Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Well. After all that unhappiness I wrote about yesterday a merry and comfortable Christmas followed.

I was still a bit mad at Napoleon when he finally turned up, if you recall I was still typing my account of the events. I'll try to detail my Christmas Day now in it's entirety, except for the bit I wrote about yesterday.

Mum ended up getting me up at about 9:30 instead of 8:30. No worries. She was supposed to get up at 5 to start on the bird but actually got round to it at 7. You already know these bits but I'm filling them in anyway.

Did I tell you last year about how mum gives me some gifts in the morning that were originally from "Santa" but when I grew up she kept on with the tradition as "Mum". Usually it's in a bag but this year she squeezed them into a box. It was fun but coming downstairs I couldn't see my feet which was tricky.

For fun I gave mum her Sherlock book before I started opening anything. She was quite pleased with it. Like I said yesterday, she'd been to Tokyo Toys. She brought me another 4 volumes of Blackbird and some Black Butler themed items.......Black bird and Black Butler . Haven't seen season 2 yet. I named my gargoyle Sebastian after Sebastian in Black Butler. She also got me a jigsaw puzzle and a tomato ketchup cook book....not sure where that idea came form but I don't mind.

We gave Yuki her big squeaky duck and it was so fun to watch her trying to rip the paper.

Then we had the unhappy bit mentioned yesterday.

While they were looking at the car I whipped the hoover around while listening to a fun song because I couldn't sit around moping anymore and I think I'd finished my blog entry then. By the way he couldn't make a definite diagnosis of the car.

I tried to help mum preparing the dinner table. Not quite sure when but we gave her another toy at some point. It was a squeaky woopie cushion. (she killed the duck in the first 5 minutes, this one was more of the same). I think she got over excited tearing up the paper.

Mum said I should offer Napoleon a drink. I didn't see the point but I did. I gave him a glass with a little lemonade, barely half full (it was a long glass because that's all we had available at the time). I asked mum if it seemed a bit mean. She thought it did but I wasn't being mean....not completely. Napoleon thought I was being very mean but I left the lemonade on the table. He's an adult. He's got legs. If he wants a refill he can get it.

I tried to explain that I only gave him a little because he never eats enough at dinner and that I know from personal experience that filling up on fizzy drink gives you gas which makes you feel fuller quicker. He didn't complain beyond a kind of jokey complaining and really, it's not like he couldn't get more himself if he really wanted.

I put on my antlers when they came back in and sometime later I put on the dog's. Mum put hers on at the dinner table.

Predictably Napoleon sat around watching TV like a dead pig. Also he had it on far too loud. He didn't insist on any present opening until after dinner....sort of....I'll explain soon. The door fell off the oven again and mum was still doing a little cooking so she put the door against the oven while keeping things warm in the over. At least the turkey was done though. Wow that was a good turkey. A very good turkey. It's tricky to type because I didn't cut my nails and they're a bit too long for comfort.

I told Napoleon he could look at the oven after dinner, once it had cooled down, and we'd see how long it took for him to fix it (he did it annoyingly quickly) so that he'd see exactly what the problem was. A little pin/screw like bit keeps falling out.

Mum was almost ready to serve everything up and I decided, because I was sick of keep washing my hands I'd use a hand wipe before dinner (I had to put the bin bag out and it was a little wet and I also wash my hands after playing with the dog and things like that). I asked Napoleon if he'd like to use one, for convenience. He said no he'd wash his hands after he'd gone to the toilet. I told him he'd better go now then because we're about to sit down and he started acting like a suborn child and saying he wasn't going yet because we weren't ready.

I kept going out to report things to mum and Yuki kept hanging around the kitchen begging for scraps. As I was reporting Napoleon refusing to take his place at the table (he has to go in first because he's at the back and we don't have much room there) he went up to the toilet. Predictably he did pass gas quite a bit, as usual. But I didn't complain about it, it wasn't that big a deal.

It's kind of good that I wrote up those rules for Napoleon, even though I didn't tell him them, because it made me think. When I was writing them I focused on the bad things first but no one would follow a list full of don'ts so I put in some perks and then thought about how I could be a bit less mean and a bit more polite and put them in.

Because I wrote all that a few days ago I had it quite fresh in my mind so I tried to be polite and pleasant and stop myself if I started getting *****y or grumpy. It worked well. Eventually we all sat down to dinner.

Mum didn't have time to go upstairs and change and her hair was a mess. I said she could go and change if she wanted, we wouldn't mind, I'd make Napoleon wait until she was ready but she decided against it.

Earlier I'd asked mum if I could try a small piece of stuffing to see if I liked it, since my tastes have changed. Mum gave me a small piece. You know what? It's actually kind of nice. I can fully understand why I wouldn't have liked it as a child. I'm not sure if it's the sage or a mixture of things, since I don't recall having sage at any other time. The only way I can say it is that it has a very strong herby flavour. But since I like to cook with a little assortment of herbs I can get passed it now. It was quite pleasing.

I tried to be polite, pleasant and engage in conversation during dinner, even though I might have sounded a little odd or condescending at times, I tried not to. Napoleon didn't get it until I explained it. I tried to subtly get him to compliment the dinner. He didn't give the kind of praise I wanted from him but I guess it was a compliment coming from him. Mum tried a new recipe of frying the sprouts. He didn't seem to like it because they weren't "cooked enough".

Mum slipped her cracker hat over her antlers easily, I had some trouble but I managed it. I would have taken my antlers off and slipped it on from the bottom but I'd pinned my antlers in place. Napoleon finished eating and mum was almost finished eating, I still had about a third to go. Probably because I was doing all of the conversing.

I noticed Napoleon sneak the hat out of his cracker and slip it under the table. To be honest, until he did that I'd forgotten about him not wearing a hat. I was too busy trying to be pleasant. While I confronted him about his hat (and I still have no idea how this happened, all I can say is I did it again today with a bottle of water and soaked myself) I knocked my glass, filled with 2 thirds lemonade and 1 third cola and it spilled over the table and a bit of Napoleon. I tried to clean it up with about 4 napkins but they were only good for the table spillage and Napoleon went to get himself some kitchen towels for the spill on his jeans. All I could think was, perfect accidental revenge .

While he was out there Napoleon had a go at the oven and fixed it annoyingly quickly. Since he was done with dinner he wanted to turn the TV on. I wouldn't allow this. I turned it off for dinner because it would be stupid to keep it on like normal. What's the point, the table's on the other side of the room, you can't even see the back of the TV let alone the front and what's the point of listening to it when you could converse at the table instead?

I wanted everyone sat at the table and after dinner we'd play a little of that table trivia I got just for the occasion. Napoleon didn't want to sit down but he still played so it was fine. Mum couldn't read it because it was too small, on a black background written in gold and we were doing it by candle light. So I was the only one who could read them, Napoleon couldn't, partly for those reasons and also because he didn't have his reading glasses.

I wanted to play too so I took a card from the back of the box and put my thumb over the answer (they're only little things, it's very sweet). It was general knowledge and the questions were pretty good, a nice mix of easy and not so easy. Now and then Napoleon accused me of cheating and I tried to assure them I wasn't. I really wasn't. I still had a little turkey to eat and a lot of peas. One point I considered stopping to finish my food but Napoleon wanted another question so I read some more. When we decided to finish I finished off my dinner then we went to open gifts and after that mum put the pudding out.

At some point during that elongated dinner Napoleon kept bringing over gifts, he brought over mum's and one of mine. She'd finished her dinner so she opened them but I was saving mine for after dinner. He got us a joint gift of a chocolate orange (because I've told him before not to buy mum too many sweets, it's usually me who eats them, but he's taken me a little too literally there).

Because we'd spent so long on that trivia Napoleon didn't have time to go home for Doctor Who so he had to watch it here. I did try to follow the last series but list interest half way. I got up to the one with the cyborg in the wild west town and got bored.

Before that we exchanged gifts. Mum got Napoleon assorted thermals, you already know I got him a t-shirt, magnetic, extendable torch and a pocket spirit level. He was quite pleased with the torch. I showed him it was magnetic with some safety pins. That was a surprise for him. I had to explain that it had a little tab inside to stop people wasting the battery without buying it and how it's extendable (by the way, we've already played around with it since we got it, the tab can be replaced It was very useful when we lost a pin and then found it with the torch). He wasn't so pleased with the t-shirt btu he didn't really complain beyond a sentence so it was fine.

He got me Assassins Creed 3 (still haven't finished 2 but I'm sort of collecting them for when I do) and a M&S gift card with adorable husky puppies. Puppies. Soooo cute. He got mum the orange truffle baileys she wanted and an M&S gift card.

You know I got mum 2 jumpers, a pair of gloves and that book. She was pleased with all of them. She's been wearing the reindeer jumper all day today (Boxing Day) I'm very pleased. It's very well fitting on her, a good length with good length sleeves and a high neck.

Mum got me some very surprising and well received things. She gave me a pretty hooded dressing gown with teddy bear ears. It's ever so soft and warm. It makes me thing of the coat we got Hilton for his first Christmas, a little brown full body teddy bear suit. This is sort of like a grown up version of that. I caught sight of myself in the mirror with it and the first thing I thought was, I look like a teddy bear Jedi . I don't even like Star Wars (it's okay I guess but I can never focus on it for long, I get bored).

She also got me a lovely cross stitch scene to do, because I was a little jealous when she brought home a snow leopard to do herself. I'd looked at some other designs that company do and was particularly taken with a Japanese garden scene and a Japanese temple scene because of the way they showed reflections, in the garden it was a pond and at the temple it was raining and the reflections were very well designed and looked quite realistic. She tells me that she did try to get one of those but they've been discontinued but this one has a reflection too. It's a lovely scene so I assured her that I really didn't mind.

The most surprising thing she got me was an ipod shuffle. That certainly was a shock. About 2-3 years ago I couldn't use my old MP3 player anymore (it wasn't compatible with the PC). She also got me some new earphones, having asked a member or staff in the store for their recommendation.

So. I think that's everything. In the end it was an excellent Christmas. You know. I had a sweet little idea when I was baking cookies the other day that I could take some to my uncle on Christmas day. But I was a little concerned with that idea because he now had diabetes. I thought maybe I could give him a few and also him some to give to his friend (since, as someone is kind enough to let you come to Christmas lunch, even if they're your very good friend, it's still nice to bring them a gift) But I decided against it due to time restraints and it's a very good thing I didn't now isn't it .

Last night I got tired but it was too early for me to go to bed so I snuggled up in an armchair to snooze for about an hour and felt refreshed.

I slept in until gone 3pm today. We made a start on the turkey sandwiches and the chocolate log. I plan to have a go at a mince pie despite the time. I've been working on the lemonade and cola today. Makes me need to pee a lot though.

I also opened up the cheesy biscuits that I got especially for Christmas. Mum used to get things like that, things like sweet biscuits and/of cheesy nibbles but she stopped one year, when I was quite young, after she saw a comedian on TV.

The joke was how your wife gets these things like a month or so in advance and during that time when you fancy them and try to eat them she goes "No. We're saving it for Christmas" then on Christmas day you're all sat around, full to bursting from Christmas dinner and pudding, to the point that even the thought of food makes you feel sick and she comes out with the nibbles and offers you them, but of course you're so stuffed you don't want them.

I decided to revive this old tradition because I've found when you eat too many sweets and you get a kind of sickly taste in your mouth eating something savoury very helpful, usually cheese. i find cheese works very well for that. I also got onion rings .

Today Yuki has been hunting mice but failed and later on we gave her her final rubber squeak toy (we have 2 other toys for her too), mum wrapped it and we gave it to her. It's a big squeaky pig and it's still alive. Now she knows that to do with a present like that she was excitedly tearing off the paper, biting it and scratching it adn once the pig was out we gathered it all up. She's a funny dog. oh. Forgot to say. She was very good, she wore her antlers all of Christmas day. The trick was not to put them on her head, she didn't like that, but behind her ears, kind of like a collar but higher.

So. I think that's everything. Sorry for the super long blog but now you know why I was too tired to do it yesterday.

Hope you all had a good Christmas Day and beyond.

Bluebiird out.

P.S. I'll fix the mistakes later so please endure them for now.