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The key to being a AAA calltaker is twofold. Listening first then collecting the information and properly forwarding it to the dispatcher for swift and sure service.

About two weeks ago the call center was witness to a grumpy dinosaur venting in his best imitation of Gomer Pyle's Sgt Carter not having a good day in the corps.

They were relieved that the anger and rage was not on their account. We have had several new personnel working for us of late. In order to avoid paying health benefits AAA has been using temps. They have my sympathy and admiration in subjecting themselves to this sort of work with little incentive. The turnover has been regular but three of them have been with awhile now and they are coming along well.

A little known secret is that when a motorist breaks down in an area and calls AAA there is no guarantee that the calltaker they are conversing with is actually even in the state the breakdown has occured in.

Amanda was the calltaker working out of Hartford CT made this night memorable.

One would think if you taking information about a city you were very far removed from a conscious effort for detail would be paramount.

I watch too much TV obviously even with the cutting back. But on a side note after eight years of ignoring it I have discovered NCIS and LOVE it. Ziva and Tony Ziva and Tony--work together better then Logos and Mtpspur. Sigh.

Moving on: The ticket I received states a member has been in an accident on State Route 201 between Taylorsville Road and U. S. Route 40 in Dayton Ohio. Destination--an adress in Dayton.

Irrirtation starts--the temper tantrum is about ten minutes away as I start to deal with this.

Police are on location. Sigh--I need to work this in a pro-active manner. There are problems with the infomation.

Readers are wondering what the big deal here is. In a bad mystery a vital clue has been left out for the reader but since the missing clue is what brought on the rant and rave moment so dear to the heart of the Drama Queen we'll deal first with the geography lesson.

First off: Dayton is NOT the city the member reduced the deer population by one and increased their insurance rates by a bunch.

Taylorsville Road as a cross street to st route 201 is actually in Huber Heights. This is not a big deal--we get this a lot. People in Huber thinking they are in Dayton as they are pretty much on top of each other. Both are in Montgomery county--my jurisdiction.

But U.S. 40 the other end of the crosstreet is in Tipp City OH which is in Miami county. So the accident is somewhere between two counties and covering a three to four mile stretch.

All is not lost. Good news and life is fine again. The car is in a PARKING LOT. Excellent. Even without an address finding them will be a piece of cake.

I read the call over.

Twice.

Nowhere in the comments other then to advise police are on location is the NAME of the parking lot.

So wrong city, two counties, and I have NO idea where to start looking.

There are reasons we ask members for a phone number.

Voice mail should be outlawed. Why carry the cell phone if you won't answer it?!!

I try the old trick of calling continuously while poking pins in Amanda's hastily created voodoo doll.

Nope--I leave a message advising the lady of my plight.

The temper simmers while I very reluctantly go to plan B--call the police.

It's annoying to have to do that because I'll have to confess AAA screwed it up and I need their help and the police do not have the high regard for us they used to and I suspect I'm imagining even that.

The U.S. 40 reference appeals to me so I call (in retrospect the Vandalia police--which is adjacent to Tipp and Huber.) No help there--they refer me to Huber and in all honesty I should have started with that anyway.

I'm about to be have another illusion shattered. Turns out if you call Huber and the phones ring awhile they SWITCH you to Vandalia police who are STILL of no help. Nor is there an offer of one.

I think about Amanda and what I would like to say to her but my honest feeling is she would probably be of little help in the recall department.

I then rant and rave to the call center. They are somewhat used to it and I'm not getting the feedback and attention I crave so back to dispatch to pout a bit.

Thirty minutes have gone by now. All this tme I already know who I'm gojng to send even if it IS Miami county--we have a station that handles that area and is perfect for it. I just need to know where to send them.

I call the member again to see if they will answer the phone.

Prayer is answered.

A very nice elderly lady and I chat a bit. The parking is a storage lot.

Name please??

I don't know.

My warm glow of satisfaction at moving things along starts to fade.

But the officer here can tell you.

The glow returns. Finally--a professional.

Logos will call Logos will call--I know this I know this.

Guess WHO doesn't know the name of the storage lot??

But if you go pass Mike's Gas station we're right down the street.

I thank him with the grace of a hypocrite and the curses of a Pharissee as I contact my station and yes my driver knows exactly where the storage lot if from Mike's.

I send a little e-mail to Amanda advising her of the happy ending. She is smart enough NOT to answer back.