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A Little Bit of Everything

Schizophrenia

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4 Comments
by
AdoreroDio
, 10-26-2007 at 04:13 PM (1591 Views)
I have always wondered if every person in this world doesn't have a mild case of schizophrenia. Except no one calls it that. There are other names for it- two-faced, liar, etc. Does anyone else see what I mean?

I mean every person I have come across in my life acts one way in front of some people and another in front of others. They don't even seem to realize it; well some do but most don't. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be with two separate groups sometimes it's just that a person lives a life in front of everyone for their whole life that they believe that is who they are even though their whole life they are lying to themselves. Questions like this flood my mind a lot. I wonder if I am lying to myself sometimes. Who am I really? Who is that person I talk to everyday? Are they who they say they are; who they believe they are? Or are they someone else deep inside? Sometimes I look into my friends eyes and wonder, do I really know them or do I know who they are on the outside?

When I was younger I despised pink with a passion and I hated make-up. I really didn’t want to be thought of as a girly girl. I still don’t like pink but there are some kinds of pink I actually like. As for make-up I actually don’t mind wearing it from time to time, and wish I had more than a couple things of lip gloss. But the thing is, noone who knows me very well knos this. My own family still thinks I despise pink and anything related to it, as for make-up the only thing make-up related I get from anyone is my Aunt who is still attempting to make me into a mature young lady. Why do they think this you might ask? Because that is how they have always known me and how I have acted in front of them. At first it was true, then a small gradual change happened until one day the small bits added into a lot. But I couldn’t just say randomly one day, “hey, you know what I actually like pink a little and I wouldn’t mind getting some make-up every once in a while”. They would joke about it and ask if I’d lost my lid.

The reason is when one thinks they know someone really well, what they have known for a long time they begin to expect certain things as truths, even when they aren’t. Everyone counts on me to hate pink. So I do. But I really don’t. Everyone expects my brother to be truthful, so he is. But he’s not, truthfully he is a pathological liar. People expect my friend to hate peace because he loves history about the world wars, so he does. But that’s not him, he is truly a peace loving guy who hate to see fighting and could never kill anyone.

Is this true or am I just hallucinating? Are you the person people think you are? Do you live up to expectations? Do I? Are we all schizophrenic?
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Comments

  1. Shalot's Avatar
    I don't know about schizo, but we all have to play these roles that we don't necessarily like in order to function in society. At work, you have to be this professional person. At home, with your family, you can be a little more free with who you are most of the time. With my grandmother, I wasn't free to be me, so I just stopped talking to her. I mean, there were some things that we could talk about, but there were some conversations best left alone.

    If I were you, I would just tell my parents you've grown up and the you've become a new person and you want some pink lip gloss or something. With your family, you should be able to do that, at least with this issue.

    Also, I think people just get used to relating to you as you were and sometimes they need to be reminded that as time goes by, people do change.
  2. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I don't know if the term Schniz.'a fits, but we all have roles that we are fulfilling and that don't concur with all people all the time. How I am at home would definitely be different than how I am out in public, etc., and that is ok. We can't 'let it all hang out' all the time, ya know? It is healthy to know where we can be who we are, and where we need to hold ourselves in check. Or something like that.... Kizzo
  3. Bakiryu's Avatar
    Kinda. People don't often see who we are just how we dress and talk. I don't think this qualifies as Schizo (trust me, my dad is full blown mad) but it's a bit mentally deficient.
  4. NikolaiI's Avatar
    About the pink thing, I know what you mean, but fortunately for me it's never been quite that large of a schizm...for me, I went through a period of time when I didn't have the tools (because of anxiety) to deal with or talk to anyone outside of my family or close friends. And I just wondered blankly at how everyone could mess everything up, fight with each other and be so selfish and short-sighted, etc., etc., etc.,- but every one of them, every single one, could...TALK! and i couldn't. Eventually I got over my anxiety but kept my humility. Yay for me. There's all sorts of flaws in the "majority" or the "masses"... for me a worse thing is when people are selfish and lustful, but the result is the same; that they don't see themselves or anyone else for what they truly are. And also, there's a lot of evil in this world; but it causes grief to dwell on the unpleasant, so there's no point. As for your family you might want to act just a slight bit outrageous or bizarre, so they cannot ignore you, but then show that you'll be just as accepting of them if they want to be theirselves (just my opinion). If they push you away for that, then it's really for no reason, and eventually they'll see that, and you can be closer to them on more honest terms (perhaps, and hopefully). :) :D good luck.