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day in a life

17 years have passed

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by
Helga
, 02-17-2012 at 11:54 AM (934 Views)
today are 17 years since my dad died.I found myself thinking about the time my mom told me he was gone and my reaction as a 9 year old. People told he was in a better place and he wasn't sick anymore but at the same time everybody cried and I really didn't know why since he was in a better place. It's odd how this affect a kid, my brothers had totally different experiences. Anyway, I was just thinking about this and I remembered yesterday when I was getting my boy ready for sleep and he grabbed my hand and just held it closely how I used to do that with my dad. He had strong hands and I felt so safe when I just hugged his hand just like my son did to me. I am happy he feels the same safety with me as I felt with my dad. I wonder what it is about hands they are like a symbol of strength and security.

Death will never stop affecting us and now 17 years later I still think about the smallest things. for a minuet this morning I kinda wished I had someone to talk to about this and even thought maybe next year I hope I will have someone. not that it's a issue.

I like being alone and I hate being alone. It would be nice to have someone when it suits me, but guess it doesn't work that way..
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  1. Virgil's Avatar
    My father passed away five years ago and I constantly think of him. It must have been really hard losing him while you were young. You're right. Death will never stop affecting us.
  2. prendrelemick's Avatar
    Thanks for posting that. I kind of know what you mean - you remember things like hands, knees (in my case) an old coat, when the face becomes fuzzy

    Grieving for a loved one never ends. But warm memories of that person is a kind of positive that comes along with time.
    Updated 02-19-2012 at 06:44 AM by prendrelemick
  3. qimissung's Avatar
    Yeah, it's all mixed up together. The deep initial grief passes, thank God, and hopefully you have some happy memories to think of, too. When I hear some particularly rich gossip I sure wish my mother was there to tell. She told the best stories and was the best audience, too.