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Marriage ups and downs

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I've been married for just over 33 years. It was the best thing I've ever done in my life. I guess I could say that having my children was the best, but without my partner, that wouldn't have happened. Actually, I don't believe that anything good would have happened. He's made it possible to have the life I have.
Now, that doesn't mean that we haven't had our ups and downs. The first few years, maybe 15!, we had a lot of downs. But the ups have always outweighted the downs. We used to fight alot, some real doozies, but the fights always ended well. I think it was one of the ways we got to know each other and work out our problems. Problems that seem so childish now.
We've basically raised each other. I take credit for making him the man he is because he had to become that man in order to raise me.
This I know, he has always had my best interest and the best interest of our family in mind when making any and all decissions. He gave up advancements in his first career field because of me and our children. When he could have advanced to bigger and better things in broadcasting, he considered what effect it would have on his family. Then he turned them down to move back to our home state and raise them the way we were raised, in a small town without the worries that big city life brings.
There has never been a time or incident in the past 33 years that I didn't know that if I called him, he would come in a minute, no matter how small the incident was or how important the thing he was doing was. From splinters that I just can't make myself to remove, to real emergencies, he would run home and take care of whatever needed to be taken care of.
When we married, I don't think either one of us thought that if it didn't work out, we'd just call it quits. We just took it for granted that we were together for life. Divorce and separation has been threaten but I don't think either ever took it seriously. We have to see each other, talk to each other, every day. He is the reason I can feel pretty or sexy or smart. Now, I know myself and I know my abilities, but without him, what's the point. If he thought I was less than I am, I wouldn't be happy with myself.
Together we have raised three intelligent, beautiful adults. They have made a life for themselves. They've made mistakes and have always known that mistakes didn't matter, it was how they handled the mistakes that mattered.
They know that we are there for them, no matter what. They all tell us they love us and they all still hold our hands in public and give us kisses when they are with us. They know they are loved by their mom and dad and that is the our true success as parents.
But, I believe that my husband could have raised such great children on his own, and I think he believes that I could have as well. But together, we are awesome. We can do anything and do it better.
We have put up with each others in-laws and over the years they have become "our" family, instead of his and mine. We have supported each other through the loss of parents and friends. We have held each other up when we couldn't stand on our own. I know what it feels like to almost lose him. His heart attack and bypass was the most alone I've been in over 33 years, even though I had all my children with me and my son-in-law was there to hold me up, I was totally alone because my husband wasn't with me to make me know it would be alright. It is something I never want to experience again.
This is the man I married. This is the life he's given me. And I appreciate him and what he has given up to keep me happy. Of course I say all this during a "up" time.
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  1. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I love you guys! I really do. Now I want to tell about chilly and holly being left at the grocery store and the plastic inchworm and the banana popsicles and all of that. We do have a wonderful family.
  2. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Granny, you are soooo sweet. I think that the two of you were definitely meant to happen, and that there is something to be said of Soul Mates. Thanks for this warm tribute to marriage.
  3. Granny5's Avatar
    Chilly and Holly are a totally different story! And Inch Worm still causes my back to hurt. But you were worth it most of the time MH.
  4. mtpspur's Avatar
    Congratulations for what must be a very blessed marriage. Sounds like you and your soul mate had the priorities in order. Rich
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Reminds me of my marriage. Yeah we fight, but we love each other. We've been married sixteen years.