View RSS Feed

day in a life

inn for the weekend

Rate this Entry
3 Comments
by
Helga
, 03-16-2012 at 04:39 AM (924 Views)
I really like that article fifth posted after my last blog and it really got me thinking. Everything around me tells me I have to go out and be open and chatty and loud. It's like it's wrong not to want the spotlight. In class yesterday the teacher mentioned that there was a meeting with students about how to improve the department and she said that she didn't believe the results they got and that it represented the students and when she told as roughly how it was most disagreed. The students who went to the meeting are extroverts and want to be heard, they want to talk in class and have more group assignments when she said that I was in the front row and I just said no that is not what I want. I want lectures and essays and assignments. She said that was what she expected most students would want. Like we have talked about in the introvert/extrovert thread there seems to be something about literature nuts being introverts and that is what I see at school, in a class of 120 there are roughly 7 people who ask questions and comment, and it's always the same 7.

My introversion is,in my opinion, both by choice and need. the girls I hang out with at school are complete extroverts in every sense of the word but they are smart and not overly open. My best friend is an introvert by choice and her boyfriend is too. She is the only person I feel comfortable with and I always like seeing her.

This weekend my son is with his dad and I just want to be alone as much as possible. My mom always thinks I'm lying when I say I want to be alone all weekend but I do, I enjoy being alone. It's like nobody understands it when you say it outloud but many feel like this anyway but think it's wrong so they don't say it. I have never felt like I need to hide my feelings and I tell the people around me how I am feeling but they rarely get it.

This weekend I am gonna finish all my reading for next week and promise myself to show up for all my classes! That is my first simple promise to myself.

I realized something two minuets after I posted this blog so I want to add bit. I want to enjoy my introversion but I don't want it to be an excuse, at this very moment I should be in school but I'm not, I am sitting in my kitchen drinking coffee cause I don't want to see the girls at school. That is why my promise is to go to all my classes next week. My life should be how I want it AND need it to be, it could be so easy to use the fact that I scored 15 on the introversion test to think 'ok I want to be alone and I should avoid people, I am introverted'. I want to keep my friends but maybe not as often as I have. A part of me wants to tell them about this but a bigger part of me doesn't want to tell 4 girls about these things I know they don't really understand. they all have a huge social calendar and that is how they want things.

This is not an excuse but a realization about me and how I need things to be to feel good.

Updated 03-16-2012 at 04:52 AM by Helga

Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. laidbackperson's Avatar
    Helgi girl, I take life as a continual learning process whether we are going up or down in our lives - healthwise, wealthwise, in relationships or in societal position.
    You are thinking and you are learning and you are growing. But mind you, it is normally a slow process.
  2. qimissung's Avatar
    One of the most helpful things I ever read in a magazine was to always have a handy excuse. When they ask and you're not in the mood you don't have to tell them everything or anything, especially if you don't think they'll understand. Just a simple reference to plans with your family, taking care of your son, homework-you have a lot of other things going on, after all!-is all you need.

    Have a lovely weekend, Helga.
  3. TheFifthElement's Avatar
    It's bad news if you've been skipping school because you don't want to be overwhelmed by contact with other people. After how hard you've worked to get there, it would be a shame to lose it because of pressure from other people.

    But you know this, and your promise to yourself is as good one. Qimi's suggestion is good too - you have so many good reasons to avoid social contact if you don't want it. People will understand if you say 'I'd love to, but I need to get this ready for my son' or 'I've got washing to do' etc. etc. Arm yourself with a few and stick to your guns when you're sure you don't want to be bothered with other people.

    Funny, I am an introvert too but I would often be the one asking questions in school. I guess my curiosity (or, probably more pertinently my need to be right!) overwhelms any shyness I might have. It tends to be situational. If I go to a big social event I would quite happily crawl into a corner and disappear, but whenever there's knowledge involved I tend to be the mouthy one in the room.

    Anyway, it's good that you know what you want and is right for you. Don't be afraid to do things the way that suit you.

    Actually, I was just thinking that it is one of my frustrations at work that the people who make a great show of appearing to do things tend to get the recognition but those who put the hard work into delivering results tend to get overlooked. Just reading back on your first comment made me think of that. It's wrong that it should be that way, but you're right there is this pressure to be outgoing that is always there. Weird, when it is often so superficial.
    Updated 03-17-2012 at 11:20 AM by TheFifthElement