Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

(Alternative title: Blogmas Day 1. Seems too trendy for me though. You know how people do vlogmas, a vlog every day of December? Like I said. Too trendy.)

A wreath.

Yes. I’m doing it again.
Why?
Well. If you were around here in the early days you’d know that I used to write a blog every day to detail what I got in my advent calendar. And as I got older it seemed silly so I gave up on advent calendars.
But I’m going to be 30 next year and it bothers me and doesn’t bother me at the same time.
I don’t have any kind of list of things I want to do before I turn 30 but I feel like I should mark it in some way. I do feel like there are some things that I should and/or shouldn’t be doing at this age but I don’t see it as the end of the world. But I do see it as another step closer to death and get depressed thinking about where I should be in my life and how far from that I am. So I have mixed feelings about turning 30.

This won’t be the same as it used to be. I was at school then and I had anxiety but I also had hopes and dreams that seemed achievable and I actually got up in the mornings so opening my advent calendar and then writing about it when I had the chance gave me something to look forward to.

Anyway. I figured I might get to kill two birds with one stone with this. Well, maybe a few birds.
Firstly it might give me something to look forward to every day. Struggling with that at the moment, even though I have a lovely dog to wake up for but she prefers to be on her own and doesn’t like me messing with her too much. She’s more like a cat than a dog.
Secondly I feel like I’m missing something inside myself. I have fond memories of writing my earlier blogs. I used to write all the time, just in general, because I had nothing else to do at school (that’s the only reason I did it so much, staving off boredom) but now I have nothing but free time, which is really nice and I’m not complaining, but when you have no obligations then you start getting lazy. I have all the time necessary to write, even if it’s rubbish, but I just don’t do it. Even if I’m not doing anything else I still don’t feel like writing. Si maybe writing this every day will give me a little kick.
Additionally I have a bunch of events I’ve been meaning to write up since last Christmas I think and if I don’t do it then I’ll forget. I’ve already forgotten practically everything I thought was important to remember at the time. Because my diary is only for key information I can’t wander off like I do here and keep certain little fun things filed away for future reference. You know I the main reason I blog is to supplement my memory, which is subject to ware as all brains and therefore memories are. Like when I’m old and I see my little cousins all grown up I can say Oh I remember that time you did this it was really funny (like old relatives do) and make them squirm with embarrassment *evil grin* That’s one thing I think will be quite fun when I’m older. So because I like to put in more than a couple of lines in a blog, otherwise what’s the point, then I might write those thing up.
I did write some other stuff here but I changed my mind. If it bugs me later then maybe I’ll include it but maybe not. So that’s enough for now.