Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Well, Tom set off today. I'm not sure if he's there yet or not, probably not. I haven't really thought about it all day and now I'm writing it, I feel depressed. I said I wouldn't let it bother me and I won't. It's not like I have some sort of claim on Tom.
Now I think I’ll tell you some of our history, then you can decide for yourselves if I'm selfish and jealous or not .
Tom and I have been friends for a long time (Since I started having packed lunches in year eight at school; I'm now in year 14 so you can work it out). He made me laugh, though he later told me that he did that because he wanted me to feed him (He had very small packed lunches, I had considerably larger ones). So I started giving him roughly half of my lunch, excluding the sandwiches because he had his own. We stayed friends at school until year 11 and then he moved to college but we stayed friends, visiting each other's houses every Saturday. I grew to trust him (And it takes an awful lot for me to trust people these days). It's sad to say, but he's my only friend.
Some time over this passed year he came under the impression that we were some sort of item, probably because we'd become such close friends and we told each other very personal things.
As far as I was aware, we were just friends but he began to think differently. After I became aware of this change I decided to try and go with it as best as I could because I was afraid I'd lose the only friend I had. The only trouble was that I felt trapped and I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
Before things got too far I had to tell him that I couldn't handle it and I only saw him as a friend. He didn't seem that bothered. He had made it quite clear that he only showed an interest because it wasn't likely that any other female (Who wasn't family) would come along. Shortly after, I find that he's conversing with this Alison girl via the internet. The trouble is he's never been the same with me since. At first I didn't want to know the details and appeared rather jealous (I don't think it was jealousy, I just didn't want to know about her). Eventually I decided to accept hearing abut her and try to sound neutral on the subject. Lately I've tried to imply that I am interested; I want to know if he succeeds in his plans or not. you see, he later told me that he was going over to see her purely with the intention of sleeping with her. What makes matters even more interesting is that he tells me that she is "experienced" while the only activity he has is testing out his contraceptive devices and looking at cartoon pornography.
(If any of this is deemed too detailed or any of the terms are deemed inappropriate for some Online Lit. members please notify me and I will change or erase them.)
So, now you know the story. (And now you know why I'm incorporating it into a book too .)