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Halls of the Dark Muse

Issue with Friends Update

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8 Comments
by
Dark Muse
, 06-26-2013 at 11:17 PM (2315 Views)
Some of you may recall a previous post I did of the somewhat complicated situation regarding a particular friend of mine, but to give a quick recap. I have/had this friend who I will refer to as David, I knew he wanted to be more then friends, but he knew I did not share those feelings, but we continued to be friends, and he seemed nice. Then as it happened my old boyfriend and I reunited and we are now back together and doing well together. Around the time this happened David sort of disparaged on me, on the brief occasions I heard from him he told me he had been really busy with work but I was wondering if he was avoiding me.

Now it had been nearly two months of my not hearing anything from him, and so I had pretty much determined that he no longer wished to continued talking to me now that I was in a relationship, but out of the blue last night he reappeared and we chattered a bit. I began to think to myself that maybe I misjudged him and he really had been very busy. He told me things had been hectic at work and he had a lot of deadlines he was trying to meet, plus getting the house ready for his boys (he and his wife are separated, and they have twin boys and he had told me before they would be coming out to visit him soon).

So we chatted a bit, and everything seemed normal, but it was already late at night and we both needed to be getting to bed. He told me he would talk to me again today, but now getting near the days close I have not heard a single thing from him, and this is the second time he did this to me. Nearing the end of May he made a brief reappearance and talked to me for like 5 mins and told me we would talk more later but then I never heard from him again until last night. And the first thing he asked me on both occasions was about how things were between me and my boyfriend.

Now I do not know if he truly wishes to continue our friendship and genuinely has simply been very busy, or there is a part of me that feels he is almost circling around like a vulture just waiting to see if by chance my relationship might happen to fall a part. Right now I really do not know what to about him. I don't know if I can really trust him or what his motivations might be.
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The Bad, The Ugly, The Uglier

Comments

  1. qimissung's Avatar
    Ugh, I think you may be on to something, DM. I dislike trying to figure out people's motivations, and I'm not very good at it. I don't have any advice for you. I guess if he genuinely wanted to be friends he would be talking to you on a more regular basis, but that is just a guess.

    Good luck. I'm glad everything else in your life seems to be going pretty well.
  2. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Yes, if I don't hear from him within the next couple of days then I think I am going to be just done with it.
  3. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    I've read this about 6 times and keep getting distracted and forget to post. I do remember this guy. My opinion is that the one who loves you should chase you to the end of the earth. Then you know it's the real deal, otherwise, it's time to move on. If he wanted you, he'd have gone after you more intensely. Why settle more mediocre, when you can have real love?
  4. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Buh4Bee
    I've read this about 6 times and keep getting distracted and forget to post. I do remember this guy. My opinion is that the one who loves you should chase you to the end of the earth. Then you know it's the real deal, otherwise, it's time to move on. If he wanted you, he'd have gone after you more intensely. Why settle more mediocre, when you can have real love?
    Well with him it is not really a question of love. I just wanted us to be friends, platonic friends, which apperently he is unwilling to do.
  5. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Yeah, but I meant when the door was possibly open? Maybe never it never was with this one. Weren't you involved? Now, he seems like he just want to use you for whatever he wants.

    But I know that is not your point, it was just mine. Haha! Yeah, you just want to be friends, but why bother, if you aren't going to get what you want?
  6. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Buh4Bee
    Yeah, but I meant when the door was possibly open? Maybe never it never was with this one. Weren't you involved? Now, he seems like he just want to use you for whatever he wants.

    But I know that is not your point, it was just mine. Haha! Yeah, you just want to be friends, but why bother, if you aren't going to get what you want?
    Hehe no, I was never really involved with him. I knew he wanted to be more than friends, but I had discussions with him on more then one occasion about the fact that I just wanted him as a friend, and at first he seemed fine with that, but I guess as long as I was single he thought he still might have a chance. And now that I am not he has no interest in our continued friendship.
  7. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    I guess I should have done some background research in your previous blogs. I can't keep the story straight DM! I an so happy to hear that your on-line relationship is going so well. It truly amazes me that these things work, but you, by far, are not the first person I am acquainted with.
  8. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Buh4Bee
    I guess I should have done some background research in your previous blogs. I can't keep the story straight DM! I an so happy to hear that your on-line relationship is going so well. It truly amazes me that these things work, but you, by far, are not the first person I am acquainted with.

    It is ok I know it can get confusing, and I probably fuddle things attempting to explain. Everyone used to always try to tell me how long distance relationships don't work, and I would always argue with them about it, and then when we first separated of course they were all like I told you so, which was quite annoying, but we are committed now to making it work and in the end I think our sepration was a catalyst that we both needed. Our reconciliation has elevated our relationship to a new level.