Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Last Halloween totally sucked. We got a group of about 3 or 4 trick-or-treaters. They all grabbed for the sweets at the same time and had a little hand scuffle and once they'd all got some they went back for seconds. No way. They had to be prompted by their accompanying adult to say thank you and it was half-hearted and mumbled. That was it. This was on the Sunday that we'd been to the October expo, no I didn't go this year, so we were pretty tired and didn't have much time to prepare before the children came. Anyway, one lot of horrible children and that was it. Maybe my standards are too high but I've always thought that you should wait your turn and say thank you when someone gives you something, even if you hate it, a simple thank you won't hurt and that anything less than this is rude. Is that really so much to expect of today's youth? I didn't really have much of a costume last year, since I changed out of my cat maid outfit for the journey home but I had the sword and cute cat hat that I bought there. However, that was after the first lot of trick-or-treaters and we received no more.

This year I planned a week or so in advance. We got a good sized pumpkin about 2-3 weeks ago and I'm preparing to make a pumpkin pie. I also planned a simple costume in dribs and drabs. While doing a little shopping at the Tesco round the corner (a crappy little one that's good for the most basic of needs and that's it) I came across a little Halloween section. I got myself a cheap black wig and some pumpkin tea lights. I thought the idea of putting a pumpkin candle inside a pumpkin would be epic. Pumpkin cannibalism! I had the idea of being an undead maid. Odd since I'm afraid of zombies.

I carved a pumpkin on Saturday...no Sunday. I looked for inspiration a couple of days ago and found nothing to my liking. I'm told that the purpose of the pumpkin it to frighten away evil spirits, rather like a gargoyle. Not sure how true that is but I like the idea. Bearing that in mind I couldn't go for the standard pumpkin faces. How will that frighten evil spirits? I made myself a stencil but it was too squashed together so I had to cut out the individual pieces and space them out. I carved the pumpkin using a crappy little pumpkin carving kit from Tesco. I gave it a small nose, menacing eyes and big teeth, I also gave it horns that looked really cool but you can't see them so well from the front, you kind of have to turn it from one side to the other to get the full effect. I debated whether or not to name it since I couldn't come up with a cool name. It had to be scary yet not exactly evil. Does rather make you wonder how I came up with Beelzekin huh? Blame it on my watching the anime Beelzebub, it's so funny I just can't see it as evil. Obviously it's a combination of Beelzebub and pumpkin. I've never carved a pumpkin before. It was fun and I'm so pleased with how it turned out, it's better than I'd hoped.
We did try it once before, many years ago when I was very young. We got a very small pumpkin and mum carved it simply. We had it somewhere in the house but we had to be careful of fire so it wasn't anywhere visible to the outside. After a while mum took the top off of it because it was getting singed and might catch fire. We never had another pumpkin. Ah. Well, almost. I got one last year too, as soon as they were on sale. I intended to cook it but I never did. It rotted and we got rid of it. That's why I was determined to do better this year.
Obviously, never carved a pumpkin before. Didn't expect as much of the stringy pulpy stuff. I barely scooped out any flesh at all. I wasn't sure if the stringy bits were for eating so I looked it up, turns out they're not. Shame. Looks like the pie will be more sugar and less pumpkin. And no. We don't get pumpkin in a tin (I hear that's what most people use for these things). I'll see if anything is salvageable from Beelzekin but it seems such a shame to destroy it. However, if I don't make use of it it'll just rot anyway so no point getting sentimental.
I was worried about having a fire near our old fridge (it broke a week or so ago and we had to get a new one). To be fair it was older than me. My parents got it when they moved in and they got it second hand (it's was my mother's second sisters' (the one that's dead) before that). It served us well. Very well. Poor old fridge. Anyway, it has a gas canister at the back and I was worried that if the pumpkin caught fire or a stray spark got down there it'd blow up. Not to worry though because over the weekend a scrounger stole the canister and the grill from the back of the fridge and left the rest in the middle of the path. Anything they can sell. Sneaky bastard. I'm glad he took the canister in case of fire but it's still stealing, probably doesn't speak any English (few people do around here. This is England you know, where the main language is English. If you're going to live here learn the damned language. Ah sorry. that just pisses me off but I should save this for another time.)
So. I did the pumpkin and today I worked on my costume. I decided to go for a kind of sixth sense kind of look, dead thing with an obvious wound that caused death. I went for a knife in the stomach. I got some fake blood on Saturday. It also came with fake nails, red, black, green and white face paints, tiny red lipstick and false eyelashes. All of it was utter crap. The nails didn't fit my existing nails, the face paints were impossible to use (you know the kind of waxy looking ones? utter crap) and the eyelashes wouldn't stick. Luckily for me I only wanted the fake blood (and that came in a tiny tube) the other stuff would've been a bonus if it had worked but no big deal. I used my apron from my cat maid outfit but I didn't want to ruin it with fake blood so I poured fake blood on some spare material (yes, we still have it from last year) and taped it to a piece of bin liner (so the blood wouldn't soak through to the apron and defeat the object of using the scrap) and taped that to the apron. I also cut a hole in the scrap and took a knife from the kitchen. (I didn't like the idea of using a real knife but the realism is what would make it work). I wedged the knife into a thin piece of polystyrene (I believe it's Styrofoam in America, just so you all know what I'm on about). The new fridge came packed in both thick and thin pieces of polystyrene so I took a little bit of the thinner stuff. I put tape around the polystyrene to make it secure and poked the handle of the knife through the hole and taped it into place. I wore the black skirt I bought anticipating a hot summer (it was actually pretty cool). I'm not so against skirts now, still don't like them as much as jeans though (again, this topic is for another time). And one of my black long sleeved t-shirts. I put the apron on top and it looked really good. I used my black and white smoky eye shadow to put dark circles around my eyes and to pale it out at the edges and then (finding the face paint to be an epic fail) used the white side with spots of black all over my face and blended them together. It gave a really great pale grey undead effect. I couldn't have been more pleased. I also put on the cheap little black lipstick from a few years ago. It's doesn't really make your lips a smooth black, just makes them kind of grey. I put on the cheap wig. It looked great at the front but terrible at the back. then again no one would see the back. As a final touch I put fake blood over one hand, as if having discovered the wound with my hand and smeared a little on the window of the door. I had to shut the dog in the other room otherwise the children would leave before I could get to the door. I also put a little fake blood around Beelzekin's mouth but it wasn't so noticeable in the dark. I waited. I only expected one lot. I heard some go passed but they went to neighbouring houses instead of ours. Finally I got some, a little group of 3-4 of varying ages. I heard one mention the blood and say someone probably died there. Heheheheheheheeeee! They weren't expecting my costume. I opened the door and greeted them in what I think of as my posh voice. I have to speak slower to pronounce the words clearly enough and use longer words. I kept to character throughout. Based on last year I instructed them one at a time and said that I fed rude children to my pumpkin. They were polite and each waited their turn. Naturally they said thank you with a noticeable eagerness without prompting from the adult with them. When I shut the door I heard them say that was scary. I was very pleased. I remained in costume for the neck couple of hours but I didn't expect any more. Well. After a while I got another group of children. Again rather surprised but also polite. I decided not to be quite so strict and only tell them one at a time if I saw signs of the mass grab of last year. I didn't want to come across as an ogre. Not long after this I got some more. I think they met the second lot and were directed to me. The accompanying adult of this group was actually scared but the children voiced no complaints. She asked to take my picture and I saw no reason why not. With the poor lighting, the makeup and the hair not being my own identification would be difficult, also I wasn't using my normal voice the whole time. (you know I'm paranoid about those kinds of things, pictures of me on the internet and such, stalkers and all so I keep it very limited.) This group met with the last group and they came back so that adult could take my picture with the children. I let the children have another go at the sweets just because. (after the previous years of disaster I separated the sweets in advance. I kept the good ones for myself and put all the ones I hate back in the tub, this way everyone wins. It was an assorted tub of sweets and we always have leftovers, in fact we practically have the whole tub so I figured if I'm going to get left with sweets, it might as well be ones I like.) I had a few more after that. I lost count of the exact number. Towards the end I didn't object to the children grabbing a handful of sweets (I didn't really object much in the first place, joke's on them, they're all the ones I don't want anyway so they're doing me a favour). One group or two asked if it was real blood and I told them it wasn't. Another asked if it was a real knife. I told them it was. That child had a debate with the parent as they left because she said it wasn't a real knife even though I'd told him it was. If pressed further I would have lied and said that it was a knife without a blade, that it was broken or something, don't want people getting ideas now do we. Sure the blade was safely embedded in the polystyrene but you never know with some people. It is actually a very good knife. I use it for peeling and chopping vegetables. it's only small but it's sharp and sturdy.
I do wonder if the children were well behaved because of the shock of the costume or because of the voice I used. Never once broke character. Didn't smile for pictures, it would ruin the effect. Probably would've smiled if asked though. Only one child asked what I was. I replied that I was an undead maid.

The back story actually is that I am a reanimated corpse serving a necromancer. Not sure if he's a great one or not. The maid would say that he is. She's supposed to have been killed some time ago but I'd have to take into account the knife. It's a pretty recent knife. So the corpse that has clearly been stabbed is quite fresh and recent but the soul of the maid is actually quite old, which is why she talks in that posh yet subservient way. She can't remember her own death or her life before, only that she has been reanimated to serve her master. She also doesn't know anything about the corpse she is currently inhabiting. Her master gave her the task of giving sweets to the children. Most likely because he hates children and has gone though the kind of things I encountered over the past few years with Trick-or-treaters. Her mission is to ensure that the children are polite when receiving the sweets but not to deliberately frighten them. She must also continually check the pumpkin to make sure it's still lit but not on fire.

I wonder if word of my costume spread and that's why we had so many trick-or-treaters this year. Honestly, we only ever get about one or two a year. This year was just mad. We only had a few of the crappy sweets left so I put the good sweets in. Then I discovered the leftovers from last Halloween and salvaged what I could from that (the boiled ones were passable but the chewy ones had melted). It's probably a good thing that we didn't get any more trick-or-treaters by then anyway.

I just have one issue with this year. It's the first Halloween with my gargoyle Sebastian. I got a "safe pumpkin light" to light him up with so he'd stand out. I thought it was just a cheap white LED light but it actually flashed between red blue and green. It looked really tacky and it wasn't even bright enough to make Sebastian stand out. I was really disappointed by that. I wanted Sebastian to be seen. That kind of light is not good for lanterns. It's good if you're having a cheesy Halloween disco and you want some mood lighting but that's all. Very disappointed in that. But besides that everything went brilliantly, couldn't have asked for better. I'm amazed how well everything came together so well. Very pleased.
Well, I'm tired. Spent an hour or so writing this.

Bluebiird out.