Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Sunday
My first day here and we weren’t ready when dad came to get us and took a while to get sorted. Then mum put Eddie in a bag where syrup pudding leaked and he got all sticky so we had to try and clean him up. I had to navigate, which just meant holding the out of date atlas that’s about as old as I am, and dad got a bit lost. We eventually arrived, parked etc. We signed in and got my room key and padlock for a cupboard. Then I had to check in with medical by filling in a form. One of my floor reps showed us to my room and helped with some baggage, though we didn’t give him anything heavy. I had trouble with the lock because you have to turn it twice. The door had a green sign with my name on it which we were quite surprised by. We got the rest of my stuff, brought it in and did some unpacking, went here and there a bit, finding the bathroom and kitchen. I made several repeat visits to the kitchen because I kept finding things. I rather embarrassed myself when I opened a bottle of water and it fizzed over me but I held it over the sink so the damage was minimal, didn’t stop me getting splashed though. Then we got me insured and my T-shirt dried out. We finished unpacking, then arranged stuff. Dad wanted us to go out and look round and mum kept finding things and trying to arrange them. I didn’t mind, in fact I preferred it. Dad referred to her being like a mother hen. Then we went out and looked around, found the student union bar. Mum needed a cup of tea so we asked if they had any but they didn’t but they referred us to the cafe and mum finally got her tea. I didn’t want to eat anything but they persuaded me. Then dad pointed out they had pizzas so we ended up splitting one. Dad had two slices (We let him have the second, well he took two thirds) because he hadn’t had any breakfast and I gave him the crust of my slice. It was nearly time for them to go. I didn’t want them to go. We came back up to do a final check and so mum could get her stuff from my room. The others would be gathering in the kitchen about that time but I didn’t care. I saw them to the car and when mum cuddled me we both just started crying. I’d been holding it in all day and hiding slightly watery eyes behind fake yawns (Which make my eyes a bit watery normally). She only had one tissue (I say tissue, it was actually a square of kitchen roll) so she split it with me. I said bye to them. Dad said he knows how I feel because he was in a home when he was younger but the difference was that he was only told when he could go home whereas I can go home whenever I want and he was there for four years, I’m only here for three. He said the first few weeks would be hard, maybe even the first term but it’d get better afterwards. I waved them off, trying not to cry again and smear my mascara because I had to get to the kitchen. I went to my room, checked my eyes and followed mum’s advice about quickly brushing my hair before going in. I stood nearest to the door because everyone else was there, well almost. We waited for a few others and then introduced ourselves by saying our name, age and what we were studying. When it was my turn I had to step forward a bit because the door was in the way of half of the room and I ended up kicking the bin. The girl before me said it was her birthday so we sang happy birthday to her. I think that even though I’m not the youngest here I look it which is an interesting contrast because there’s one boy here who’s 18 but looks about 20ish. We retired for about 10 minutes so people could change and smoke if they preferred before we went to the student union bar to meet everyone. I sat at my desk playing Sudoku instead. Then we all met up in the kitchen again and went to the bar. I hung around there for a few minutes but couldn’t handle it so I went outside. I sat on a very rickety bench right next to the pond full of Canadian geese and a heron. Two geese came out and started eating the grass. Eventually I came back to my room and cried. Then I took out my laptop and wrote what I was feeling, “I want to go home,” etc. Then I deleted it all and decided to fill in a blog entry even though I’ve not got any internet access yet because it’d give me something to do and I’d have forgotten half of this by the time it’s sorted. I put on my Kiser Chiefs CD (Using my earphones), cried here and there (There’s two songs on the CD I couldn’t listen to then, Oh My God and Every Day I Love You Less And Less because Oh My God Has a chorus of Oh my God I can’t believe it I’ve never been this far away from home and Every Day I Love You Less And Less has the line and my parents love me). All of my mascara’s come of now, I’ll need to reapply it if I go down there again. Half way through my typing my floor rep knocked on my door and asked if I was alright and tried to talk me into going to the bar. He made me feel a bit better though I didn’t tell him I was already homesick it’s quite clear I was. He’s probably been in the same situation as me before. He helped me to make a decision on a second appearance at the bar. I’ll have to put my eyes on again though. I looked in the mirror after he’d gone and realised that my eyes were still red, it was obvious I’d been crying.
I’m feeling better now but it won’t last. Before I was thinking I don’t want to be here, I wish I’d stayed at home and got the train here but that’d take ages and I’d be thinking I wish I’d applied for residence, so I couldn’t win either way.
I’m going now.

Wow, met another whovian already.
Better go in order though.
I went out again but the bar was so crowded that people were sitting outside and were quite loud. I had another wander round, came back. I called mum and we had a long chat about nothing really. I think she’s a bit concerned that I didn’t hang around in the bar and introduce myself (I didn’t give her the full extent of my cowardice though, I figure it’ll be like the crying thing where I might upset her just like her starting to cry made me cry.) She told me she’s got Doctor Who wrapping paper. That’ll be fun. I want to call her and tell her I met another Whovian but she said she was going for a bath and I don’t want to disturb her, though if she turns out to be as upset and concerned as I think she may be then it’ll cheer her up to know I’ve got something in common with someone here besides the fact that I’m a little fish in a shark tank, like the others. Anyway, I was...What was I doing? I can’t remember, maybe playing Sudoku when there was another knock on my door. I answered it in my new blue slippers (They’re like mum’s slippers only blue and not so old and grey). It was my other floor rep and she was with her boyfriend I guess. It’s comforting that they’re checking up on me as I haven’t made many appearances since leaving the bar. I forgot there was an informal supper in the kitchen at 6:30, mum reminded me and it was about 7:30ish. After a little chatter I mentioned how I was thinking about getting a dalek and sticking it on my door and her boyfriend was like you like Doctor who? And I said yes then he asked what I thought of the old ones and I explained that I hadn’t seen them, I was too young when the last one finished. He seemed pleased by that because he said that everyone he talked to about it said that the new Doctor Who isn’t as good as the older ones. How can that be? They had the TARDIS on a string for goodness sake and aliens made of foil, rice crispies and bubble wrap. We got into a discussion about that and I asked his opinion on Torchwood, we agreed it’s as good as a spinoff can be but not as good as Doctor who. Because I’d seen series three quite a bit and series one and two were also recently on BBC3 my knowledge of Doctor Who was quite fresh. I digressed a lot. My floor rep has a sweet tooth and likes cakes and variety packs, which is another thing mum got me, though we have no milk. I thought maybe I could try what dad does and use water but that’s very disgusting. He has bland taste buds. I managed to slip my recently lost tooth into conversation which seemed to interest them, there was a little tooth discussion too. The thought has just occurred to me that they may have been humouring me on that but it sparked a bit of a conversation on teeth. Like I said, there was a lot of digression but I feel better. She understood about the whole being sad and afraid thing but I knew she would, she’s done it too. You know what, I listened to Everyday I love You Less and Less typing this and now it’s Oh My God. Can I keep it together for this song? We shall see. Before I thought this’d be a perfect song because of the chorus “Oh my God I can’t believe it I’ve never been this far away from home”. Yay, I managed to survive the whole song without cracking up.
I’m feeling better now.
I’ll update if anything else interesting happens.

Friendly Fish in a Roomy Pond
Monday
I figured that it’d be wise to get up at about 7ish because we had to meet in the kitchen and go down to a talk at 9:30 and I’m very slow in the mornings. I went to bed soon after completing last night’s entry at about 10:30ish. I knew it’d be an hour or so before I could sleep though, even though I was tired, I cried a bit more. I couldn’t sleep and what made matters worse was the others had gone to the bar and were coming back in dribs and drabs, talking, some were still moving stuff in I could hear everything in the corridor. I listened as best as I could to what they were saying because I heard someone saying that someone just stays in her room. I suspected it was me. I felt so sad and lonely. Hours passed and there was no respite. Some selfish person, the boy to my right started playing music, or it may have been a film, either way it made a lot of noise. I listened and it turned out one boy had swapped some names on the doors. I hoped mine wasn’t one and when it got quiet I’d go out and check, I didn’t, though I made a trip to the loo in the quieter hours. My head was right by the corridor wall which didn’t help. I felt too hot to sleep so I opened my top window again and turned my bed round, well, moved the pillow to the other end and turned the duvet. It was about gone 4ish before I could sleep, that was about the time I looked at my watch anyway. I think I drifted in and out of a doze between those times but I estimate that I only got about an hour’s sleep. I think I woke up before my 7:30 alarm but decided to stay in bed until 8. Then I got up and had a quick wash in the sink in my room, I could’ve used the shower but that’d take me too long. I’d have to get up earlier for that. I felt better after a sleep, no matter how short and thought maybe it’s not so bad. I got dressed and ready before using the toilet (I didn’t want to go out in my pyjamas and risk ridicule this early on, not after yesterday so I waited until I was dressed). I called mum and we talked a bit and I got a text from dad so I called him too. That made me feel better too. I think I felt better because I’d thought of a good way of talking a little more with my housemates and try to get them to like me or at least not totally shun me. I decided to smile, say Morning and ask if they slept alright. Most said they did and when they returned the question I said I hadn’t because I’m a bit of an insomniac and I only got about an hour’s sleep (Pity points, if I can’t get into their friend lists then at least I can try to get into their ‘she’s not our type but let’s not be rude to her’ lists). I got my breakfast, frosted shreddies with a little bit of water. They’d never seen that technique before. One pointed out there was milk but I said I didn’t want to be stealing other people’s milk. Besides, I thought to myself, if I can grow to like cereal and water they I won’t need to spend money on milk. Risky strategy though because although it didn’t make me wretch it was weird and unfamiliar. Seeing as I’d used water and not milk I figured that I need only rinse my bowl rather than go full out and wash it. I dried it and put it back in my cupboard. Then I went back to my room to clean my teeth in my sink. As I left I noticed the others were gone. I’d obviously taken too long. I was worried. I went to the kitchen to make sure they were gone and then rushed out to where I’d last seen them through the window and followed the other students. There was a queue a long queue but I went down one side of it to find my housemates because I was worried that we were supposed to be in groups. I spotted some of them, I only remember about half of their faces, but I couldn’t completely join them. I got as close as I could though and when we all went inside the chapel (Where the meeting was) I followed them with my eyes to find out where they’d sit. I spotted some taking up a row and there was a space on the end but I didn’t want to just dump myself there so I took a seat in the row behind which was virtually empty. I was sitting next to a stranger so I said hello (My technique for starting conversation with new people) and then we introduced ourselves and what we were studying, she’s doing children’s literature. Then we had to be quiet for the speakers which we could only half hear at the back. Then there was mention of taking a break and my whole floor got up and left. I stayed for a bit but decided to follow, in case. Some of them were smoking and the rest hung around outside our house. I followed but kept my distance so they wouldn’t think me a limpet. Then I went back to the chapel, hung around and went for a walk around. I thought I might as well do something useful and pay my tuition fees but I didn’t know where. I met another boy outside the cafe where I’d paused to check my guide, he looked lost so I asked if he was lost and he said yes so I said me too and asked if he knew where we had to pay our tuition fees. He didn’t know. Then I went back to the chapel and asked out student union rep if we were supposed to go back inside. He said yes, they were just waiting for the other speakers. So I went back in. I couldn’t sit in my old seat because the girl I spoke to before was talking to another girl so I sat in the row in front, which was now empty because all of my lot were nowhere to be seen. But when the other girl moved back to her seat I left it for a moment, puzzling over my old Sudoku book before getting back up and going to my old seat with a Hi again and I thought I’d better move in case they came back. As it happened, they didn’t. She’d told me her name but I couldn’t hear it properly, her English wasn’t that good and I can’t understand accents very well. When we first spoke she said something I couldn’t make out but rather than being rude and not answering I blamed my lack of understanding on a slight lack of hearing, which I seem to have because sometimes I can’t hear very well. I played some more Sudoku and she asked me how to play it, which was great because I was thinking of using it to offer her a chance to help me out with is so I could either explain the rules and get more conversation or converse over the playing of it. I explained as best as I could and said she could help me with it if she liked, so we mused over the puzzle for a bit during which I slipped in some conversation and practical demonstration of playing Sudoku. Then our speakers arrived so we postponed the game to listen. First was a guy who mum and I saw during the open day (That seems like so long ago now) He’s in the student union and seems to be a really fun guy. Then we had a talk from our security officer who was also quite fun and then out safety advisor who did a practical demonstration of using a fire blanket on a pan fire with the security man. When it was over me and the other girl left via the back door as it was empty and the others were all cramming out of the front. We walked around, talked she suggested lunch to which I agreed as I was hungry. In the queue I said hello to the person behind me and she said it back, asked my name and what I was studying. She turned out to be doing English literature too. Then the other girl got a jacket potato and I had a bacon, brie and cranberry Panini, it tasted a bit weird but it was okay. The other literature student came over to us and asked if we should all join at one table but she was with a flatmate and the other two spaces were reserved so we stayed where we were. She’s an international student, for some reason that thought didn’t occur to me and that would be why her English was tricky, so she arrived the day before me. While we talked a lot and it got noisier and noisier as more people came in. Suddenly, at one point I got a feeling in my head as if something in my head had suddenly gone bang and I felt light headed and unaware of things, for no reason at all. I suspected the noise had a hand in it and the fact that it was a strange place. It happens to me sometimes. I don’t worry though, I just try not to walk into anything. It’s like breathing, when I think about it I have to consciously breathe, I tell myself breathe in and out but eventually I slip back into the normal rhythm and it’s like it never happened. That’s what happened with the light headed thing, though when it happened I explained what was wrong so she wouldn’t think me rude. She asked if she’d have to worry about me fainting and I said no, I just might walk into things. We went outside and walked around. We went to the pond to look at the birds. Then walked around. She had a subject briefing at 2 but because I’m doing combined honours I’m having my briefings tomorrow. We set about finding where she should be and looking around and then where I should go tomorrow but we didn’t make it. We wandered into another college on the campus which seemed much nicer, moor woodlandy in one part, with a bigger pond, though it was green. A lady was there feeding the geese and we saw a little duck that must have been a duckling because it was small but not your typical fluffy duckling, kind of like adolescent duckling I suppose. Then she asked for my email address. I’d been considering asking how to spell her name so then I’d know it but the thought occurred to me to write my name above my email address so she’d know it was me and if she gave me her email address she might reciprocate. She did so now I have her name. She’s from Japan. I escorted her back to her briefing and then wandered around the other college again. Then I came back to my house, said hi to one of the girls and she asked what I’d been doing, I said it’d been walking around and I’d been to the other college and that they have geese there too. She said she hated geese because they chased her and asked what the other college was like, I explained a little about how it was. Then another girl came along and asked what we were talking about and the first one said about geese and how she hated them and I pointed out that I’d noticed the geese eating grass which neither of them had noticed and found just as surprising as I did. Well, I’m planning on attending the free film and pizza event at the chapel at 7 and a ‘knowing me knowing you meet and greet at the RSU at 4:30 so I guess I should be off. Since I avoided the bar I need to make an effort now and not everyone here’s so bad. With every friendly hello my confidence seems to be growing which is good. Let’s hope it’s not shattered soon though because otherwise there’s no hope for me here.
I’ll be off now.
Okay, so I didn’t go. A thought struck me that it might be for the non resident students who arrived today. I sat outside for a while, watched the squirrels and the jackdaws walking around. It was peaceful. Then I decided to go and look for a Dalek poster because they were selling posters in the neighbouring college. I had a quick look but then decided I’m not spending four whole pounds just to stick a poster in my room. At the moment I’m going to be a Scrooge until my card comes or my student loan gets sorted. I don’t want to go wasting my money for no reason, especially when I’ve not got as much as I’d like to hand.
I came back to my room, and decided to wait around until the free film and pizza. I figured that even if the film was bad the free food would make up for it. I decided the pizza would be my dinner. I figure it makes sense to get what I can at the moment. I tried making a house of cards with a free pack of cards that came in a little gift pack yesterday. I tried several times and failed so I white tacked them to my desk but I still failed. Then my floor rep knocked on my door to see how I was. I chatted to her a bit (Not as much as yesterday though) and gave her a checklist I’d had to fill in yesterday, though it was actually dad who filled it in and reminded her about the taped latch on my door frame because I was worried that it could break at any time and people could just walk in and steal my things. She saw the collection of books I’d brought, my Northern Lights etc. She asked if I liked them and I said I hadn’t read them yet. She also liked my yellow and green rubber plant that mum bought me on Friday. It’s actually fake but it looks good. I think she’s a bit worried that I’m not joining in things but I told her I was going to the film and pizza event. There was a Freshers event on at the same time but I think it was a king of clubby party like thing so I definitely chose the free food and film and besides, it would be the best place to meet others who didn’t want to go to a clubby party thing too. It took ages for them to set up the laptop because there were sound problem. They ordered the pizza, I was playing my Sudoku while I waited to I ended up lending my pen to the order. I just got out the other one and continued until I got the first one back. I started talking to some girls near me. While they were still trying to fix the sound problems we were entertained by one of the chaplains from another college. It was great. Then we ended up moving to another room with a bigger screen and built in speakers. Then the pizzas arrived. It was a bit of a rush and a squeeze to get to the pizza without getting pizza in the face from someone else who was trying to sit down. We were allowed a maximum of 3 slices, I planned to take two but ended up with three in a big slice (It was poorly cut) but the slices were quite thin. It turns out that the girl I started talking to was a bit of a Doctor Who fan, she prefers Christopher Eccleston to David Tennant. She said 9 or 10 and I had my suspicions but wanted to be sure of what she was asking. It was who I preferred. I said they both have their merits but I had to say David Tennant, seeing as he’s the current doctor, he’s been in two series while Christopher Eccleston’s only been in one, and that was about 3 years ago now. It turns out that her brother is a big fan of Doctor Who. She said she only saw the first episode of series 3 and didn’t think Martha was as good as Rose. Again, each one has their merits. The film we saw was Anchorman. It was okay, quite funny in places. Afterwards she gave me her number but I don’t remember mine yet so I gave her my email instead and got her to put her name above it so I knew who she was, in case I forgot.
Then I came back and decided to call mum but I’d had my phone off all day so I’d got two texts from dad. I called him first because I knew he’d be asleep and decided to phone him sooner rather than later. After that I spoke to mum while sorting out my internet connection. She called me back so that I wouldn’t waste the credit on my phone. We talked for ages. It’s nice to hear her voice. Oh no, I’m starting to feel a bit sad now. I miss her and I know she misses me. No. Don’t get sad. Hopefully everyone won’t be out drinking again tonight so it’ll be quieter. I can hope at least.
Well, I think that’s all for now. Thanks for sticking by me and reading all of this, all 6 pages
Bluebiird out