Halls of the Dark Muse

I wake up this morning, and read in the morning before getting up as I always do, than I get dressed and turn on the computer and start reading Daniel Deronda which I have downloaded on my computer in PDF when all of the sudden out of nowhere I start feeling dizzy. At first I thought I was making myself dizzy, because I was sitting at the computer desk and I am not very good at just sitting still, and so I tend to rock and fidget around in my chair, which does sometimes make me dizzy when I am reading on the computer while doing it. So I get up and move with my computer (it is a lap top) to the couch to resume my reading, but I can still feel the dizziness so eventually I stopped reading.

Well after that I could not do much of anything, just trying to sit still did not help, and I could not really move around very much, and it seemed the only to try and feel more stabilized was by standing perfectly still which is not something I am capable of doing, so I ended up having to go lie down in bed, which is another thing of which I am not very capable of. I kept getting up every 30 seconds like "ok is it gone now" than I would end up having to go back to bed again.

So I ended up having to go through the whole day without practically reading anything at all, every now and than I would try and pick up one of my books to read, but could barely make it through one full page before I had to put it down again and finally give up on further attempts.

Eventually I was able to at least get up walk around, watch TV and pop into the computer at least for small bits at a time, but I usually do not watch much on TV during the day time so I had virtually nothing I could do.

I spent most my time entertaining myself by texting my friend, because that was one thing I could do without it bothering me very much.

At one point I was going to try and take and Advil, because I thought my dizziness was related to this headache I had, but that failed, not that the pill did not work, but my attempts to take it did not work so well. I know that sounds strange, but I will explain.

I am not in the habit of taking medication. For one thing I very rarely get sick, and almost never get headaches and have a high tolerance for pain so usually whatever is wrong with me I take the mind over matter, tough it out approach. I can count on one hand the number of times in my adult life I have taken medication.

But I was so mind numbingly bored in not being able to do anything but lie in bed and not being able to read I thought I would break with my usual tradition. So I put the pill in my mouth, (and I do have a gad reflex so the thought of swallowing something whole is somewhat tripeidatious to me) but than before I could drink the water with it, I freaked out because the Advil started to dissolve in my mouth and so I spit it out than I tried to drop the pill in the cup of water and just do it all at once but it kept sinking to the bottom of the cup, so I finally just had to throw it out and give up on that.

Needless to say I am doing better now, but still I do not think I could make the attempt to try and seriously read anything. But at least there is stuff for me to watch on TV now in the evening. I just hope that this is gone when I wake up in the morning because I do not think I can go through another day of nothing being able to read anything.