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Those Days

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by
Mortis Anarchy
, 07-15-2007 at 12:33 AM (1230 Views)
Ever have one of those days, the ones that leave you empty and kind of lost?

Well thats me. I don't know why...okay I lied, I do. I don't like listening to people when they are drunk...or angry. It doesn't make any sense and it just hurts my feelings, because sometimes its coming from a place that is purely honest. If that makes any sense. When you hear from a person that you care about that you take everything for granted, that you don't fight, that you aren't doing anything...that just hurts. I'm already stressed out about so many things...even if I don't show it. I'm rather laid back...take things as they come, yet I am productive. I have goals...I'm not passive, I'm a fighter. But I know when to pick my fights. I'm not stupid, but I'm not a genius. What is a genius anyways? Who decides who gets to be a genius and who gets to be a dummy??

I'm obviously ranting, but I don't care. I've just got to let it all out, cause if I don't, I think I will explode. Literally explode. or implode...whatever, both sound painful.

I'm tired of having to live to the standards of other people. Sure I'm a bit different, a bit browner, a bit more vocal about my beliefs, a bit different...who cares! Goodness, I've got to do something. I'm tired. Well, I don't know what to say.

I'm quitting my job. Its annoying and mundane.
I want a job that makes me happy...Makes ME happy.

I'm tired of a lot of things. And I bet a lot of you guys are too.

sorry its a tad depressing...

-ana
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Comments

  1. Virgil's Avatar
    Let's be grateful that all days aren't like that. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Must admit during the Air Force days you find out in a hurry what a drunk person thinks of you. Alcohol has an enormous power to remove the inhibitions and let the deep rooted poisons out. It can also be a mirror to guide you by if used with discretion. I once read a story or some such that with two people the first one that loses their temper is the wrong one. Not always sure that's true. The Bible allows a degree of righteous anger--rule of thumb there--fight for the glory of God--ignore fighting for your own glory--it will be ashes by and by and not worth the care. You sound a lot like me in the my younger days--wanting to be my own person but way too concerned with what others thought of me--still do to a lesser degree these days. Try to relax and remmeber you have nothing to 'prove' to anyone but yourself (and God is a believer). With respect Rich freely admitting that No I don't know (for sure) how you feel but I do have ideas about it. My son says I'm very opininated. To which I have always replied "What's wrong with that?" Better then having no convictions at all. Hope this helps and yes I'm rambling--it's my thing.
  3. Countess's Avatar
    I understand how you feel. Unfortunately, you don't want to hear what life has taught me, so I'll just say I really wish you all the best, and you should try: everyone I have encouraged to improve their circumstances has been successful - so as far as that goes, I do believe you will find a better place.
  4. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I hope that you find a job that makes you feel happier, Ana. And hang in there, we all have bad days. Blogging helps to release what is inside, so feel free! Thinking of you, Kizzo