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finding stuff

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Weeell, here I am again. Funny old thing this lit forum, and the internet in general. I can never get round the fact that my computer contains all the information I could ever need, and yet it seems to take a huge amount of effort to ever find what I want. It takes me hours to find anything on the internet. Even looking through the forum for discussions I feel passionate enough about, or are about topics where I feel I have something useful to say, takes me ages. I found it much easier in the good old days where knowledge was hidden away from most people in dusty old libraries rather than being easily set free from the grey plastic box in their living rooms/studies. I like sitting in libraries; I don't do enough of that these days. Maybe its just me and my fetish for books. The librarian at the school I work in got a whole bunch of new books I'd ordered today. I was so excited. Specially at the smell of them. I'm thinking maybe I'm a little bit mad.

So I went out for dinner last night with some people who are neither family, nor really friends as such, more friends of a friend. They spent about an hour discussing the traffic: how busy the roads were, various car accidents they'd had, different types of cars etc. I found that I had absolutely nothing to contribute so didn't say anything. Is that rude? I also found it quite depressing that what these people seemed to have in common is the most annoying of things, i.e. how to travel to work. I'm quite glad that I can't be bothered to buy a car.

Just got my essay back, I passed! hooray. So that's quite good. I dunno who I'm writing this blog for right now, haven't been here long enough yet, but I thought I'd write it anyway if only for meself. Till next time.
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  1. mtpspur's Avatar
    If it helps I started mine for myself for theraphy and sort of a diary to see if I was making some sort of progress in life. We suffer from the Peter Pan syndrome then it morphed into sort of sketches of events that made me what I am and who I am and just maybe be a bit of history for the kids/grandkids as I know more about Batman then I ever will about my own father who was amost evil about his privacy. Still working on that demon.

    Advice to any writer, write for yourself, be honest and someday you'll lookaround and find comments from people that you begin to feel connected to in an abstract safe way of course. They don't hit you up for money.
  2. Countess's Avatar
    Boy do I understand your sentiment regarding those people/conversation. It's the main reason I steer clear of social gatherings: boredom causes my mind to wander, and then I feel guilty for not paying attention, or I force myself to pay attention, which taxes my energy reserves and leaves me exhausted. Next time, tell them you're washing your hair - LOL!
  3. Neo_Sephiroth's Avatar
    If it helps, you're not alone...Countess seems to feel the way.

    Yes, yes...Me too.
  4. GrayFoxDown's Avatar
    Welcome back, Lyn. "Finding stuff" is what writing is all about. Whether what is found is real or imaginary, it's being able to express that in words or music or painting...and just "go with the flow" and expand on each thought and idea that enters your mind. For instance, what you were writing about in this latest post: merely expand on the incident, adding shapes and forms, colors and sounds, etc.., and create a story, a statement, an observation, or anything you're able to imagine. Good Luck (A word of advice: Never, Ever, Ever fear rejection or failure or disappointment ,anything that only serves to bring you down and ultimately ruin you, you MUST have confidence in your own abilities and desires.)
  5. Lyn's Avatar
    Thank you for your comments, all. It does help to feel I'm not alone! I think I'm writing this for a desire with a bit more contact with human beings who like the same kind of things that I do - i.e. books, philosophy, independent thought... Although I know quite a few people, very few of the 'friends' I have read books. Also because I just like to witter - conversation is one of my favourite occupations, but I tend to lack confidence. When I write, though, I tend to say what I mean without worrying so much about it. I haven't 'written' anything other than academic essays in years and maybe this site will inspire me to actually create something again. Thank you Countess, I like your approach. Next time I'm invited out to a similar 'polite' social gathering I think I'll just run for the hills..