Om

----Well, I have been thinking about three things recently. The first is who or what we are, and I am currently at the thesis that we are something like pure thought. Included in this is a concept a bit hard to explain, but basically boils down to the question, what is our relationship to the world? That is simple, but there's nothing more to it. The world, all the sensations we've felt since birth, and all the stimuli, in relationship to us- what is that? I was exploring this with a friend. Perhaps pleasure and pain are not good or bad, but all the stimuli we've experienced can be interpreted in a different manner, like just as facets of being alive, as things we experience because we're alive.
[INDENT]----Second, I've realized the most important thing is communication. That's basically the meaning of life for me now. We communicate best when we understand each other. And under communication is everything that writing and reading are about- everything like word choice, sentence and paragraph structure, all of that which goes into making communication easy and enjoyable, all that is important. I know we communicate outside of writing, but it seems we can go deeper with writing- at least, it's easier to understand each other. In person with speaking, misunderstandings seem to happen more, and at least to me it seems that conversations are shorter and less meaningful usually. A lot of times it's just too much effort to have a deep conversation in person. So even with people I know and are friends with in person, I like to have a writing relationship, too. So I strive to have the deepest, most honest communication I can, where both parties benefit and are understood. Every word means something, and it's true we can build each other up instead of taking each other down...[/INDENT]
----Third, I've been thinking about my past experiences, what I feel, and what I think about the world. I mean, who and what a person is is often difficult to communicate. Artists do it from their art, and even then it is often difficult. A writer tells it by his works, but then so many of them fall short and are not worth reading. Because when we educate ourselves by reading books, we go through miles of text, but the world comes at us all at once, and it is in constant change. And a person is like that too. How do I express what I really think about me and others? Often I am not able to.
[indent]--All my life it's been, well, I dunno, good and bad, lol...but there are places I visit, in my dreams and fantasies, that to me mark who I am better than anything. On one hand it is having a crush and feeling optimistic. On another hand it is seeking solitude and peace. Always it is a faraway place, where things are perfect. Usually it is in a forest or somewhere near, other times perhaps it is a desert. Perhaps I am only visiting this planet from another one. Perhaps we are an experiment. The kind of place I would like to live is one where it's a more natural community, I'd kind of like to see the changes take place that transform the land. Change a forest into a town, or something like that. I just wish they could have been warned! Don't go so far! But we're still going. Anyway I have these dreams which I feel are my translating what I sense into reality. These fantasies are reality for me, and to understand me you have to understand this. In the world I've lived in, there's all of the Buddhist realms...heaven, human, ghost, hell, animal, and...um...I dunno which the sixth is. I guess the dream worlds are like; everything is a construct and we move around inside these, and they manifest themselves as different feelings and realities or fantasies to me. So as I write and read and exchange, I am traversing a world of language where each word has a meaning and feeling, and this is just like the fantasies in my mind where each place has a meaning and a feeling, and I can go from one to another as I please.[/indent]