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Progymnasmata

Fantasy Football

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by
The Comedian
, 08-13-2010 at 07:36 PM (1345 Views)
So I tell my wife "you know dear there's only one thing -- just one! -- that I love more than you and the kids: the Fantasy Football draft. All the other days, you guys are more important to me. You should be grateful." She does this: and smiles.

Later I say this to her: "Honey, let me revise my previous statement: there's only one day in the entire year that's more important to me than our anniversary, Christmas, either kid's birthday, etc: the fantasy football draft. That's it. That's the only day that more important than all those other days. Repeat: She does this: and smiles.

. . . .

Today is the Fantasy Football draft. So here's what I did to prepare:

  1. I came home early from work and folded all the laundry.
  2. I picked up and vacuumed the house.
  3. I bought Mrs. Comedian a girlie movie and 1/4 lb of fudge from the candy store.
  4. I did the dishes after dinner.


Then I said "It's draft day."

She smiled. "I suppose you need cheap beer and chips."

I smile.

Then she said sarcastically "I suppose you also need some Playboy pinups too. How can you have football and beer without B$$bs?"

"Astute point," I say. "But I need to be able to concentrate. This is super important."

We both laugh.

Now, if you'll excuse me. It's time to draft me a team.

Updated 08-13-2010 at 08:26 PM by The Comedian

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Comments

  1. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    This is such a sweet blog, Comedian. I can't say that I can appreciate fantasy football, but I can appreciate men and their toys.
  2. papayahed's Avatar
    Yeah, what is it about fantasy football drafts?
  3. Virgil's Avatar
    I've got friends that play fantasy football and baseball and that becomes the focus of the sports seasons. I've been tempted to play fantasy baseball (I find that more interesting because baseball has so much more statistics) but I've never done it. I'm afraid it would consume all my free time.

    Well good luck. At least football season is not far away.
  4. mtpspur's Avatar
    My partner Tonya's (from work) husband runs a Fantasy Football game and I have heard some strange conversations as a result when she's on the phone with him. I was actually looking at a magazine rack at Meijers last night and there were two different periodicals dedicated to the topic. For the record the strangest niche magazine I have never read is called Brick--dedicated to fans of Legos. Unless you count G-Fan dedicated to Godzilla but owning a complete run (when the mag went from fanzine to fluu fledged on sale magazine) I'm certainly sure would not qualify as strange.
  5. qimissung's Avatar
    Cute blog. It really makes me think of that scene in "knocked Up," although I'm sure your marriage is in much better shap than that guy's.