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Before the arrival of Patty I was given a short but concise set of guidelines to be governed by in my deportment towards this e-mail friend of the long suffering spouse.

Don't stare at her--it makes her nervous. (Note to self--practice with the peripheral vision.)

No flirting. No flirting. No flirting. Save it for Logos if you must. (As if I needed the encourgaement to tease my favorite moderator.)

It's further hinted that Patty takes her faith V-E-R-Y seriously and some of my more charming worldliness may be counter to her spiritual growth. (This I can accept as one of my fears is always damaging the faith of others and I didn't want to share my Avengers with her anyway.)

I promise to make the becoming nervous by the minute one rest easy. I've seen Patty's picture on a webcam one night and flirting with a sincere heart would be (for once) more work then any gentle resultant amusement was worth. Besides having been appraised of her marital troubles I learned years ago you NEVER compliment troubled wives--they are in no emotional frame to appreciate the sincerity and it fosters resentment towards the innocent purveyor thereof. In other words I suck at encouraging lady friends who are going thru divorce proceedings. Pointing out their good points seem to magnify the failings and the spirit dies quicker. I've learned to just listen and go thru the mantra of 'praying for you'. And sometimes I do.

Anyh-o-o Greyhound arrives on time and I snicker silently remembering many a Turlock, California bus ride that was 5-10 minutes off when I would ride up there from Merced looking for comics on Saturdays rather then wait for the Base Exchange to get them on Monday. Addicted much??!!! Who knew Dayton could get it right.

Ruth and I stand by the bus door to the right of it awaiting the grand emergence. Suddenly "There she is."

"Where?"

"Right there."

"I don't see her." Remember I knew roughly what to look for.

"She's right there!"

I decide to not lie and just grunt.

Then Patty in all her glory. She is carrying a back pack and a book on the Supernatural and the Church of the Ages (or something like that). She greets Ruth with a hug and (surprisingly a half hug for me that I make sure I keep chaste) then the chattering magpies take over.

I take her back pack and lead the way to the parking garage and shamelessly listen in. The trip went quite well. The Supernatural book was given to her by a lady of dubious doctrinal beliefs and my desire to peruse it goes unrewarded. I'm biting my tongue at the concept that anyone could consider Ohio "beautiful". I like it but I freely admit western New York is hillier and lovelier and Ohio reminds me just enough of New York to be a homage without inducing homesickness. Patty wants to do everything. Go to a movie, go places, see everything. Have Ruth teach her to drive. I make a mental note to put my foot down on that escapade--any damage there and Ruth and a taxicab to school will be a character building lesson. So lovely. And we must come down to visit. Never if I have anything to say--closer I want to get to Texas is Dallas reruns on DVD. Ruth can go.

Patty is physically just a wee bit shorter then Ruth so I'll put 5' 1" but her 'girth' beats Ruthie by a large margin. She's proudly wearing a shirt that Ruth had sent her. Forgot to mention she has a camera and isn't afraid to use it. I'm rarely get photographed and have learned to just put up with it. Pictures lie anyway-- I have more hair then THAT and I am too 185 not 191 like the doctor's scale says--by golly I eat less these days. (I'm 5' 6"--lost a half inch due to that phenomena called aging --I call it slouching.) While no beauty queen (by the Hollywood standards or even the Ugly Betty standards--Patty is full blooded Mexican) I found her charming enough especially when smiling which was an on and off mechanism with her. Her eye contact is completely non-existant--even with Ruth. She talks to the side of you. For the 90 minutes I'm physically in her life I LOOK at her eyes but this made her uncomfortable (event to be told next Tuesday) so I give it up in the name of hospitality. Which is going to get tested next Monday.

We leave the bus station. I offer Ruth the chance to sit in back with Patty to make the bonding easier but she stays up front. (Two Brownie points awarded.) Knowing Patty has been on a bus all day and then some I decide she might be hungry and quick check my wallet. Yep this will be a Hardees night. Before going over there I drop by AAA to leave a magazine for Tonya's husband (Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #7) and covertly to prove Patty exists and this wasn't a scheme to get a third day off in a row. I offer Patty the chance to see the call center but the magpies are in full screech mode and barely register my absence. I deliver the mag, leave first impressions with Supervisor Jeannie, and off to Hardees.

In my absence Ruth has loaned Patty her cell phone and she calls Mom and Dad first, younger sister name unknown and finally husband James to apprise them of her safe arrival in the land of milk and honey. I make one lame joke about the husband always getting the last of the blessings but it falls flat and is largely ignored. I pick up on that Patty is in full 'my sister Ruthie and I love her so much mode' that I know I would want to vomit it out if I endured much more. I was just starting to realize that Patty had come to see Ruth and NOT Mrs. Ruth and Her Burden. Oh well I've been ignored by ladies I cared much more about. The ego is checked at the door and revalidated. Still in place. This is a Ruth week and for once almost nothing about me. And this is as it should be.

We arrive at Hardees and Patty starts to get replies to all her voice mails back. The ladies retreat to the ladies room and I'm thumb twittling for about ten minutes until they return. My plan to have a hot meal is saved by my refusing to order until they were done with amenities. I say farewell to $17 or five candy bars and which Avengers series comes out next Wednesday and we eat.

We arrive home after supper and the ladies vanish into Ruth's room (where the computer is and the spare futon bed and study desk is. Patty is immediately added to the computer (for the week--I deleted her yesterday) and I sense my Litnet time is going to be curtailed. Even more important my access to the latest comic book news. This is shaping up to be a long week already.

Out of respect I stay out of the way. The cats vanish immediately upon Patty coming in the door and are hardly around much. Except Trixie who is doing better but sleeping in the bathtub. Onyx makes too friendly a move on her but she relaxes quickly with him--wait until she has food with her Onyx won't seem as precious then. I don't bother with The Office or E.R. Both shows are at the point where you can miss one and not lose the main story plots. Am determined not to miss House next week. I retire to the main bedroom to read in peace.

Around 2 am the long suffering one remembers she has a hubby and joins me. And I make my first mistake of the week. I ask one question. (For the record the question is more appropriate for the END of the visit.)

Jovially or so I thought "So are you feeling the pressure yet?"

"NO, are YOU?" Ouch. Several nerves have been struck but she won't admit it. I assure her I am fine, sorry about doubting the bonding experience and the Sisterhood of Blah Blah. Was just seeing if she was getting nervous about Patty feeling welcome and glad to be here. She assures me it's fine. And it is.

For a few days.

Friday is a school day for Ruth in the morning so I sleep in and get up (providentially it developes later) just in time to be cleaned and up and ready to be sociable when Ruth returns early from school. Her instructors think nothing of getting an early start on the weekend. Actually I had gotten up about 9:30 long enough to grab the paper and read my daily Spurgeon sermon then sleep some more until 12:30. Patty was making some breakfast for herself which was fine. I secretly hope she's the type who loves to wash dishes for her hostess let alone have a relationship with lawn mowers of doom but disappointment and I are old lovers and we bite deep.

Ruth arrives--they vanish in the computer room and I go to work.

Friday evening the ladies are still at it. They have walked the community park a bit. Patty has a bunch of pictures she's taken of Ruth and posted to the computer. They have visited Meijers where Ruth works. I left work early Friday on a half hour comp time to spend time with them and THIS was the night I was to realize that Patty had no interest in Ruth and I as a couple. Again I assure myself Logos loves me so what do I care. They do seem to coo around each other like pigeons. At work I refer to them as the campfire girls. I again end up reading in the bedroom. And quietly relieved that I'm not expected to be an active participant in Patty's Big Adventure. Remember her family had all tried to talk her out of this meeting of the internet people--you just don't know what they are like. Etc. Etc.

I'm starting to miss regular TV however but this prayer gets answered Saturday very unexpectedly. The ladies were gone when I woke up Saturday. I go to work and around 8pm Ruth calls me and my life changes again.

You guessed it: To be continued