applepie

I thought that I would blog again, now that I'm not so grumpy. My allergy attack this morning was really bad. I hate it when Keeghan gets out, because the running always seems to trigger one:flare:

I think that my interview on Monday went really well. The way that the manager spoke, it sounds as if the job is mine if I want it. The hours will be 50-60 hours a week, and this seems like a lot to me. However, I've yet to find a marketing position that is asking for less. It really just seems to be the industry standard, and I'm going to have to adjust my life with my children to work with this type of a schedule. I can't say I'm really looking foward to it. After almost 5 years at home with them it is going to be really hard to let go and make a career work around the time I spend with them. I just keep hoping that I'll not feel as if I'm neglectful because of the time I'll spend away. I think that it is going to seem much harder while my husband is away.

I've been continuing to look at homes, and I am hoping to find something somewhat quickly when I get to Ohio. The sooner that I can get the kids in our own house, the sooner life will return to a semblance of normalacy. I am trying to be in a house by maybe April or May... earlier if I can do it. It will be harder with my husband not home. My days will likely be spent getting the kids up, taking them to my mom, and then bringing them home to put to bed. We'll have the weekends, though, and I intend to be sure they're well spent.

I want to apologize now about my moods. I'm afraid that they'll be pretty erratic for a while. I've been thinking, and I don't think it is all the things I'm doing that are making me stressed out. It is the drastic changes that are coming in my life. Any single one would not be a big deal, but I've many things changing at once. To give you a bit of a rundown... I've just graduated after 4 years of school, I'm trying to find employment (real employment not the part time I work now), I'll be away from my children for extended periods most days of the week for the first time ever, my husband is remaining in Washington while I move to Ohio about 9 months before him, he's getting out of the military and needs to find a job as well, we are buying our first home, my kids will be with a sitter which is going to be hard if my mom can't watch them, I've student loans that I will have to start repaying, and my son is going to start school next year. I think that is most everything, and any one or even two of these things are not too stressful. I think it is the fact that they're all happening at once that has me feeling so stressed out all the time. I figure in another year or so I'll be feeling a bit more mellow. Heck, if I get this job that is one huge worry off of my shoulders. My mom is planning to watch my kids for free, so there's another gone, but I'm not sure shell be able to handle my hours. I may have to take my kids to a stranger, and that is stressful for me when I'm used to being able to stay home with them. So... yeah... crazy times here. There is just a little too much change here for me. I like change and all, but this is way too much at one time. It is making it impossible to be anything but overwhelming. I've also had it occur to me that my solitary life, which I've just learned to LOVE, is almost at an end. I've really started to enjoy my solitude out here since I was pregnant with my daughter, and now it is about to be entirely upset for something else. Finishing my novel quickly and trying for publication is starting to look more attractive:lol: I'm starting to think I may really like to write for a living if I can, and now I may not have the time to do it.

Anyway, I've digressed. If I seem to blow hot and cold for a while this is why. I'm going to try and keep up here, but I may not be visiting as often when I find a house. I'll be back more frequently once everything is moved, but there may be a three or four month period during which I am in a house with basically a bed, a dining room table, and some basic dishes. I'll not have much else until everything comes from Washington. I'll be sure to let you all know when that happens. I'm going to go again for the night.

Take Care,
Meg

P.S. Virgil, I just wanted to say congratulations on the pending adoption for both you and your wife. I ran across the post where you mentioned it this week, and I'm wishing you the best of luck. Kids are a lot of work, but they're such a joy to have as well.