day in a life

Well it is Saturday again and my son is with his dad this weekend, I find myself so happy with life right now. it is so odd, this feeling. I don't remember being this happy ever before. I have to admit I do feel lonely sometimes but I don't think that has that much to do with happiness. I like living alone and I am not ready for a relationship even though I sometimes wish I had more people to talk to... but anyway I am gonna watch Stargate the movie with my brother tonight his girlfriend is working so we decided that every now and then when we are both alone we would watch something the people around us don't want to watch. So I am looking forward to that.

I put a poem in personal poetry yesterday, it is a poem I wrote last January when an old friend of mine died in a fire. I made a few changes to it cause it was mainly based on my original emotions and I felt it wasn't true enough... if you understand.I want it to be clear that even though I consider him my first love and someone I was crazy about, I don't think he saw me in the same way. We had been really close for a few years but this relationship we had was not as deep as I wanted it, but because of his problems with some illegal smoking and more he disappeared for a week so I decided to end everything before he would hurt me or maybe before I realized he didn't want me for the same things I wanted him. My friend once told me that the song 'You Do' with Aimee Mann is how she saw my relationship with this boy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAOfSZxxvNo
well this is what I want to show with that poem real feelings I had but of course I don't know how his feelings truly where, or if he had them for me at all.

this is enough ranting about something I can't change.

well this is one confused happy girl

oh and I might ask for some advice later on on the personal poetry because my poems might be used as lyrics for a singer here on the ice..... under an alias of course.