day in a life

I don't like kids, never have and probably never will, except my own. He is wonderful. My son has a friend I have never liked, I know I'm talking about a 7 year old and I don't care. He is rude and says mean things. My son is very sensitive, he wants to hug his friends and when they leave he always says something like 'bye best friend' this boy answers him always by saying 'by worst friend' and laughing cause he thinks he's so funny and big. He plays sports my son prefers to color or play with his Lego. I have had a deal with this boys mother and we take turns two days a week, we take both boys home because it's expensive to pay for after school hours at school. and we are both students so we just pick a day that suits both. Well I am not gonna do that after Christmas. My son wanted to wear his fake glasses to school the other day because this boy told him he has lines under his eyes that make him ugly.

I don't like this kid, and for the first time my son said himself that he doesn't want to play with him after school. He has always said that he wants to play with him even though he says things like this but this was just to much for him.

I don't understand why kids do this and say things like this. I sometimes wonder if my son is always gonna get this because he is sensitive. His teacher told me that one boy teased him by writing a line on the paper he was coloring on and my boy just couldn't stop crying, he sees things like this as an attack and he is always trying to do his best. He says he is going to be an artist when he grows up. I like that, don't care if it will happen or not I just like the fact that he wants to now.

Well anyway, I was contacted by my brothers friend a few days ago, I don't get a guy who talks to his friends little sister. I think I should be off limits. I don't like the guy but I will meet him regularly so I don't want to hurt him or make him uncomfortable. My brothers girlfriend said I need the practice, in talking to guys that is. Cause I avoid it at all cost. I just don't want to.

I had a weird dream last night, I had a broken tooth and three black cats ran ahead of me and I had a child I couldn't control. And finally I was in a department store shopping for Christmas and had no money. According to dream books all these signs are bad. Wonder if anything will happen. I can't say I actually believe in this stuff but because it's my subconscious talking I don't want to dismiss it either.

Life is just a bit overwhelming me at the moment. I have even caught myself hoping I could just let go of everything. Like I felt all the time when I was younger and before I had my son.

I also know I over complicate everything, I multiply instead of simplifying. My filing cabinet is not even alphabetical. I usually have everything in it's place and notes and lists to remind me of the order I want to get things done, but the filing system in my head is just not listening.