Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Tomorrow is my cousin's birthday party. His birthday was on Tuesday but his family have arranged a party for Saturday. To be honest I'm still in two minds about it even though I'll be going, unless something sudden and unpleasant comes along.

To be honest it seems like an awful lot of fuss. Our family don't do parties. Mainly because we're separated geographically. It's not that far really, an hour or two's drive apart but we don't really do it much. You know I only see my family two, maybe three times a year.

I don't know about the rest of the family but neither mum or I do birthday parties because we don't have any friends of close family to invite and if we did we couldn't hold it here anyway, since we can't really have guests and the parking round here is abysmal anyway. And holding one at a venue would be an awful lot of fuss and just not worth it since, as I mentioned, we don't really have anyone to invite.

Most of the family live over in Essex, at least that's the largest concentration of family members since that's where my aunt moved to with her husband, had four children, one of whom got married and had three children, one of whom recently had two children. Anyway, it's that cousin's birthday. He's 50 this year.

Since it's his 50th it seems his family, mainly his wife I think, decided to throw him a party and to fill seats they're inviting the family and I guess a lot of other people. I've looked it up. The venue holds 60 for a sit down meal and 100 for a buffet. There's even talk of my other uncle coming and his girls and their families (That's the branch of the family that my other aunt started, the dead one)

To be honest I'm not really looking that forward to it.....Although it would be nice to see everyone, last time we were all together would probably have been a wedding (my cousin wasn't at my aunt's funeral because he was on holiday and I wasn't at the last funeral because it was on the same day as my novel writing class at uni, I believe I blogged about that dilemma back then).

So, I'm kind of looking forward to seeing everyone, assuming everyone does come but there's considerable trepidation about it. Last time I was somewhere full of people was actually at the anime expo where I dressed as a cat maid, I think that was about two years ago now, maybe three.

Last time I was at any kind of party I think it was an old work friend of mums wedding reception and that was at her job before the one she was kicked out of last year. Trust me it's a long time ago.

I don't do well in crowds. I don't do well around strangers. In fact I struggle to be normal and engaging around anyone. I have tried but it doesn't always work out. At our family gatherings, given the choice of sitting quietly in the corner or in the middle of the room with my family, I will always sit quietly in the corner.

To make matters worse, to be honest, I'm a little annoyed by this party. We don't really do birthdays or presents (we do birthday cards) and suddenly, because it's his 50th we're expected to go celebrate. Mum turned 60 this year. No one made a fuss of her, not even me (if you recall we were both sick at the time, though I do a cake that she liked a lot).

My other uncle (the one who annoys me on the phone) is turning 70. I doubt he'll have a party. I'm turning 25 this year. Do you think any of them will remember that? I highly doubt it.

This is a year of big numbers that are supposed to be a big deal. Only one has any recognition.

That's not all that's bugging me. Since we don't normally do presents it's not an issue. The children get presents but the adults don't. I'm an adult now so I certainly wouldn't expect presents from my relatives anymore. But. Because it's a party and were all invited there's an unwritten rule that we should bring a gift. Of course, the main reason we don't do presents is because we barely see each other. Those who live closely together probably do do presents but we can't be doing with buying and posting presents.

So. That raises new problems. What to get? My cousin and his branch of the family escaped before I'd worked up the nerve to start questioning everyone at Christmas.....sorry, I never did write that up.

We know he's a Spurs fan so we went down that road. Mum was thinking of getting something like a 1963 program but that was a bust. In the end we went to the shop and got a replica 1963 shirt after I'd extensively looked through their online shop.

Now. Shopping with me is never wise. Especially to a place that sells interesting or quirky little knickknacks. I went just a little mad but I contributed to half the cost because of it. I got some wrapping paper and stickers which I used to make a card and pocket notebook. Got a plain card in case I didn't make one (I wasn't really in a card making mood), got another card which was a bit of a letdown once you open it, it was a pop up stadium, looked bigger and better in the picture. Got a shirt for Napoleon (he's also a fan, it's how he and mum met), got a key shaped bottle opener (cousin likes a beer now and then, seemed fitting), got a duck bath plug (those things look so fun but probably get old quick. If nothing else it'll be fun if they have the grand children over and give them a bath), also got two pin badges, one was reduced to 50p (was thinking of trying to put one on note book but couldn't work out how later on) oh and some tissues with the logo because maybe I could use one for the notebook or card (I discovered how to use paper napkins to decorate cards and wondered if tissues would work as well. Probably wouldn't though). I think that's everything.

I hear the rest of the family have clubbed together to get him an experience, probably a helicopter ride or something and those who didn't know what to get joined in with that. Now I worry that we might look kind of snobbish getting all this stuff, especially more so considering we don't have an income at all. Birthdays are so tricky to navigate.

Fun yet strangely spooky facts. My cousin was born in 1963. He turns 50 this year. I turn 25 this year. I will be half his age. Based on this we can conclude that he was 25 when I was born. Mum had me at 35 so I have to wait another 10 years before I'll be half her age. There are 10 years between her and my cousin and 10 years between her and my uncle, who will be 70. This year Napoleon will be 63 so he was born in 1950.....Do you see what I see?

My cousin was born in 1963 and Napoleon is 63 this year while Napoleon was born in 1950 and my cousin is now 50. How strange.

Oh. forgot to mention. It's Mother's Day the day after (Sunday) so going to my cousin's party, staying a respectable amount of time and getting back at a decent time and then waiting for mum to go to bed so I can set up Mother's day is going to be a big ask. To be honest Mother's day is more important to me because my mother is more important to me. I think I've done quite well. I bought a new banner (last year's one was crummy, then again , this one might be too). I don't have a card. i was thinking of making one but it would just get buried in a corner somewhere so I'm not sure it's worth it. I got a crummy little gift of a little plant in a little pot with a little stuffed bear. It's cute and all but not quite practical, it also doesn't say "thanks for putting up with me" as much as it should.

I got some coloured tissue paper and I'm making some flowers out of it. Still not quite sure what I'll do with them but it should be nice at least. Also got a cheap packet of fairy cakes and some pink ready swirl icing. I plan to arrange them in some nice way and decorate them, again not quite sure how I'll do all that.

It's hard to keep these things secret, especially since mum is at home all day. I believe I've expressed this problem before. I'm hiding the plant under my bed but I'm worried it'll die so I put it on my windowsill when I get up, unfortunately that's quite late so I doesn't have much daylight to soak up. I would leave it there overnight so it can get the sun while I'm still in bed but mum opens my curtains when she gets up (we agreed on it to help me absorb some sunlight) so if I leave it there then she'll find it and it won't be a surprise and there's nowhere else I can put it where she won't notice it. She only comes into my room to wake me up so it's pretty safe there after that.

But once it gets dark I sneak it back under my bed so I don't stupidly forget to do it when I got to bed and she finds it and it isn't a surprise.

Sigh.

I get the feeling that I make too much of a fuss about these things.

Okay. That's enough whining now. I'll shut up. Just one thing before I go. Sheepy now has a brother and sister. Moomoo the cow and Truman the flying pig. They were very fun to make.

Bluebiird out.
(and no I'm not going to baa, oink and moo now)