View RSS Feed

Progymnasmata

Real Men: A List and A Lament

Rate this Entry
10 Comments
by
The Comedian
, 10-04-2010 at 10:03 AM (2004 Views)
Lately, I've been pretty disappointed with my once-proud gender. Sure generations ago were were violence-mongering *******s with tendencies to xenophobia and misogyny.

But that stuff gets too much press these days. As a former boss of mine once said, "in lieu of the truth, people will always accept bad news as gospel". Now, men seem to be pathetic, lethargic, and overall undignified.

Real Men:

1. Work hard -- with their muscles, I mean. They build stuff, wreck stuff, sweat, get grimy. And they do so with a little satisfaction -- that mild to middlin' muscle aches feel good in a physical and spiritual sense.

2. Read -- I'm not too picky about what they read: Green Lantern, Outdoor Life magazine, (Heck, even Out! magazine), Rachel Carson, Faulkner, W.S. Merwin. . . . the local newspaper. It doesn't matter. But they read.

3. Honor (as a verb) -- they honor their commitments, wives and lovers, and (for God's sake!) themselves. They don't pout, mope, or complain. The honor their work. They even honor those who do not honor them. To me, "honor" (as a verb) is the encapsulating virtue of men.

4. Help -- with the dishes, laundry, cooking, taking out the trash, talking out a problem. They help with patience, understanding, sympathy, and silence. Unlike what happens so often today, they are not quick to judge, but they hold each man accountable for his action.

They will sometimes help by simply watching to see how someone succeeds or fails on his own because they've honored the individual's independence. And a real man helps himself by demonstrating an honest, quiet humility.

. . . . .

I was going for five but I can't think of a fifth. 'Ef it in the name of brevity. And four is a sacred number -- the four directions, four winds, four seasons. . .a family of four is nice too.

. . . .

Later. . . . I feel so sorry for my two girls. Their grandfathers are so terrible. One: lazy, mean, worthless, helpless, dependent. The other all luster and no content. . . . just a bright delightful build up to an inevitable let down. A liar and a scam.

Surely men, my brothers, we can do better than this?
Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Lulim's Avatar
    Alas, I've never met a specimen who fulfills all these requirements.
  2. Silas Thorne's Avatar
    Yes, I know some people who let 1 or 2 phase the other one out, or completely forget 3 altogether.
  3. qimissung's Avatar
    While I understand your concern for your daughters, I don't feel too sorry for them-they have you.
  4. OrphanPip's Avatar
    I object to 1, I have delicate hands that blister easily, and I don't like getting sweaty.
  5. The Comedian's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by OrphanPip
    I object to 1, I have delicate hands that blister easily, and I don't like getting sweaty.
    Humm. . . . I've always wondered about you Pip. <--- joke
  6. Virgil's Avatar
    I guess I have problems with number 1 and 4. I don't get to do much physical work, but I do go to the gym and workout. Does that count? Now with number four, I do some of that, but I have to be horsewhipped to get my butt moving and motivated.
  7. mtpspur's Avatar
    My grandfather was no prize so sympathies to your daughters. Kids can sense when relationships are not healthy. Not saying the laundry needs airing out but be cautious and above truthful--the strangest things get remmebered by kids when they get older.
    Updated 10-07-2010 at 02:29 AM by mtpspur (usual horrid typing and lazy no proofreading)
  8. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    I empathize with your daughters, my grandfather on my dad's side is a jackass. The worst part of it is knowing that I'm made of him. He contributed 1/4 of my being, I can't believe it. I'm holding on to the slim chance that my spineless grandmother slept around, my dad is a redhead...

    Anywho, I was thinking about your list last night and it reminded me of something. There being four, it's a lot like the four elements and houses which I learned from Alan Moore, initially. He talked about them like they were a sort of blueprint, the four things that everyone needs in order to be a well-rounded human being, and your list basically encompasses all four of them, see?

    1. Work Hard = Physical labour = earth = coins
    2. Read = Intellect and reason = air = swords
    3. Honour = Will and commitment = fire = wands
    4. Help = Compassion = water = cups

    Your ideas about what a man should be match up really nicely with those of old pantheists and metaphysicians. Cool.

    Also, it's neat that you should say that honour (as a verb) is the "encapsulating virtue of men." That's the general opinion in the circles who talk about these things. Will, fire and wands are usually referred to as THE symbols and qualities of male virtue (but both sexes need them in order to be well-rounded - just like how both sexes need compassion, water and cups even though these things are THE symbols and qualities of female virtue).
    Updated 10-06-2010 at 01:41 AM by JuniperWoolf
  9. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    This entry was widely read.

    I have blogged about the same sort of disappointment in my son's own grandparents. What can you do?

    As far as the list of manly things that define a man- I give all those traits a thumbs up. The best for me is a man and a hammer, or even better, an ax!
  10. L.M. The Third's Avatar
    I was wondering if I actually know any guy like that, and then I realized that while my dad is far from perfect in those things, they still encompass traits he has shown.