Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

(Alternative title: Rogue Traders part 1)

So. We’ve had a bit of a to-do.
After my last blog I’ve been wondering how to start a new one. Do I acknowledge the last one and comments or not or what. Well/ I’ll decide that another time because this story now takes precedent.
You know those things you hear of but have never encountered and you think you’re too smart to be caught out, or possibly have been in that situation but haven’t realised but it all worked out anyway because they realised you were too stupid to get what they wanted so left you alone.
What am I talking about?
Rogue traders.
Cowboys.
Conmen.
Whatever you call them in your neck of the woods.
Now. Those of you who know, which would only be those who have followed me for a long time or at some point bothered to catch up (it’s okay if you haven’t. I wouldn’t expect anyone to trawl through years’ worth of whining rambling insanity), my dad, whom I call Napoleon, the reason as to why is not relevant now, is a builder. Has been since forever, as far as I am concerned.
When he left school he didn’t want to work in an office and preferred to be outside so trained as a builder, more specifically bricklayer but he’s picked up a greater wealth of building experience over his long career.

So. Even though he doesn’t live here anymore, although my parents aren’t actually divorced or legally separated but oh well (I’m filling in details for those who haven’t been following me for years and years.) Even though he doesn’t actually live here anymore and we haven’t always gotten on (although things have rather improved a bit in recent years, which is kind of nice. It’s not great. But it’s tolerable. I don’t dread the thought of him dropping in to collect his post now, provided he gives me at least one day of notice).
Anyway. If something breaks. We…well I (because it seems that dealing with him is mostly my job now) call him and he either gives advice on fixing it or getting someone to fix it, tells me it’s not important so don’t worry about it and maybe he’ll deal with it when he visits next (providing he remembers since many many months go by before any post worth collecting arrives) or he comes round to fix it maybe in half an hour maybe a day or three weeks or whatever, depending on the issue and where he is at the time and whether or not he has a job.
But basically if there’s anything wrong with the house then we don’t need to call in a tradesman because one just so happens to still own half of this house and he’d never let just anyone “fix” anything.
My nails have grown too long. Typing is uncomfortable. Also I think another wisdom tooth is getting ready to break the surface. The first one has already completely broken the surface and is now waiting for it’s counterpart to do the same. I can feel it under the gum, it’s not ready yet. But it’s buddy on the other side feels like it might make an appearance soon.

But I digress.
So. Today. Well. First some context.
It’s been pretty hot lately. So I have my window open, which is very rare for me because I fear bugs and always entertain the idea that burglars, murders and/or rapists could get in, even though it’s be pretty difficult to get into my room, since our garden is far from friendly and my room is upstairs. Although there wat that thief who ran through from an neighbour’s a few years ago. But the garden is severely overgrown right now. I haven’t really been out there since it got so hot and I got bitten by something, possibly a mosquito. I’ve never been bitten by one that I knew of before.

I’ve cut my nails now. That’s so much better. So where were we?

Oh yeah. So It’s been pretty hot lately so I opened my window. I put some netting over it to keep the bugs out. It seems to have done a good job so far, but it has to be open all of the time because I can’t close it very easily with the netting there, not without ripping off the tape I stuck it on with.
On top of that I also got a sore throat shortly after. I think it was actually bacterial rather than viral because the sun was heating up the bathroom and therefore the contents of the bathroom, including the very full bin. Ordinarily this wouldn’t be a problem but when there’s blood in the bin then it’s a different matter entirely. It was not a pleasant smell. I figured it was either that or the toilet, since I’d been using it a bit more and having a lot of paper to flush.
Now if you find these factors somewhat confusing then take into account that, as far as we know, I am a perfectly functioning 28-year-old woman and figure it out.
I worried that a pipe had clogged or something but it still flushed fine. I emptied the bin and if that didn’t solve it then I’d have to call Napoleon. Well. The unpleasant smell went away once I’d done that, so it was the bin fill of blood after all. I exaggerate. It wasn’t “full” of blood.
But I worry that’s why I got a sore throat. I remember the last time I worked with Napoleon on a job. The plumbing was also being fitted (By plumbers. We were plaster boarding) But they didn’t have the fixtures so just the pipe work had been put in place (the fixtures didn’t arrive until the end of the job. It was quite a mess) and it was pretty hot then too. Then we started noticing a smell. I likened it to bolied cabbage but not quite. After a day or two Napoleon figured out it was the pipes. Apparently the plumbers should have capped all of the pipes because they gave access to sewage gasses and such. He and the other trades there at the time plugged the pipes with some insulation and the smell went away. He also said that we could get a throat infection because of all that. Which is why I wonder if the bin caused my infection now.
It’s almost gone now. Just lingering a little.
So. To recap.
It’s been hot. So my window is open.
The window being open is nice and fresh but the air gets pretty dry.
I have a bad throat.
So because of this I’ve found it hard to sleep for very long. As soon as I wake up my throat hurts and I have an uncontrollable urge to swallow. Although I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help but keep doing it. This irritates my throat even more. So I have to get up, if nothing else, just to distract myself and have a proper drink. I keep a bottle of water by my bed but I have to sip it if I’m planning on staying in bed and/or going back to sleep.
So in recent weeks I’ve maybe only been getting three hours of sleep. But I’ve been making up for it with naps. I’m getting better now so I can sleep longer and not need to nap but the change to my sleep schedule hadn’t shifted back to my old ways yet. Which I have to confess, I’m actually pretty pleased about. I’m getting up before midday. It’s actually very very nice. And because I had so little sleep I had to go to bed earlier, which also has not yet gone back to my old ways. So at the moment, although I don’t really feel unwell or very tired anymore I am getting up earlier than I used to and going to bed earlier than I used to. This is very good.
Also I still use earplugs so ambient noise doesn’t really have much of an effect on my sleep. Really loud noises still get through but it’s okay. Only trouble is I need to let the ear wax have a chance to coat my ears when I take them out. Which means I usually have to lay on one side then the other for at least half an hour each. During this time I can hear the horrible noises of the neighbours and their children in their gardens. The children are particularly annoying because they scream and shout for no reason.
Before, when I had to get up right away I just had to let my ears do what they were going to do while I was up, which doesn’t feel as effective as laying them flat for half an hour or so. But never mind. That’s what cotton buds are for.

So. That’s the context.
Now to today, which took longer than it should have but never mind.
Today is actually quite an exciting day. My one of my favourite shows comes back on after a summer break. Yay. So I’m thinking to myself. Wow it seems so quick. It feels like I should have another week to wait or something but nope, it’s today. Now If you’ve followed me for any length of time you know I’m like that. I’ll anticipate something for weeks and by the day or two before it happens I forget the date that’s been in my head for days, weeks, months. It happens every year with birthdays, pancake day, Christmas and Halloween. But still.
So while I’m drying one ear then the other I’m thinking when should I watch it? Right away or wait a while. And then just daydreaming about random things. We saw most of the Imitation Game yesterday. I’ve been thinking I’d like to put Alan Turing in my Mad Scientist project. I think he deserves a happier ending. I gave one to Nikola Tesla.
So. Drying my ears and thinking my thoughts and I hear voices outside. Well. It must be the neighbours in their gardens.
And I hear the front door keep opening and closing. What is mum doing down there? Has she taken the dog out or not? What the heck is going on. I hear loud banging and thudding. Is someone having work done? Is it road works or something. Then there’s a really really loud one that shakes my room. Not only do I hear it. I feel it. What the **** is that? Then the thudding dies down and I think what the hell is going on. But it died down and it’s clearly in the street or someone else’s garden or something. So noisy though. I’m thinking of getting up. I hear people talking. Someone is on the phone. It must be the neighbours right next door. Take your damned phone call inside already. I don’t care what’s going on with you. The door’s opening and closing again and I hear mum talking. What’s going on. Never mind. I might as well get up though. Go to the toilet like usual. But now mum is talking to someone at the door. Huh? And now I’m aware that there’s something odd. She said she’s tried to call him and he’s not picking up. What now? I give up on going to the toilet and go downstairs to get information.
So long story short.
There are some roofers who are working next door. While they’re working on next door’s roof they’ve noticed something wrong with ours. Possibly something potentially dangerous because they can’t allow it to go unfixed. Oh no. What is it. Some roof tiles are missing. Not just missing, in the guttering. This is very bad. Also he’s brought two tiles down as proof that they’re broken. Very very bad. And this fellow it so insistent on it being fixed.

Wow. Mum just dropped an unintentional insult. She’s back now and she said if you’re blogging about this then don’t put the company name because there are other companies with the same name. Wow. Really? Bearing in mind that I’m the one who looked it up and told her about the other companies. I don’t even use names in my blog. Mainly because I like the feeling of security it gives me although it’s not really secure at all because surely hackers and the like could find me anyway but still. I wouldn’t have named the company anyway. But it’s nice to know she has oh so much faith in me. Back to the story.

So although he’s speaking very politely and implying that this work absolutely HAS to be done, I guess for our sake if nothing else, he’s pushy. I’ve watched a lot or Rogue Traders (the BBC program) over the years and the Rogue Traders segment is the main reason that I watch Watchdog when it’s on. (For those not in the know Watchdog is a show where consumers who have had problems with things get in touch and the BBC investigates. It’s a show that runs on the basis of if companies or people try to screw you over then we’ll either fight for you and/or tell everyone else so that it doesn’t happen again. Rogue Traders used to be an individual show but now has a segment in Watchdog. Rogue Traders was a show where the BBC investigates companies and caught them in a trap. Usually tradesmen but other less than legal companies were also looked into. The best part was where they set up a house full of hidden cameras and have an actor or actress (usually a poor little old lady because con men like them) contact the company about having some work done. They also have a qualified professional watching the live feed to assess the work being done and they will also have placed the faulty item/utility/problem and explained that it just needs this or that little thing to be replaced or fixed and that it should only cost this much at the most. Then they have the rogue trader do their thing. They assess the work that has been done and either confront the culprit at another house they’ve set up or at their place of work. It usually ends with the culprit running away or threatening the crew. It’s always fun to watch). I’d like to think, while watching, that we don’t have this kind of problem, for now, because if something is wrong then we call Napoleon and he deals with it. If he doesn’t do it himself he tells us to call a reputable company or comes round with a friend/colleague who is qualified to fix it.
So. Although I’ve never encountered an obvious rogue trader, that I knew of, until today that is, I have watched a lot of the show and I know the sorts of things they do to get money out of you. Being persistent, no matter how polite is one of them. Anyone who asks for money at your door is suspicious. We’ve always been distrustful of people at the door anyway but if money is involved we go into hyper evasion mode. I don’t care even if you are a reputable and honest company/charity how dare you ask for money when people are off guard. We’d never actually say that bit but we think it strongly. If you have a credit card handy it’ll be quick and easy. I can do it right now. No. Go away. It’s just his and that. No. Go away. Finally they see we’re not budging and finally go away. Well it’s actually more of I can’t right now I have this and this and all and not now no. But it’s basically us trying to say no go away without seeming rude. Despite my issues with people, if you catch me in the wrong mood, you’re more likely to get a polite go away. Although usually my blank and distrusting expression will tell you everything you need to know before I say a thing.
But this slippery guy didn’t meet me. I don’t even know if he knew I was there. He didn’t see me but he must have seen my form through the window (it’s distorted, as all front door windows should be). Now, although she didn’t give the correct response to make them go away quickly, because she was caught off guard, mum isn’t stupid. She wouldn’t give him money or agree to work no matter how nice he was.