View RSS Feed

Nostalgia

my most recent poem. (drunk poetry, again)

Rate this Entry
Another Midnight Failure

Feeling the lack of volume,
The openness inside,
Reminds me of our time together.
Plastic on glass
Or maybe a cork pop on a fancy night begins the ceremony.
Aromas of smoke, wood, adventure,
And maybe an overtone of longing drift on the air.
Memories flow freely as the liquid,
Unlocking the deep feelings and fears;
Breaking the bond between the nature
Of good ideas and bad.

Every shot takes me back to another place
And another time when things were better.
Until the spinning paints a mirage of faces on the ceiling above me
and blends into a collage of emotions that end in blackness.
Another nail in the coffin
Another battle lost

Updated 01-16-2011 at 01:32 PM by skib

Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    I like this, because it's the kind of poetry I imagine some one like you writing Skib. Is this what a cowboy writes? If I were to say a kind words of improvement, I'd tell you to loose the cliche ending.
  2. qimissung's Avatar
    It's good, drunk or sober. I do agree with jersea on the ending, though.
  3. skib's Avatar
    Well then it better go, I think! Thank you both for your unanimous agreements. The last two lines, or the last four? I took off the last two that seem the most cliche, but if the next two need to go I could live with that. It might need a better wrap up, if so. I'll get to work on that.
  4. qimissung's Avatar
    I meant the last two. It's so sad...I'm not sure what to add if you want to make it more positive or leave the reader with a vestige of hope. Nothing wrong with a sad poem though. I've written plenty of them.
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    I like this too skib. Very well done.
  6. skib's Avatar
    Thank you, Virgil! At first it seems like it ended rather abruptly, but it's grown on me.