Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Well, I almost had a momentary relapse today. I received an email from Tom, it arrived yesterday but I didn’t check then. He basically decided to start a new email topic (That’s what we used to do, we’d write stories combining our characters and put them in all kinds of situations). He hasn’t spoken to me for months and suddenly he just decided to send me an email out of the blue and start a new topic. No Hi how are you doing, no Hi would you like to start a new topic. Just I take it you can’t think of anything for our last topic still, neither can I so I’ve had an idea for a new one and this is it…. Seriously Tom, get a grip. I stopped talking to you for a reason and I figured you’d got that seeing as you didn’t talk to me either. Now you just suddenly expect things to be like they were, you don’t even ask if I want to go back to the way it was, if I have the time to do that? You may have thought that my life revolved around you but it didn’t. I knew yours didn’t revolve around me, that would’ve been damned annoying if it had . I try not to think about those characters. I can’t use them for anything. Mine are either copies from somewhere else that I’ve moulded in my own way or somehow connected to them and those that aren’t are quite personal to me and all of the others are his or are somehow connected to his. It’s not worth the agro. So I try to keep them neatly filed in a drawer in my mind. I can’t dig them up now, I’ve got so many others in my head who need filing.
Anyway, I told him that I had a lot of things to do, I was sorry but I just didn’t have the time and dragged out everything I have to do for Uni. to date. Out of courtesy I asked how he was, and partly out of curiosity too but only a tiny bit but also to show him what I felt he should’ve done, seeing as it’s been so long since he’s spoken to me. It turns out he had a very fun time, heavy on the sarcasm. I’d copy and paste but I’ve got a worry that he might, just possibly know and/or find out about this blog. All he’d have to do would be to google bluebiird. I tried it just to see and after a few irrelevant results I got a match that linked here, the first thread I ever started asking for help on Blake. Though I doubt he would find it but I just worry that he might, especially since he said don’t laugh before typing the rest of what happened since we last spoke.
Okay, so he went out like he planned, on the 15th of may, he’d either packed or sold his stuff and was carrying the rest with him. But when he got to the airport he discovered that you can’t have a single ticket to America (unless you’re a citizen I guess), as much as I hate the expression I’m willing to use it, well duh, you really thought it’d be that easy you dumb ****? So he had to call his mum to get her card details so he could get another ticket, it took a while it seems and when she finally emailed the details to him the last flight was gone so he had to go home and do it again the next day. He got to the airport there (I won’t say exactly where, just in case he’s watching) He can’t go directly to her, he has to change flights a few times. But he got to the first one and was made to go to the detainment room. He was grilled with questions about his intentions, what he was doing, where he was going, who he was, everything. The guy grilling him told him there were lots of people in his situation, marrying an American to get their green card, that wasn’t his plan but the guy didn’t know it. Then they sent him out while the called her family to confirm his story. When the guy came back the said he could send him back here if he wanted but "he was a young man once" and let him go. So he finally got there. Turns out their engaged, yeah like I didn’t see that coming. I’m just wondering if she’s pregnant and if not if she’s going to be soon, I wouldn’t doubt it. But I’m not going to ***** because maybe that’s not her intention at all and I have to accept that I don’t know all of the facts to I’ll say no more on that kind of subject, it’d be immature.
He stayed for three months, any longer and he’d have been deported and her mother would’ve had to pay $15000 for harboring an illegal alien, .
So now he’s stuck back in jolly old England, his old room is currently housing his step dad who’ll be gone soon he says so he’s sleeping in the little room that his mum used for an office. Now he’s got a new job as a Telesales Executive for Xerox (so no job at blockbusters then ) and he’s waiting until he can see her again.
Oh, and he’s finally found out what he really needs to do to stay there, I can’t be bothered to go into it, it’s a whole lot of form filling on both sides, his and hers and if he’s not accepted he has to wait 10 whole years to try again .
On reading al that stuff I so badly wanted to say, you dumb ****, I knew you couldn’t just waltz over there and shack up with your girl, hello, are you ****ing brain dead or what! Honestly you ****ing retard!
I don’t know where that came from. I despise using that term. I never use that term.
He thinks that because of all that life’s landed him with a pile of ****. Honestly Tom, you really need to grow up.
Then he reciprocated my courtesy but asking how things were with me so I told him about getting into Uni. And all. And he said, and I quote, because I want to quote this “Wait, hang on, you're in UNIVERSITY?? Living with PEOPLE?? Holy cow, that's GREAT!! You're not pulling my leg, are you?”
Why the **** would I be pulling your leg? You think I tell you this stuff to entertain you? No. I had the determination not to end up like you, Tom, I had the determination to go and do it. You always said you’d finish college, take out a gap year to earn money and go to university but you well and truly ****ed that up by dropping out of college. Just because you failed doesn’t’ mean I will. You think I’m incapable of getting into university? You think I’ve been moping about the house since the summer waiting for you to email me like some brain dead zombie? Get a life you dumb ****.
I told him I wasn’t pulling his leg and what I was studying. I hope it hit him like a brick in the face. He thought I’d stay the same as I was, a shy little rag doll that he could just toss in a corner and think she’d stay there and then pick her up five months later as if nothing had changed. Well, I’ve got news for you, this rag doll got claws and a spine and she got a life and she’s proud of it.
Then he asked me a few questions, like so how are your housemates, getting along with them, he even had the nerve to ask if I had a love life. Is that really any of your concern Tom? I answered, no I didn’t, I wasn’t looking. He thought I sounded more mature.
For the rest of the time he was still trying to get to know me again, like was my favorite colour still blue? I think he was trying to build a mental picture of me again because she said he had this idea that my hair was short and that I wore black. I replied that my hair was the same as always, cut for the holiday and growing until the next one and that I did wear black. He thinks he’s psychic. I didn’t tell him that I’d recently been toying with the idea myself.

Well, that’s all, I just wanted this documented and to let you all know about it.
The only other thing is that mum got rid of a huge spider this evening. I was in the bath at the time but I heard her screaming and telling it off for moving too fast .
Also I dreamed about Henry last night, my beloved, dead cat. But only briefly. There was other stuff regarding an extension and a heap of other stuff. It wouldn’t make sense to repeat.

Well, I’ll let you all go and get on with your lives now. Cheers for reading.

Bluebiird out.