Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

(Alternative title: Rogue Traders Part 2)

So about this point is where I arrived on the scene. He’s asked for Napoleon’s number so that he can try to talk to him about this important work that needs to be done, since mum hasn’t gotten through. He doesn’t know that Napoleon is a builder or who he is in relation to us, but husband or some trusted/authoritative kind of figure would be the obvious guess. So I’m there just as she gives him Napoleon’s phone number and I’m thinking what the hell are you doing. He’s going to be mad at you for that. Why are you giving his number to some random stranger who sounds shifty just because of his overly polite pushiness? But because he’s right there I can’t actually say anything. So he goes away and I get some information.
Mum doesn’t trust him either but because he’s so persistent it’s come to this. She’d just told him that Napoleon was someone she needed to talk to about this before doing anything. I feel like we need to do something about this. I’ll call Napoleon. Maybe he’ll answer for me. But damn it. My battery’s dead. Well of course. It’s a Monday. I never check my phone on the weekends because only Napoleon ever texts me with a weather report during the working week. So I charge that. But that takes forever.
So the guy’s back. He spoke to Napoleon and he said it needed doing and he offered to knock down the price. At this point mum gives the line that she should have given when this whole thing started. That her husband is a builder. If only she’d said that to begin with. Now the slippery guy makes his retreat. Him and his buddy get their ladder down and up onto their van.
These people must be con men. I should take their picture or film them. But my phone is still dead. Ah. Mum’s camera. Yes. No. She still hasn’t charged it. The battery is dead. How many times did I tell her to charge it? But no. She wouldn’t do it.
I watched them from the window as the phone rang. It was Napoleon wanting to know what was going on so mum tells him while I’m keeping track of the slippery guys and trying to get a picture. I decided to use my DS but I knew it wouldn’t come out very well. It’s not meant for this kind of thing. I have a shot of half of the van over the hedge and one guy on top with his back to me. No help at all. If only my phone or the camera had been charged.

So. Napoleon will be round shortly to see what’s wrong. Mum mentioned half an hour but maybe I was mistaken about that. She still hasn’t taken the dog out yet and neither of us have had breakfast and I’m in a thoroughly foul mood. If Napoleon’s coming round then we should tidy up. Oh but because I cleared out the freezer the other week (maybe I’ll detail that later, this is already too long) and even though the bin men have been the outside bin still stinks so she decides to clean it. Really? Of all the things we should do you decided to do that. In retrospect it was a good move. Oh but now I’m left to deal with everything else while she takes the dog out. She tells me that they’ll probably be back before Napoleon arrives. Hahahahahha. I highly doubt it and I was right.

Before she left she called the neighbour across the road to see if she could see what had been done to the roof, because she has a second floor so she has the perfect vantage point. But she didn’t answer. While mum was out and Napoleon was on the roof she called us back and I told her the story as I knew it, things had unfolded since then.

After a while I give up on trying to make the inside of the house presentable. Relax a little. Eat that last tiny ice cream sandwich from three weeks ago. It needs to be get rid of since the freezer still turns off and on again at will. But I can’t really relax for long. What the hell is going on here. Why is our next door neighbour always having things done? She had her guttering done a couple of years ago, shouldn’t they have fixed her roof then? I remember it because they asked if they could put their ladder outside out house, because our housed are joined. What were these guys today actually doing on her roof? And why did she get these suspicious guys in. They must be family or family friends. How else did she pick them? They don’t even have a website. I know I looked.
Like I said. I wouldn’t name the company but I’ll tell you this. It’s a name that sounds very generic and like a dozen small independent companies could have that name. So I looked them up. There’s one of the same name in Bournemouth, Plymouth, London Bridge and Liverpool, and that’s just the ones I could find after a quick google/Yell search. Needless to say none of those companies are this one or even anywhere near us. They don’t have a website or address. There is a landline and a mobile number (none of which match those from internet searches) and their email address is with Yahoo. Do proper companies even use Yahoo? Who uses Yahoo anymore? My account seems to have been closed. No surprise. I haven’t used it since I left school. I think it was last used in my first year at Uni during which time I moved more to my Hotmail. The only reason I had Yahoo in the first place was because the school internet didn’t block it, like they did Hotmail, so I could use it for school work.

So. I’m waiting for Napoleon and I can’t really settle down. Maybe I should go outside and have a look for myself. I might see any damage from the street. Ah. But I don’t want to go outside.
Well. I didn’t. Until I saw my next door neighbour pull up in her little mobility scooter. It’s a recent addition. They had to have a ramp fitter for it a couple of years ago. I’ll go look at the roof and give her a subtle piece of my mind. I’m still in a foul mood after all and this basically is her fault for hiring these guys. She’s just gone inside as I put my hood on and go out but the scooter’s outside so she’ll be back. I have to go across the street to see the roof. A notch has been taken out of it in the form of two/three ridge tiles (the ones that go along the top, if you have a pointed roof). Wow. It’s actually noticeable. And it’s cloudy today. I’m expecting rain. So as I’m heading back in she’s come out. She say’s hello in the way that neighbours who don’t actually know you still say hello to be polite. To be honest I can’t remember if I actually said hello back or, if I did, whether it was actually audible or not. I knew I would never be overly mean to her or have a go at her for her shoddy builders. I’d just make a little statement like your builders have taken tiles off our roof but with my grumpy tone. I’m not sure if those were my actual words or not but something like it.
She responded rather curtly that these old housed need a lot of work for maintenance. I went inside. Really? You hired cowboys and that’s what you’re going with? I know my house looked like a dump but still. You don’t have to point it out. Just because we don’t have work done every couple of years, or ever for that matter.
Before you get mad at her I’ll just tell you now. It’s not actually her fault at all. I won’t spoil it completely but just don’t be mad at her now.