applepie

I'm not too sure what has happened in my household, but all of a sudden I seem to be really busy again. I think it has to do with cramming a couple more activities into my already hectic days.

I've been managing to keep up going to the gym each day, and I'm happy to say that I'm dropping off pounds at a nice steady rate. I'd already lost some weight before I began visiting the gym, but I had stagnated at about 155. I've lost almost another 10 pounds in the last three weeks, or so. I hope to be down to 130 by the holidays, and I plan to keep the weight off. This is a huge worry off my head, because now I will not be as worried about how I look in a suit when I begin interviewing. I'll admit to being self concious about my body, and while I don't expect to ever look like a super model, I like to not feel fat when I look in the mirror. So, I'm quite happy to see the weight go. I'm also happy that regular visits to the gym seem to be improving my temperment some. It isn't as good at keeping my temper at bay as martial arts and fighting each week, but going 4+ times a week is making me a bit more mellow.

On top of visiting the gym, I've been working hard at this final push of school. I could stop work in my class now, and I would still pass for the term. I'm determined to not barely pass my final course just because I'm ready to be finished with all my course work. Anyhow, I'm half way through my 7th week of work and I've only one more week after this. Next week is finals and I can breath another sigh of relief at having finished my BSBA:banana:. I've about finished my resume, and I have a few companies that I'll be sending it out to.

Now onto the latest stress factor... I'm getting ready to send out resumes, but most of the positions are to be filled by the end of the year it seems. When I find a position, both of my children and myself will be moving back to Ohio. The sooner I find a job, the longer my family will be separated since my hubby will be out here until the begining of August next year. The problem, we find, is that we are reluctant to pass on a position that may be starting at as much as 45K a year with benefits and the whole deal. We know it is better in the long run for me to take the position if it comes, but I find myself dragging my feet at applying. So, now I need to give myself the proverbial kick in the butt so I don't miss out on a good opportunity. One company is in the process of expanding their business, and they do marketing for such clients as the Cincinnati Reds and some other sports teams. I would really like to get on with them, but it may mean having to leave before Christmas:( If I can get hired, I'll go home immediately, but I am already worrying over having a longer separation than what I had planned.

It is starting to seem that this next year and a half is destined to be hard on my entire family. Not only will we have to deal with the stress and arguing that seems to come from a long separation, but we will also be dealing with a lot while we are adjusting to being a family again. Garrick will be starting school. The hubby and I will have house payments and all the other bits that come with owning a home, and we'll not have the security we've enjoyed with the military. I don't even know what it is to pay electricity and water. I've been living in base housing since moving out here, and I've never had to deal with all those little details.

I'm sure we will land on our feet. We always do, but I feel no real joy at the coming months. We've finally settled our marriage and the last couple of years have been really quiet and calm. I worry that being separated for 6 or more months will mean having to start over, and we'll have many more outside stress factors as well. In my true fashion, I'm sure that I'm worrying more than is necessary, but I am really starting to panic about the changes soon to be hitting our lives. How did I go from thriving on change and a turbulent life to being paniced at the thought of my life being upset???? I now find that I spend my days worrying about how my son will deal with the move, and whether my little girl will remember her Daddy when he comes home. My son didn't remember his Dad after the last deployement, but I deep reminding that this isn't the same thing. They will be able to talk with him each day, and he'll be home to visit a couple of times as well... See panic:lol: I'm starting to ramble on, so I'm going to sit and drink my tea. Hopefully it will help the brain shut down for the night, and I'll get a good night's sleep.

Take Care,
Meg