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Halls of the Dark Muse

On the Edge of Darkness

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by
Dark Muse
, 03-24-2012 at 02:32 AM (1589 Views)
Alas I know it is going to sound like I am harping which I cringe at the prospect of indulging in, and you are quite welcome to ignore me here but for those who have been following the saga of the goings on between myself and a now former friend of mine, it seems that it has not to a finite end and I am left quite disconcerted.

Needless to say that I have just been getting to a point of coming to peace with the fact he will no longer be a part of my life he has decided to make a reappearance. Now after he is the one who told me that he thought it was for the best that he just move on with his life, and that he desired I no longer continue to get in touch with him and he made it quite clear that if I attempted to do so he would ignore me. He left a comment in one of my blogs just a few days ago.

And I am just like what the hell? Are you serious right now? I have to say that pissed me off a bit, while before I was upset about what happened but I still defended him but now I am starting to get angry. What right does he think he has to continue to intrude himself in my life, when he made the choice to no longer be a part of it? He does not get to just pop in from a distance, on his terms whenever he so desires and disturb my own peace of mind while keeping me completely cut out of his own life.

A part of me was really tempted to send him an e-mail, or leave a comment in his own blog telling him that is not acceptable, and that he needs to stay out of my life and I do not want to hear from him period anymore, because he does not have the right to have it both ways. He does not get the right to peek into my own life when he has written my off.

But there is another part of me that does not want to loose that one thread of connection I have with him. The particular blog in question was a special way in which we would communicate with each other, it was something between us in a way. Because even though it is open to the public, he was one of the only people who knows me who knew about this blog, and I would always know that things I posted within the blog would be conveyed to him. And he would always understand exactly what I was saying.

But for a person who has tendencies towards manic behavior, and an obsessive personality, it keeps me unbalanced having him hovering just around the edges of my life.
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The Darkness

Comments

  1. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Hey DM, I'm here to listen and sympathize. To me it sounds like you are processing your feelings to yourself in a very honest way. I know I personally couldn't handle an interaction such as yours. To me, it would make me too unhealthy internally. I'm always glad to read your blog.
  2. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I am already unhealthy internally, I am emotionally unstable and have a plethora of personality disorders, and I have a long history of being drawn to people who are bad for me.
  3. qimissung's Avatar
    That is pretty ratty of him, but I understand about not wanting to lose the connection. Although it does seem pretty much of a dead end. I get tired of that-hopefully you will, too, one of these days.

    Take care, DM.
  4. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I decided to play his game as it were and posted blog entry that was directed at him so if he reads it he will get the messege
  5. Bluebiird's Avatar
    Sever the rotting limb before it has a chance to destroy you. Remove every last cell so it can't spread. Best course of action. Apologies for the morbid imagery. It was all I could think of. That or deadheading. If you've had to take this path you mustn't look back so remain firm.It's no use holding onto strings better left to fray. Better to just cut them now.
    Would've commented on this saga before but didn't want to prejudice you're decision in any way. My opinion of these kinds of situations is kind of tainted.
    Updated 03-24-2012 at 10:27 PM by Bluebiird
  6. qimissung's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Muse
    I decided to play his game as it were and posted blog entry that was directed at him so if he reads it he will get the messege
    yah, it is a game for him; I find that kind of behavior kind of controlling, which is why I am not interested in hanging around with people like that.

    I deserve better than that, and so do you, DM.
  7. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    DM, You already know my opinion.