day in a life

It's eleven o'clock on a Friday night. My son is asleep after watching 'Winnie the Pooh' I just love Eeyore, he is the best part of the gang. When I was a teen some friends of mine analyzed the gang and we figured out that some of us fit the personalities of the pooh gang, I was Eeyore, my best friend Piglet. Anyway that's not what is on my mind.

I went to all my classes this week and I only had coffee with the girls three times and the last time (today) I only stayed for 30 minuets. That was all I had in me and I left feeling fine. I only saw my mom twice this week and I think that is enough. I have studied a lot this week and in general it has been good.

I have no idea what to do this weekend, I need to read as much as I can but that will depend on a few things. My son won't sit quiet all day while I read, not that I want him too. I need to find the perfect blend of doing something fun with him and reading while he plays or watches tv. It's a tricky thing.... I just want to have fun with him, a smart person would stop hanging at the computer and go read, maybe I'll do that...

I am reading I book I am not enjoying, at least not yet, it's called 'Gods without men' by Hari Kunzru. Gotta finish it by Monday cause I need to read Voltaire and a book called 'Hounded' too. Then it's Easter and then the semester is almost over and I have essays and test then work, really don't want to work. but it will be OK.

I am trying to figure out how much uncertainty I can live with and I think as long as I have a few things under control I can have some uncertainty. I feel like these past two years have been like a leap in personal growth and every now and then I feel like I am landing (like now) but that is just for a while and then I am up in the air again hoping I'll land on my feet and not my face. I am not saying it's a bad thing I am just saying it's not the best thing.

I feel like I can depend on my self for almost anything and the rest I'll figure out. The only problem (not a problem I guess but wandering) is that I think I know what I want I just can't/won't/don't wanna/do wanna figure out if I should right now. This sentence made no sense but it still says everything I am thinking and not thinking. I think I make things very confusing for myself.

I'm gonna go read 'Gods without men' and stop thinking about what I should or should not do.

Oh at least I kept my first promise to myself.