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day in a life

what to do when people like you?

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by
Helga
, 02-07-2012 at 04:54 PM (951 Views)
I am not a worrier, I don't sit around thinking and worrying about something that might not happen. I deal with things when they come, like my mom has financial worries about me when I don't, she needs to worry, it's what she does.

I was studying with a few girls today, when I arrived one was already there and she asked me if it was OK to move the theater trip to tomorrow, we have to see a play for school, I called my mom and asked if she could babysit tomorrow and that was OK. Then this girl asked if I wanted to come to a museum night downtown on Friday. One girl in the group will be dancing in a show so we are going to see that and then all the museums are open 'till midnight and we are gonna go get dinner and drinks and walk around. Now this is OK, my brother already invited my son to sleepover at his house on Friday, his son has spent a few nights here. They love it. Now I start thinking what I am going out twice! I can't do that can I?

I don't worry but I can't stop feeling nervous about this for some reason. anxious might be a better term since I have had problems with anxiety in the past.

When I was 18 I quit school because of depression and anxiety, I just couldn't handle the pressure. I tried a bunch of different therapies and drugs and when I found out I was pregnant I quit everything cold turkey, now that is not a good idea. I can handle it better now and I know I don't to go back to a therapist or anything like that but it still lingers a bit in my head and comes out at moments like this when I have to leave my 'comfort zone'.

I'm not gonna let it stop me from going since on Friday I would be alone anyway but tomorrow night that was like wow, leave home two nights this week. A few of the girls are going to see another show on Sunday and asked if I wanted to go with them but I said no, I think that it's enough to go out twice.

Another part of this is (like I say in the title) I am not used to people wanting my company. I am usually the one seeking it, not many call me and ask me to do something. I am usually the last one to find things out because I don't have a facebook page but they still make the effort to let me know and that is kinda cool but also I don't know I don't have words to describe what is wrong in my head.

I overthink, that is my problem.
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Comments

  1. Bluebiird's Avatar
    ....Took me about 2 and a half years to go out with my friends from Uni.... Mainly it was due to lack of confidence and experience. I don't go out much. I certainly don't go out with people much. I worried about getting lost or making a fool of myself, I didn't want to go on restaurant trips because I don't like people to see me eat. I worry that my manners aren't good enough (actually my manners are fine but I think about stuff like that all the time) and I eat too slowly. I don't like going to new and strange places because I'm scared of what could happen. But in my 3rd year I did go out with my friends a little. It was fun. Nothing scary happened. I didn't get lost because my friends were there and if I was worried I just kept close to them. No one seemed to care. They found my paranoia a little funny but it was okay. I just regret that I didn't do it sooner.
    That's all I had to say really. I find that the more you think about something the worse it seems.
    Not sure if this was helpful or not. I hope it is.
  2. qimissung's Avatar
    I feel the same way if I have or get (you decide ) to go out two night in a row. I feel both excited and put upon, and I love most of all the luxurious feeling of coming home.

    Right now it feels like most of my running around is running errands or going to work. I don't really get to do things that are fun, and I am kind of feeling the lack.

    I hope that whatever you decide, you will have fun and enjoy yourself, Helga.
  3. Virgil's Avatar
    We all over think. The mind can't help itself. I'm glad you have choices to choose from Good and have fun with whatever you decide.