The Nation of the Glorious Turnip

Or, the slightly longer title: Top 10 planets that feature enough indigenous life to be considered a floating blop of particles that all operate semi-independently with a common goal to drop goo on random passer-by spaceships.

10. Obdol the Abdal, the flying space planet that cannot stand still when rotating the star it orbits.
Why it made the list: The indigenous life on this planet has the tendency to drop goo on random passerby spaceships. It might be because it’s a largely avian population, but it is generally considered that it has to do with a bar on Detroit, where a man called Bob once bragged that birds never drop anything on him. Coincidentally, he passed out drunk and was found floating in a spaceship near Obdol the Abdal. The spaceship was perfectly clean, Bob was not, and from then on, Bob did no longer brag about his clean status.

9. Abdal the Obdol, the bored planet that is known to burp when drinking too much space juice.
Why it made the list: It’s name is very similar to Obdol the Abdal, and the writer of this top 10 list made a mistake and confused the two planets. Abdal the Obdol is actually an otherwisee unremarkable planet that is populated entirely by Bob.

8. Fruitbasket, tThe planet shaped like a giant milkcarton, who wished he was a meteorite shaped like an asteroid.
Why it made the list: The lifeforms that inhabit this planet are called Fruitflies. These Omi-pedal creatures measure 10 apples in length and weigh about 15 standard fruit units. What makes this life form so remarkable is that it executes the common goal to drop goo on passer-by spaceships by using a complex network of banana shaped satellites that shoot goo at near lightspeed towards incoming spaceships.

2. Number two, the planet that always end up being number two on any top 10 list.
Why it made the list: This would not be a top 10 list without planet number two.

6. Black and White, the planet that does everything in black and white.
Why it made the list: This planet is exactly the same as planet Fruitbasket, except that it does it all in black and white.

5. Bob, Bob wasn’t originally a planet, but because Bob is so common, he became a planet to be different from the other Bob’s in the universe.
Why he made the list: Bob may be a planet, but it still has the anatomy of a humanoid, and all humanoids have the capacity to drop goo. Bob also has a thriving biotope on his almost bald surface.

4. Obdol the Abdal, The twin of Obdol the Abdal, but does everything just a bit better
Why it made the list: Unlike Obdol the Abdal, Obdol the Abdal does things on a grand scale, and is more like a big Obdol the Abdal, than Obdol the Abdal could ever be. It has to be said however, that Bob was never found floating in a spaceship near Obdol the Abdal. If he was, it would be an impossibility. The universe would have been paused to remove Obdol the Abdal from existence to preserve the universal law of illegal similarity in occurrences as formulated by Bob the formulator.

3. Goo Thrower’s Planet, where Goo Throwers rule with an iron goo thrower device capable of throwing lots of goo at other goo worthy species of goo throwers and receivers.
Why it made the list: Although this might be surprise, but Goo Thrower’s Planet was almost number one on the list because it bears a striking resemblance to John, of Bob impersonation fame. This made it such a clear choice for the list, that all other deciding factors were ignored and the planet was automatically awarded the number three spot.
Why it isn’t number one: See the number one.


And there we have it, the top 10 list of planets that feature enough indigenous life to be considered a floating blop of particles that all operate semi-independently with a common goal to drop goo on random passer-by spaceships.

Next time: The top 10 boring conversations people can have with Bob. Stay tuned!