Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Some ******* upset my mum and it makes me angry, especially when she told me what he said. I clenched my fist so tightly it hurt, I was so angry .
Mum came home. I was upstairs when she came in and when I came down I cuddled her. I don’t normally do that until later on in the night but I felt rather happy. I like to cuddle my mum, she’s always warm and cuddly. Then I heard an irregularity in her breathing, the kind when someone’s upset, when you know they’re about to cry. I asked if she was alright and she started crying. It’s scary when my mum cries because it’s very rare and I’m all she has to turn to, unless she calls her sisters which I know happened once. I asked her what was wrong. It turns out that some guy she hardly knows, she’s only met him a couple of times and spoken to him on the phone, called her about some work thing, ordering something or something like that. He thought he’d hung up but evidently he hadn’t. What followed seems to have involved the use of the ****ing a lot, along the lines of “when ever I talk to her on the phone she always ****ing laughs” and also along the lines of, “When I heard her on the phone I thought she was small and dainty but she’s ****ing huge. When I had to go there they said have you met Margaret and I said no then I saw her and she was ****ing huge. People say she’s nice but she’s ****ing huge.” I’m not sure if that’s exactly how it went but that’s along the lines of what mum said. I didn’t want to ask her to repeat it because it upset her so much but that was along the lines of what she told me. How does my mum know all of this? Because he was talking to someone in his office (wherever that is) and hadn’t hung up the phone properly. She said something about replaying the tape because she was so shocked, or something like that so I guess she wasn’t there to answer the phone and left the message.
I was furious. I would dearly love so smack said bastard right in the gob. To quote Rose Tyler, “No one upsets my mum.”
In other news, I’ve discovered the existence of a four foot jelly baby in London via a magazine. We’re considering going to see it. It sounds like something worth seeing.

I’m out of things to say now and my glasses need cleaning again.
Bluebiird out.