Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

What day was it again? Ah. Day 15.

I got a present, differently shaped to the last one. Yuki got a red knot bone.

Not much to say today. Overslept. Badly. Put up the Christmas cards. last night. might put up some trim here and there soon. Might not. Might continue with my blanket instead. We'll see.

I notice there have been some very depressing things in the news lately. I don't particularly want to talk about them but I'm aware of them. I try not to think about them though. Generally I'm happy most of the day but if I get over excited about Christmas I have to calm myself down and when I do that I start thinking about everything and I feel a little depressed and overwhelmed. I'm trying to maintain the balance here. So far no disasters personality wise yet.

When I'm super happy I'm well aware that anything could make me depressed. As Christmas time is nearly upon us they keep showing depressing adverts appealing for charities and organizations like the Salvation Army for example. These adverts can make me depressed. If I have a moment where I get just a little sad then I could start going down very fast. Once I have one sad thought then more usually follow resulting in depression. I try to think of happy and exciting things after I have a sad thought to keep things balanced and my overall mood quite good. It's easy enough when I can quickly dismiss and forget about the sad thing, or at least put it to the back of my mind. I'm not sure how I'll be on Christmas day or the 29th. I hope I'll be okay.

Don't think it's a big thing. I'm making it sound like a serious issue. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I just get sad sometimes. I call it depression but it really isn't. Well. Not serious clinical depression anyway. I wouldn't dare assume or claim that I have true depression. I feel it would be insulting to sufferers of real clinical depression. As l long as I think of happy things and avoid contact with people in general I should be fine.

Only 10...well technically it's 9 days now. Scary huh? I might try and do some wrapping while mum's out. I've made a list of things to do in my head so I can get everything done. Maybe I'll write it up now so I don't forget anything. Like I said. We'll see.

Bluebiird out.

Sorry. Got a little stuck on one subject there. It was going to be shorter than this but I went back and got on that whole depressing news sad thing.