day in a life

It is odd how people can act when it comes to sports. Here on the ice football/soccer is the most popular sport. My brother is a trainer for the club he played in as a kid and they are one of the best and biggest here on the ice. My son and my brothers son both have hats with the clubs symbol, my boy is 4 like you know and my brothers son is 2, they have both gotten comments on the street about these hats, it's fun when grown men give them high five because of it or give them the thumbs up, but both boys have gotten comments they didn't understand too. I was walking across a street with him and as he waves to the driver, the drives shouts out the window something about another football club, the 2 year old was with his mom walking around when a grown man, I repeat grown man said the F word about the people who support this club!!! What is wrong with people? I don't play any sports but my dad was one of the leading people behind the scenes in this club and he was in a band that only wrote and played songs about the club, my son loves the record I have of the band. My dad would turn in his grave if he knew how people talk to his grandkids about supporting the club we all grew up in! Maybe I am taking it to seriously but it annoyed me.

I think I am very weird these days, I love being alone but I still don't want to be alone. I wish I could wake up in a great relationship one day, with someone who dosen't want to watch tv all the time and would be fine sitting quiet and reading or listening to music... I often think about something I heard about Sartre and de Beauvoir, they used to go to the same cafe a lot together but sit at different tables and read or write. That is an understanding in a relationship I want, being happy together but still be individuals with their own space. not that I don't want to sit with him but to be able to be together in this way is great.

life can play tricks on you. Another thing I think about a lot is how good it is to long for something, now when I was in a relationship I longed to be alone, now I want a relationship.. I wrote on my fridge the words 'Imagine life without desire' and 'these are strange days' I have always been obsessed with quotes and this is nothing someone said, or at least not that I know of but bring me comfort in a way.

I just signed out of the church. I have been planning to do it for years but never did and these last few weeks there has been a lot of problems in the church and now I thought was the perfect time to let my tax go to something else.

anyway, I need to get back to my books