Shannanigan's Search for More...

Oh, how strange are the people we make our attachments with...

I've been asked not only to be the "back-up" reader of the eulogy at my step-grandmother's funeral, in case her daughter gets too emotional to finish, but also to read Psalm 23 as part of the service.

I'm absolutely honored that my stepfamily feels that I am so much a part of their family that they want me so included...but you have to look at this from my point of view. I mean, yes, yes I know I will do these things out of respect and to show my stepfamily that yes, despite never visiting them and not really knowing any of them really well that I do care about them and I do consider myself a part of the family...I have to stop and kind of chuckle at them choosing ME the LEAST religious person probably on this whole dang island, let alone the family, to read Psalm 23!

I know why they've asked me to do these things, well, I mean, besides the fact that they want me to be a part of their mourning...it's also because I'm known as the "public speaker" of the family. I've done local radio talk shows, had a few TV interviews, do a LOT of promotion speeches to UVI classes about the Writing Center and Sigma Tau Delta, read poetry at art festivals, and have been in a couple of plays. Part of my identity is the ability to stand up in front of a crowd and put some power into my voice and affect people...so I'm sure that I'm the first one that comes to mind when they think about finding someone to put up there...

I know, I know...the eulogy and Psalm 23 will not be the ONLY things that have to get read in front of the people attending the funeral...I shouldn't be assuming that they chose me because of this...but I can't help it when my little brother, 16 years old and WAY closer to my stepgrandmother than I was, hasn't been asked. Probably because he's shy and emotional...but at least ASK him if he can partake in the ceremony of saying goodbye to a woman who he truly considered a third grandmother.

I just feel odd. I'm going to do it, and thank them for letting me be invovled, and put all my heart into Psalm 23 as a beautiful poem that deserves to be read aloud with passion...but I will still feel bad that one of my biggest concerns is making sure that I can make it to my 4 o'clock class...