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Graduate School

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by
Countess
, 08-30-2007 at 12:50 PM (1855 Views)
Okay, in light of my recent failure to pass the English Cert exam, my parents have volunteered to send me to graduate school in English Lit. I credit my brother for paving the way. If I had told them my dreams of going to school for my masters, they would have said "that's nice" or "where are you going to get the money" or "you can't get a job with a masters. What are you going to do?" They are about as supportive of my passion and writing as Hillary Clinton would be of a new Republican president or Baraka winning the Democratic Primary. BUT, when it comes from my brother's mouth, it is the Voice of God speaking in the Wilderness, because he's a pastor and all.

ASIDE: in similiar situations, most people would resent, despise or envy their brother, but honestly, I just don't. I love my brother, and I don't blame him for being the favorite or being the recipient of some of their more valuable possessions in their will. It's not his fault he's loved more and because I am completely anti-materialistic (I'm almost communistic in this way), it doesn't bother me. I'm devoid of a sense-of-entitlement.

BUT, there are problems I foresee (I have a PHD in foreseeing future complications and predicting catastrophe. Along with 100% accuracy about myself, I am about 95% accurate in foreseeing problems.)

ISSUES

1. My son. He cannot live with me while I go to school AND work (I will have to support myself.) Dad proposed he live with my brother in Kentucky. That's fine except my son's father might be a problem. (My parents had not anticipated the legal issues, which I spelled out to them). IF my son's father wants Jordan to live with him, his legal claim on my child is greater than my brother's legal claim on him. My parents proposed my brother adopt my son - then Jordan could reap all the benefits of my brother's family, including medical insurance, etc. This would solve the problem, BUT - it's hard, even knowing it's the best choice, to avocate my rights to my child. IF Jordan's father fights this and brings it to court to get custody, it could get very ugly, and no one will care what I have to say, since I am no longer "the mother".

2. I need to take the GRE - me, who can't pass a teacher's certification test (which, btw, had 3 English questions and 52 teaching questions).
How in the Sam Hill am I going to relearn math?

3. I need three teacher recommendations - assuming all of my teachers aren't dead by now. That's not going to be easy, seeing as they're all in NC and may no longer even be at the college. That is also assuming they even remember me, and if they do, remember me fondly (I was a complete suicidal mess in college, so that makes me nervous).

4. I need to submit a 2500 word literary analysis essay because, you know, in my spare time when I've nothing to do I enjoy writing theses for fun. Oh, just makes me feel warm and tingly all over. I guess I'll just have to choose a book and write something for a grade. I'm reading Wharton's "The Age of Innocence" but don't feel like writing an essay on New York society, although it does tie in nicely with Fitzgerald's "The Beautiful and the Damned", and I could probably pull from Fitsy to sound well-read.

5. I need a job where I can go to school.

6. I need a place to live where I can afford to eat, pay utilities and rent.

7. I need a storage place for all my furniture since I will need to live small.

7. I need to continue my medication.

I'm sure there's a host of other details I haven't considered, but these are the main ones.

Not much to tackle or think about, huh? For some reason working 2-11 at Walmart sounds so much easier...
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Comments

  1. mtpspur's Avatar
    Been off the computer a bit due to the hard drive dying so I'm catching up with you. I know rom my son's experience with custody and all that it's very tricky. The trail coming up soon and I personally see no end to this mess yet. Here in Ohio it seems to be based on who makes the most money -- not necessarily who provides the most valid emotional/spiritual/physical support.

    Storage units up here run about $50 a month for a good size unit.

    Kudo to your brother--trying to help out. Parents are a major issue for me -- they never felt obligated to help in any way after we kids left the roost -- and I never asked.

    Thinking, praying for you.
  2. Niamh's Avatar
    Dont you dare take the easy way out!!!!!!! You have to do this for yourself countess! For your son also! Stop thinking of all the things that need to be done and start thinging of what doing this could mean for you as a writer! Dont give up countess! I'm sending you as much Irish luck as i can possibly give, and i'm robbing the rest from the other 4million people in my country. Thats a lot of luck! Do us all proud countess! (and stop putting yourself down!!!!) You can do it!!!!
  3. andave_ya's Avatar
    Countess, school would be terrific! Huh, if you know anything, you know English lit. Whenever I read anything you've written I get so tantalized because there are so many obvious and not so obvious references to literature I haven't read yet. Show your professor your "Ecomium;" he'll give you your degree on the spot. Math isn't my favorite or best subject either, but it IS doable. What about scholarships? Crank out an essay and you might get a full scholarship~dorm, food, and all (just don't tear yourself down if you don't get it). Cheers, Andave.
  4. Shalot's Avatar
    The way you've got it listed there, it seems like a lot to overcome. Assuming things work out with the job and the custody situation, then I completely understand your worries about the GRE. I have a GRE study guide and the math part of it made me nauseated. in fact, right now I am taking the second part of a calculus prep class because i need calculus to progress in the major (provided I get accepted into the program).

    it is so hard to find time to do all that needs to be done. Good luck. I will be sending positive thoughts your way.
  5. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Countess, it was good to read that your family is rallying behind you to see that you pave a better future for yourself. The bumps in the highway to the future, however, left me scratching my head for advice ... I guess all I can say is that where there is a will, there is a way, and Niamh's sending you all the luck in Ireland is a great start. I shall be thinking of you (as I often do), and sending you good vibes from me, the Kiz_paws of LitNet! Take care and keep us posted, eh?
  6. 's Avatar
    Countess, congratulations on thinking forward and upward! Please don't veer away from that path, and don't take the easy way out by avoiding it. Where there is a will there is a way -- even if it is different from the way you now imagine -- and the benefit will be enormous. Above all, please don't sever the legal bond with your child voluntarily or under any circumstances. Your regret will be enormous in the long run. Second, don't think about storage. Storage sops up money and you may be living small for quite a while; plans change. Consider letting the surplus furniture go and saving the storage money. That's difficult, but furnishings can always be replaced. Money is harder to come by -- as if I needed to say that. For the rest, take a deep breath and go at it in an organized way. Try not to think of the size of the mountain all at once; think always of the eventual view from the top. You are doing this for yourself, not anyone else, and you care more than anyone; so go to it! No one else will do it for you. Plus, Rome wasn't built in a day, so don't beat yourself up if you need to make adjustments in your plan, as long as you always have a plan.
    And after all that, let me say we have seen your talent here, so there we know you are in good shape and that should carry you through many of the hurdles.
    Best of wishes; all my prayers go with you. Keep us posted on your progress.
  7. applepie's Avatar
    I've been mostly missing for the week, so I'm just getting to this. It sounds like a lot to overcome Countess, but think of ways to make it happen rather than things that can prevent it. It is amazing what a positive outlook can do. For custody, look into the awarding of temporary guardianship or temporary custody. It should have less legal issues, plus it will terminate at a specific date, I think. You may also be eligible for some different scholarships and grants. From what I understand of your situation you are likely eligible for federal aid with your school, and there may also be some aid to help with childcare. Many schools have on-site childcare. I don't know the situation with your son's father, but you may be able to work out a shared parenting agreement which will ease your burden some. I wish you luck Countess. Keep your head up, and I'm sure you will find solutions to your obstacles. Take Care ~Meg~
  8. Granny5's Avatar
    You're going to graduate school! That's great news. You'll work everything out and it will be a successful adventure. Don't make it harder than it is going to be. And don't give up your legal rights to your son. If he has to stay with your brother or his father a while, that's ok. He'll be fine as long as he knows his mother is coming back to make a better life. You'll do great. I've very proud of you.