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Party Synopsis

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by
Countess
, 07-14-2007 at 11:54 AM (1912 Views)
I went to a "novelty" party last night - I was invited by the lesbian at work - hoping to be shocked alive via this dopamine shot to the heart. Instead, I met with drunk people singing bad Kareoke (all Kareoke is bad, IMHO, even with good singers, and there were several there last night) and a host who introduced himself twice because apparently I did not make any impression upon him the first time (which was only about 20 minutes before the second one). Given there were about 25 people there and I was the only woman with flaming red hair and all black clothes, I was surprised. I guess next time I will wear a clown wig - maybe that would set me apart.

Most people seemed blissfully unaware of my presence, and when anyone noticed me, it was only in reference to my muscles. I was the freak with muscles.

I noticed a Hardy and Milton book standing on a hall table and thought (for a moment) I might make conversation with the owners on those two volumes, but quickly discovered (after they chuckled) that said volumes were really cleverly disguised picture boxes.

I sat out in the hottub for about 15 minutes with 3 women who did not so
much as glance at me when they talked (I consider it polite to look at everyone when speaking, to include them via body language) and they didn't even know each other.

At about 1:45 I discretely put on my shoes and slipped silently out the door.

I guess it doesn't matter where I go - I am always alone.

(Hence a poem I wrote at 16: "All alone in a roomful of people; I feel so happy I could die (something, something, something) isolated from the world by her soul.")
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Comments

  1. andave_ya's Avatar
    yeah, I feel like that too. Sitting with a bunch of people all talking together and politely ignoring the bookish geek in the corner. With so many people and still all alone.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Pretty much summed up my presence at parties which I'm bored at within 5 minutes. Just never a great one for groups.
  3. applepie's Avatar
    I generaly feel the same way at parties, and I'm sorry you didn't have a good time. I just remind myself that I'm not alone because I'm different, I'm unique and that sets me apart. Cold comfort when you are trying to fit into a group, but it helps sometimes. I avoid parties for this exact reason. I can't stand being reminded of the fact that I'm a bit of an oddity by strange glances and people who are talking around me but never too me.
  4. Captain Pike's Avatar
    I think some guys just think all they have to do is say "hello there, I'm so-and-so, what your name?", and stuff just starts happening. Right? You probably draw more fire than you think... some people don't know what to do with someone that might be attractive and have two brain cells to rub together! Anyway, parties are almost always more fun than staying home. Just like Rembrandt, you need characters
  5. Bakiryu's Avatar
    I sympathize with you. I hate parties. But yet I get invited to them by my idiotic family members. It's annoying. But then, sometimes Is better to be alone, than badly accompanied
  6. GrayFoxDown's Avatar
    Countess, have you ever considered that you're going to the WRONG parties because you have the WRONG friends or connections? The reason you feel alone may be that you're constantly trying to fit into other people's worlds rather than have them fit into yours. I'm CERTAINLY NOT a dewy-eyed optimist, but life is better (or should be better) than you believe. Maybe it's because I've learned to expect the worst, whatever comes around that merely touches on the best is all the more treasured by me; but I won't go crazy trying to find these things.
  7. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Hmmmm ... what gem of wisdom may I offer? Well, as one who is usually the "Barbie on the end of a Ken doll" at ALL my hubby's lofty parties, what can I say? I just smile pretty and go with the proverbial flow. I hate parties. (but do not mind the food or beverages offered, since I am there afterall...). But yah, everyone is usually plastic (where I have to tread). I am more of a nature lover, animal nut, bookish writer-at-heart, who plays wicked piano. Not wanted in my hubby's world. (Don't get the wrong idea, he and I click, it is just those damn parties...). Hang in there, you will be invited to the biggest party on the globe when I win the lottery and invite all my LitNet friends to the bash of the century.... In the meantime, I keep threatening my hubby that I shall INDEED grab the karaoke mike and really do a number...
  8. GrayFoxDown's Avatar
    Countess (Tanya), what's the long and short of all this? Do you plan to kill yourself (by intent or by neglect)? The ones you speak of (from how you describe them) will continue "floating blissfully" all over the place...their bliss now completely undisturbed now that you're out of the way. But I'll miss you very, very much because I've grown to like you very, very much. If you could attract my admiration (a stranger to you, from the wilds of NYC), you could attract the admiration of others (worthy to be your friends) in the real world of your day to day existence...it's there if you want it. I know it's not easy...it takes every effort of mind and spirit to actually believe that you're indeed an integral part of this brief moment called Life; but you are truly an integral part of many of us.

    Your Friend,
    Michael
  9. motherhubbard's Avatar
    It's hard for me to believe you didn't make an impression! But I have to ask, did you want to fit in with the people at the party? You are unique and different and brilliant and wonderful. The down side of that is often being alone and most alone in a crowd.