Shannanigan's Search for More...

One day I laid in bed, thinking of what to do with my free time, and I though to myself "I should really take up writing again. That was good times...I felt so stimulated and intelligent...I felt like I could do anything, be anyone and anywhere. It would be cool to get back into that."

And yet, instead I picked up a book, to be somebody from somebody else's world. And it was still good, and still fun.

Years have passed since that night, and I have yet to "get back into" writing. I am constantly telling myself that I will, one day, but tonight as I sit in gratitude at having an hour of spare time before class, I really think to myself "If I don't start writing again NOW, then when the hell am I ever going to?" It's not like I'm going to get any less busy over time. I say to myself "once I get out of college, I'll start again," but what am I thinking? Do I honestly believe that TEACHING will allow me more time than being a college student? Yeah, right!

If teaching is as time-consuming as it seems to be, I'll have way less time, and it will be that way until I retire...so what, am I to wait until I retire to start writing again? Hell no I am not waiting that long! But then again, I probably would have thought that if I had told myself 4 years ago that I still wouldn't be writing 4 years from then...

The point of all this is, is that I need to stop thinking so freakin far ahead and start focusing on the NOW. I've spent so much time writing up my paradigm, studying certification requirements for teachers, and reading books on how to manage a classroom that I have forgotten about all those nights I spent dreaming of how fun it would be to be a college student, young and free from parents and allowed to do whatever I allow myself to do!

Right now, I have not been allowing myself to write...and I mean, REALLY WRITE...and I need to force myself to take the time to do that. NOW!