day in a life

Today is Sunday, I just got my first cup of coffee and it's almost noon. I was watching tv late last night, Hunger was on. It truly is a great movie and Steve McQueen says a lot without words. This got me thinking again (like I stopped) about silence and how much we say with body language. I think I say 'I'm uptight and don't want to talk to anyone' I think so, don't know though. I have a friend who doesn't care at all about what people think, she will dance in a crowded street if she wants to. I don't do things like that, I don't dance at all, ever. But she has fun and has a lot of friends, she doesn't want to be alone, she wants company 24/7. A part of me envies that but a bigger part is glad I'm not like that.

I do often wonder how people see me. I was walking with a friend the other day to class and a woman she knows was heading the same way and she said that all she knows about me is that I am extremely organized. That is what she had heard about me. Not smart or funny, organized. I don't complain about that because I am a bit OCD when it comes to how things should be done and in what order. I tend to feel like my way is the right way and even though I don't care if other people do it differently I still deep down think they are wrong...

I was telling a friend her on lit net who knows I tend to use this blog as an outlet when I have something on my mind that when it comes to silence the written word tends to be more powerful than the spoken. At least to me. When you write something down it's more real than when you say it. I am always telling people that I need to go out more but I never do. This year I wrote it down in my plan of goals along with eating regularly (that is a problem) and save a bit more money than I have.

Back to writing, I have kinda given up on writing poetry and fiction. I don't think I'm that good, I think I'm way to dramatic and I often think things are working in my head but no one else gets it so it has plot holes I think. Maybe one day I will start up again, I have many ideas, right now my dream is to finish school and get a job translating books... I think so at least.

I have one poem I think I like, I don't know if I have put it up here it's about 2 years old. I mentioned it once in a thread about writing lyrics. I don't have a name for it yet but here it is:

I think of you
in the morning
You are what I want
every day
first thing I look for
when I come home
last thing I see
before sleep
I can smell you
I can taste you
on my lips
Warm feelings run
through my body
Too much of you
and I shake
too little
I ache
Can't be without you
you'r bitter you'r sweet
You are perfect
for me

Seems dramatic I know but it's about coffee and my brother thinks the title should be Coffee but I don't know. I kinda like that it could be about something more daring then I would ever talk about. We did get the idea to call it Joe, but maybe it just shouldn't have a title.

Words are powerful and that is in part why I read, when you think about it Jane Austen found the written word more powerful then talk. How many letters and notes got people together in her books. I find myself quoting her a lot these days even though it has been a long time since I read anything by her.

Well my books are waiting and it has to be me who reads them or nothing will happen with my BA...