day in a life

Well Saturday is here again and I have a lot of work to do. My son is with his dad so it's a study weekend for me.

My brother had a concert two days ago, he just released a CD with his original songs and lyrics. The concert was great and the house was almost full, a small house but it was a place in my town that many have strong memories for so it was very nice. I am a socially awkward idiot who drank three beers but couldn't find a way to leave a conversation so my bladder was working overtime until I got home. I talked to my brothers friend most of the night, mainly because we are both socially awkward and didn't know how to leave the conversation. I truly despise myself sometimes.

I was waiting as usual for someone to save me and come and talk to us or something, my mom even left without saying goodbye when I was waiting for her to come so I could use that excuse. And now two days later I am still obsessing about everything I said to everybody and how it was and how I looked. I was so annoyed at myself yesterday I didn't study at all, well I read 'The Penal Colony' but that is very short. I just don't know how to be social.

I did have a good icebreaker into any conversation, the last song my brother sang, he described it before and said that for a while he was kinda homeless living on his sister's couch (that's me). He said he was working on himself at the time. 'This song was created when I lived with my sister, her son and two dogs, it's called Trash'. This introduction sounded like my apartment is never clean and tidy, my friend and my sister in law and me, we cried it was so funny. But now I could start any conversation by saying my apartment is not full of trash.

My brother tends to say things like this, he doesn't realize it when he says it but I often look bad in his stories, he is lucky I find it funny.

Well I really should try and stop obsessing about this night and get back to Nietzsche.