day in a life

Well it has been a few days now since I talked to the teacher who wants to guide me and I have been thinking about this project a lot. I have been thinking about school in general a lot. I want to get a higher average grade because they let the people with the highest grade in when it comes to getting a Masters degree. I have never done my best, at least I have always felt like I could work harder. I just have a huge fear that if I do my best it might not be enough so it's better to be average. I know I have this problem and I really want to get over it and do better. That is my plan this semester, work harder and do better. (easier said than done)

I am thinking about focusing my BA on sympathy or empathy towards Grendel. In the original poem you don't really feel sorry for him but in the book Grendel (I just started reading it) you see his point of view and in the recent movies his side is very well portrayed. Make sure we feel sorry for the bad guy and that something happened before that drove him to this. It's kinda like watching Criminal Minds were the past is more important than the future.


I don't like the 'being in a box' metaphor about not wanting any changes and living life in constant routine. I call it my triangle, I like my routine a whole lot and I need to know the next step but I am not as closed off in my head as many people around me are. I am also very open about my feelings and everything that goes on in my head. I keep secrets very well but when it comes to me I don't hide that much, that is if people want to know it I usually tell them.

My son is home sick today and he will go to his dad's house later, right now we are watching Superman Returns for the billionth time, and I really don't like that movie. He loves it though.

My son is having a small problem at school with the other boys. He is in a small school and there are only 11 boys in his class, no girls. My boy is very sensitive and not as outgoing as many boys are. He is very smart and quick to learn if he just wants to ( he doesn't always want to). Some boys make fun of him because he has a very adult way of speaking and we read books not everybody reads to kids (Don Quixote for example). Most of the boys love soccer and running around and he just doesn't so he gets left behind a bit. He does have some good friends but even they change their tune every now and then, as 7 year old boys do. His teacher is gonna keep an eye out and try to work with them more. She is very nice.

He loves to dress up as superheroes when they are not heroes, just normal, their alter ego. Bruce Wayne in his black suit and bow. Clark Kent in his three piece suit and even the Doctor (11th doc). The other boys don't really get that, why be Steve Rogers when you can be Captain America! He changes his clothes almost everyday after school to be some hero. The other boys find this odd I guess but he loves it and does it even though someone makes fun.

I was always very good at not letting it bother me when kids or just people in general said something nasty or made fun of something I did. He is not as good at that as I was and maybe am. In school I was always the weird one. The one who didn't shop in trendy stores and didn't like the popular music. kids made fun of that but I didn't want to be like them in any way so I didn't care and even made some comments to shock them more. My son is just very sensitive and he doesn't want to stop doing these things but he also wants to be like the other boys.

Well when life gives you lemons you squeeze them into someones eyes.