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Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

It's Surreal When Your Name Runs Away From You

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by
Bluebiird
, 05-22-2016 at 01:35 AM (2342 Views)
I’m a little bored and tired and putting off going to bed.
I just googled my name for fun. Haven’t done it in a while. Seems Bluebiird has run away from me. I don’t really mind.
Time was that if I looked for it, it’d usually bring me straight here, since it’s here that I’m most active with the name. Now it’s not even the front page. Like I said. I don’t really mind. It’s kind of surreal. It used to be kind of unique. At least with multiple users in multiple places with the same name it obscures the real me. I rather like anonymity online. Well. As best as I can get. If you’ve ever watched something like CSI Cyber you know that you can never be completely anonymous unless you’re some kind of computer expert, which the average person is not. It’s actually very scary if you think about it.
But back to me.
In fairness it’s not like I own the name. It’s not even like I came up with it. It was a typing mistake on my email address and I thought it was kind of nice. That was at over ten years ago now. I must’ve been maybe fifteen or sixteen. Well, I couldn’t change it by the time I realised so I had to live with it. But still, I found it simple yet quirky.
Most likely others have used the name because of the same thing. Just a mistake that stuck, or they wanted bluebird but that was taken, rather than making it ridiculously complicated by adding a string of numbers or other characters why not just add another letter and make it more unique.
At least I hope that’s how it happened and it’s not that someone saw my name somewhere and thought that’s kind of good I’ll have that.
You’d think I should be flattered by that. At the moment that idea annoys me. Come up with your own damned names.

But like I said. That’s probably not what happened. I consider it highly unlikely. The first two reasons are far more likely.
I just found It kind of spooky.
Bluebiird out.
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Comments

  1. August Guelfen's Avatar
    I was told to be a synaesthetist by my own visions of genetic mutations of
    my DNA. My first contact with "competent" doctors was with 18 months of age. I got a tropic virus in Colombia, South America, when I was there the first time of my life with my parants. We visited Cali, Cartagena, San Andres and so on... Colombia is the nation, where my mother was born in 1950 as youngest child of an old spanish grande, comperable to the word peer in "the peerage of england", and a younger noble lady, born to the house of the dukedom Osuna, there she was the oldest daughter of a branche of all these relationships created so many centuries ago. So, I got there a very dangerous virus with fever symptomatical equal to dengue or malaria. My father didn't allow doctors to take my blood for analyse, because he couldn't accept the idea of seing me tortured by a old primitive
    needle. I nearly died there. Still today the scarves are visible in my blood by the spectre of viral tests. With three I nearly lost my ability to see, because of an old anomaly in my family, a bizarre eye desease on both eyes. They are totaly different. My left eye should be nearly blind, but my right eye sees everything in detail in the distance, as my seamingly nearly blind left eye sees everything, which is close to his radius. It is called a form of anisomethropy, which is extremly rare. Nobody can explain me, why I am what I am, but everybody seams to react helpless by trying to say me what kind of social, genetic and mind hyperanomaly I am. Nearly nobody tried or even try today to accept me and my kind of being, without an evil hopeless try to make me explainable to them in there kind of categories. Even my own father, quite similar in a few points to me, tends to call me the hellish beast, or something like that. The point is, I never had a chance to develop an eloquent identity, like my to parents before me. I am the sad surrealistic crown of mankind by my synaesthetic knowing and my mindpower of extrem forces of will. I saw so many experts
    of so many scientific fields, nobody can explain, why I am, what I am, or who I am definitly not. I have hundrets of person suits, each one is a second skin for me. I wear these suits of identities one over the other, but all of them visible on many ways the same time. The are shades of my soul
    and are all visions and versions of myself to myself, but obviously, I think about myself being lost in to many worlds inside and out. I would be happy, if I could pass only one day without the experience that everyone fears me like the worst moster of their personal nightmare over and over again. I can see myself through their eyes. I only see pain and fear caused
    by blue, golden and bloodred light...
  2. qimissung's Avatar
    "But back to me..." lol, lol, lol.
  3. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    So glad you explained the spelling. It's bothered me for years.