when the scare happens to ME, it is a whole different story...because I have no "information girl" to reassure me; all I have is the Google search and it's plethora of sites for women who are TRYING to get pregnant, which only makes me worse.

I know that the semester just started, and that it is the most stressful one I've ever experienced so far. I know that I just changed my diet and started a rigorous excercise routine that includes a 2-mile run about 4 times a week. On top of all that, the funeral on Wednesday really impacted me a lot more than I expected. I know that any one of these things could make me late. I know that the two times I've tested I came out negative...so really, according to my own advice, I shouldn't be worried at all

...but then there are the "pregnancy symptoms" websites. I know, I know, most people who are scared of having a health issue will suddenly attribute themselves with symptoms that they've heard or read...but some of these I was noticing before I even started looking; nausea, fatigue, headaches... most sites say that if I'm experiencing this I should be making an appointment with a doctor, but I don't have a doctor, and I don't want to scare my mom, who is already going through enough, by asking her where I should go if I skipped...man, she would just freak the hell out and give me that "Oh no my daughter's making the same mistake I did!" speech. Besides, these things could easily be caused by me staying up so late at night to get homework done, working out so hard, and eating much less calories than I was a few weeks ago.

I know that it's not that bad, that we used protection every time and never had any "uh-oh's" I know that my diet and excercise and stress are all probably ganging up on me, and the added stress of thinking about all this is probably not helping...I guess it was just our turn to have our scare. I just can't wait until it's over.